Five Become Zero | Teen Ink

Five Become Zero

October 12, 2010
By BlakeAndrue BRONZE, Coachella, California
BlakeAndrue BRONZE, Coachella, California
1 article 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You never know how STRONG you are until being strong is your only option." ~ Pastor Eddie James Windsor


Dear Elizabeth Gray,

I would like to invite you to stay on a tropical island with me and some other guests this weekend. I would be pleased if you would come. It would mean the world to me to see you again. I hope that time is soon! Here is the Address: 43782 Trepidation Lane, Little Palm Island, Florida. See you this weekend.
Sincerely,
“A.N. Onimis,” muttered Elizabeth Gray. She was a short frail woman, about sixty years of age. She wore a green and white flowered blouse and a long white skirt. “Do I know an A. N. Onimis? I don’t think I do. Let me think. I may recall meeting this A. N. Onimis once at a dinner party. Oh Yes! The young man with the blue blazer. Yes. A. N. Onimis! Fine gentleman, he is! I will most definitely meet him in Florida. Florida is not to far from here in Georgia.” Elizabeth pulled out a piece of paper and began to write a reply letter.
Dearest Alfred N. Onimis,
I received your letter. I cannot wait to join you on your tropical paradise! I will arrive at 6:00 pm on Friday night. If there is any additional information that I should know, please write back to me.
Sincerely,
Elizabeth Gray




Dear Marcos Boccioni,

I would like to invite you to stay on a tropical island with me and some other guests this weekend. I would be pleased if you would come. It would mean the world to me to see you again. I hope that time is soon! Here is the Address: 43782 Trepidation Lane, Little Palm Island, Florida. See you this weekend.
Sincerely,
“Antonio! How much I would love to come visit him!” Marcos exclaimed. Marcos was a tall man with olive skin and a heavy Italian accent. He wore a blue and black pinstripe suit and worked as a chef in a popular café. “I must write back immediately!” Marcos pulled out a pen and paper and began to write.
Antonio, my good friend,
I can not even begin to describe how delighted I am to hear from you! Of course I will visit you in Florida. It is a long way from Oregon, but it will be worth it. I cannot wait to see you.
Your Companion,



Marcos Boccioni


Dear Shane and Karen Green,
I would like to invite you to stay on a tropical island with me and some other guests this weekend. I would be pleased if you would come. It would mean the world to me to see you again. I hope that time is soon! Here is the Address: 43782 Trepidation Lane, Little Palm Island, Florida. See you this weekend.
Sincerely,
“A. N. Onimis? Honey, do you know this person?” Karen called to her husband. She was a blonde woman in her 30’s with a white dress and blue cardigan over it. She had smile lines all around her mouth. Her hair was up in a bun. “Shane!” Shane appeared at the door, “yes, honey?” Shane was a tall man with dark hair. He looked like he was also in his 30’s. He was pale and had deep green eyes. He wore a plain white V-Neck and faded blue jeans. Karen asked, “Honey, do you know an A. N. Onimis?” “Uh, I think so. I’m pretty sure he used to be a colleague of mine. Why?” Shane replied. “He invited us to go to a tropical island in Florida with him,” Karen answered. Shane thought about it for a while then finally said, “Tell him we will be there.” Shane exited and left Karen alone. She picked up the pen and started writing.
Dear A. N. Onimis,
We got your letter. My husband, Shane thinks it is a great idea. We will be coming, but I don’t trust you, so I will be watching you very closely. If you try to pull anything, I have 9-1-1 on speed-dial. We will see you soon.
Sincerely,
Dear Jose Garcia,
I would like to invite you to stay on a tropical island with me and some other guests this weekend. I would be pleased if you would come. It would mean the world to me to see you again. I hope that time is soon! Here is the Address: 43782 Trepidation Lane, Little Palm Island, Florida. See you this weekend.
Sincerely,
“A. N. Onimis never heard the name. Aye! Aye! Aye! Well, I might know the name. If I remember correctly, she might have been the old lady across the room at Eduardo and Carmelita’s wedding. AYE!” Jose Garcia slammed his hand to his dark forehead. He wore ripped khaki shorts and a baggy red T-Shirt. He was about 40. “I’ll email her back.” He turned on his computer and began to type slowly, as if considering each word carefully.
Dearest Alexia Narcissi Onimis,
I know why you are inviting me. Believe me, I have not stopped thinking about you since I saw you. I would be very glad to visit you. See you very soon!
Hasta Luego,
Jose Garcia.
Jose sighed and pressed send. He turned off his computer and walked out of the room.
Elizabeth Gray stepped into the small row boat with much caution. She saw many images appearing slowly, also coming towards the boat. She could make out very little detail with her poor eyesight, but she did see what looked like a couple, an Italian man, and a Hispanic man. She watched their movements carefully, not sure if she could trust these strangers. As they got nearer, she realized, judging by their facial expressions, that they were just as confused as she was. For no apparent reason, this made her nervous.
The other four guests got into the rowboat. The man from the couple got in first with no problem. He then helped his struggling wife into the row boat. Next came the Italian man. He got in easily, but the Hispanic man seemed to be afraid to step in. “What is the matter?” Elizabeth questioned, breaking the silence. “I cannot exactly swim,” Jose admitted. Elizabeth was trying to hold in her laughter as she thought of a reply. How can this 40 year old man not swim? She thought. At last she said, “It will be fine. Just come on in so we can get there.”
The party of five started to row following a flock of sea gulls that flew overhead and together seemed to read: “Trepidation” The five thought it was common sense to follow this strange flock. For hours, the ocean was silent. All you could hear was the chatter of the birds up above, the grunts of the old woman as she used all of her energy to row, the whimpers of the Hispanic man, and the occasional snickering between the couple. Finally, the silence was ended when Jose blurted, “How do you four know Alexia?” “Alexia?” Marcos asked. “I am going to visit Antonio, my friend from years ago.” “I am sorry, but I am positive we are meeting Alexia Narcissi Onimis, a lady who I am quite fond of,” Jose shot back. Shane, confused, said, “Wait a minute. I thought we were meeting my old colleague, A. N. Onimis.” Karen gasped and dropped her oar. Everybody looked at her. “What is it, sweetie?” Shane asked. “A. N. Onimis,” She replied. The rest looked confused, but she went on, “A. N. Onimis. ANonimis, Anonymous!” Everybody looked at each other in confusion and chaos. “Well! Turn the boat around!” Shane cried out. “It’s too late,” Elizabeth whispered, “we’re already here.”
Shane turned and saw the sign, Welcome to Little Palm Island! Population: 0

The party of five got out of the boat to swim to shore. Marcos jumped out and gracefully swam to shore with a pleasant, Italian stride. Shane stepped out of the boat and swam slowly to shore and Karen stayed by his side the whole time. Elizabeth dived in and swam as fast as her fragile body could carry her, not happy about being left behind. Marcos reached the shore. He stood up and shook his shaggy hair, getting all of the water out. Shane came up behind him, Karen right behind. Elizabeth finally caught up and stood on shore, her little body shaking like she had been frozen inside a piece of ice.

“Anybody seen Jose?” Marcos called. Everybody looked around frantically. A wave rolled onto the shore. A human body was visible among the waves. A Hispanic man, in his forties. He wore a baggy, red T-Shirt and ripped khaki shorts. “Jose?” Shane whispered. Jose did not reply, nor move at all. The crowd stood there awkwardly for a few minutes. A man they had met a few hours ago had now drowned to death. They shuddered to see his messy, brown hair and thick moustache. This all was shocking, but the one thing that disturbed them the most was a dark red hand mark around his tan ankle.

The four remaining guests went into the house, scared to find out their fates. Karen looked back at the blood-red water. Once they were inside, they saw a note.
Friends,
I am so glad you could make it! I was elated when I read your replies. Unfortunately, I got the flu and will not be joining you. Have fun with one another.
A.N. Onimis
“That was so fake! ‘I got the flu’ seriously? I don’t want to be here!” Karen rambled. “Relax!” Marcos shot back. “We’ll find a way off.” Shane exclaimed, “Guys, look!” He pointed to a small red box. Elizabeth went over to it and took off the top cautiously. Inside, were four small chocolates. “Chocolate!” Marcos cried out. He reached for one. Elizabeth slapped his hand away. “HEY!” He retorted. He went for another. “Marcos, those could be poisoned,” Karen explained. “What are the odds? I’m eating them all,” Marcos rebelled. He ate them all with one big gulp. “See, nothing happened.” The rest just looked at one another, shaking their heads.

“I’m going to sleep,” Shane declared. Everybody else nodded and muttered in agreement. They all went upstairs and found four rooms. Elizabeth took the one on the far right. Shane and Karen took the one on the immediate right. Marcos took the room on the immediate left. He told the others, “I’m going to bring Jose in and lay him down on his bed.” He went down the squeaking stairway and out the door. He went onto the shore and looked for Jose. He finally found him lying on the shoreline. A wave came over him. Marcos rushed over and picked up José. He dragged him upstairs, stumbling the whole way. When he reached the rooms, he laid Jose down gently on the turquoise bed. He went back to his room and went to sleep.

Elizabeth jolted awake. She heard footsteps outside her door. She went into the hallway and looked around. She saw a shadow moving across the hall. She checked everybody’s room. Shane and Karen were fast asleep. Jose was dead. Marcos was gone.

The next morning, Elizabeth went around checking all the other rooms. Karen and Shane were awake, talking. Jose was still there, dead. When Elizabeth got to Marcos’s room, she saw an Italian man lying on the ground with several cut marks on his chest. Vomit dripped from his mouth, pieces of chocolate around his head. “Shane! Karen! Get in here!” She called. The couple came running in. Karen screamed when she saw the dead body. Shane just froze, mouth open, staring. Elizabeth accused, “It was one of you two!” “It was clearly the poison from the chocolates,” Karen cried out, defending herself. “Yes, but there are also stab marks,” Elizabeth pointed out. “He could have done that to put himself out of his misery,” Shane explained. “True, but I don’t trust either of you,” Elizabeth declared. With that they all left the room and sat alone in their rooms.

Shane and Karen were sitting alone in their room, chatting, when they heard a banging on their window. Shane pulled open the curtain to find a sign: Meet me on the beach. –A.N. Onimis
Shane and Karen slowly went down the stairs, watching their back and looking around cautiously. They went out the glass doors and found a bottle. Karen picked up the bottle and opened it. Inside there was a rolled up message:
Look for me in the middle of the sea. –A.N. Onimis
“We should split up,” Shane noted. “Good idea,” Karen agreed. Shane turned left and Karen went right. They searched for hours and found nothing. The water started to ripple around Karen. A grey dorsal fin emerged from the surface of the water. The Shark jumped up and attacked Karen, just barely giving her enough time to scream, but by the time Shane had turned around, it was too late. He saw her Blue stiletto floating in the water. Next to it he noticed a grey shark and a remote control that had been shorted out, along with the mechanical shark.

Shane ran back to the room. He saw a note on his bed. It read: She didn’t trust me. –A.N. Onimis Beside the note, he saw the reply letter Karen had sent to Anonymous.
Dear A. N. Onimis,
We got your letter. My husband, Shane thinks it is a great idea. We will be coming, but I don’t trust you, so I will be watching you very closely. If you try to pull anything, I have 9-1-1 on speed-dial. We will see you soon.
Sincerely,

Shane went into Elizabeth’s room and saw that she was missing.

Elizabeth heard the familiar scream of Karen and rushed outside. She saw a blue stiletto floating in the water. Another thing she observed was the form of Shane retreating to the house. “I knew it!” She cried out. She returned to her room and heard the shuffle of Shane’s footsteps in her room. She hid around the corner, out of sight. She watched as he came out of her room, looking terrified. She crept into her bedroom, afraid to touch anything. She saw a note on her bed: You Are Next! – A.N. Onimis

Shane steered clear of Elizabeth for the rest of the day. By nightfall, He finally decided to go talk to her. He walked carefully into her bedroom. “Elizabeth?” There was no answer. That was when he saw here. The old woman was now hanging from the ceiling, her face a deep shade of blue. A rope was tied around her neck. The wall was spray-painted: A.N. Onimis was here!

Shane rushed back to his room. He packed up his stuff and got ready to leave. When he looked up, he saw a tan man in a red T-Shirt staring at him, an evil look in his eyes. To make matters worse, a pistol was in his hand, aimed at Shane. “What are you doing her, Jose? I thought you drowned!” Shane choked out. Jose explained, “It was quite simple actually. I sent all the letters. I convinced you all that I could not swim. I stole Karen’s make-up bag to make the hand-mark, and then laid still enough that you’d think I had been drowned. You did not worry about me any longer. I poisoned the chocolates, knowing Marcos’s weakness. I sent a mechanical shark to attack Karen. Elizabeth was in her room and I came out from under her bed, put my hand over her mouth, put the noose over her head, and hung her. I spray-painted the walls to throw you off a bit. Now, Shane Green, Say hello to your wife again!” Jose shot a metal bullet straight towards Shane’s head and another towards his heart. Both hit him. Shane collapsed and never got back up again. Jose threw the gun into the ocean and followed it, ending his life as well. That was how a guest party of five quickly became zero. All five passed away and were never discovered again.


The author's comments:
I love murder mysteries and really wanted to write one. after reading And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie, I got this idea.

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This article has 6 comments.


on Nov. 5 2010 at 10:03 pm
BlakeAndrue BRONZE, Coachella, California
1 article 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You never know how STRONG you are until being strong is your only option." ~ Pastor Eddie James Windsor

no problem

MommaBeej said...
on Nov. 4 2010 at 4:41 pm
Very good! I wish I knew this was here. I really enjoyed reading it.

on Oct. 19 2010 at 2:28 pm
deus-ex-machina14 BRONZE, Stewartsville, New Jersey
1 article 0 photos 439 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There are two main tragedies in life. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it." -Oscar Wilde

No problem! Maybe you could check out some of my stuff if you wanted. I'd really like your opinion!

on Oct. 18 2010 at 9:42 pm
BlakeAndrue BRONZE, Coachella, California
1 article 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You never know how STRONG you are until being strong is your only option." ~ Pastor Eddie James Windsor

“'Tell him we will be there.' Shane exited and left Karen alone." I meant to put "'Tell him we will be there.' Shane said, excitedly. That was when he left Karen alone." Sorry, I was writing this at like 11 o clock because i am busy during the day.

on Oct. 18 2010 at 9:39 pm
BlakeAndrue BRONZE, Coachella, California
1 article 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You never know how STRONG you are until being strong is your only option." ~ Pastor Eddie James Windsor

thanks! it means alot to me that you took time to read this! :)

on Oct. 17 2010 at 7:43 am
deus-ex-machina14 BRONZE, Stewartsville, New Jersey
1 article 0 photos 439 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There are two main tragedies in life. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it." -Oscar Wilde

I love this!! Suspenseful and very mysterious, great job!!