Macaroni MAG

March 30, 2010
By thewriteidea DIAMOND, Pleasanton, California
thewriteidea DIAMOND, Pleasanton, California
67 articles 0 photos 336 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't cry that it's over, smile because it has happened."


Usually when something bad happens, you can feel it. You can feel it tingling in your bones; you can feel it creeping up your spine; you can feel it tugging at the depths inside you, nudging every nerve to beware, anything could happen. But tonight, in the moonless, breezeless, noiseless dusk of my neighborhood, there is nothing. I feel nothing, I see nothing, I hear nothing. But through the soul of the nothingness, the silence screams at me the loudest.

Although I can't hear him, I know my little brother, Bob, is playing with his toy truck in the next room. My parents half-willingly left me in charge for the evening, and I half-willingly accepted. It isn't my ideal night. The fall weather seems to be settling in, and the sun had rested far beyond the mountains before I had the chance to make Bob's and my favorite meal: macaroni and cheese.

I step from the open window where I had been standing, not feeling any air, and enter the kitchen to start boiling the water. I call for Bob and he comes in, his truck cradled in his arms, and sits on a bar stool.

“You're making macaroni, Jamie?” Bob asks, like a puppy begging for a treat.

I smile, turning the stove to simmer. “I have to go get the box from the pantry,” I say to him. “Don't touch the stove. It's hot!” He nods, but I'm not sure he heard me since he's completely engrossed in making vroom noises with his truck.

I wander back into the pantry, which is separate from the kitchen. Now where is that macaroni? I crouch to look when suddenly and unconsciously, I stand up.

I hear a faint sound like someone calling, the silence beckoning for help. I feel deep inside, the feeling that something is going wrong, terribly wrong. From my scalp to my toes, everything twitches, trying to send me a signal. Everything around me goes blurry, but my fuzzy vision barely impairs me as I race back to the kitchen. The empty bar stool screams at me, shrieks in my ears, pierces every bone in my body.

“Bob!” I call, my voice echoing through the house. “Bob!” Something flickers in my peripheral vision. I whip my head around to see an object in the pool in my backyard. And although I know the situation is urgent, something holds me back. Fear? Apprehension? Terror?

I can feel my pulse through every vein in my body, beating harder with each second. I place my hand on the doorknob leading out to the backyard and push it open, scanning the yard.

When my eyes land on the pool, I feel a sense of insanity thrust upon me. There is my brother, floating facedown, his toy truck bobbing next to him. I feel my knees grow weak as I struggle to remain vertical.

I race to the nearest phone and dial 911, my fingers moving robotically. I sit in silence and solitude while I wait for the police to come, watching the simmering water start to boil, though I have no intention of making the macaroni. Finally, I see the blue and white lights flashing on my street, casting shadows on the other dark houses.

“Don't worry,” the officer says. “I'll find out what happened.” I nod, still in shock. I sit back down and let my head fall into my hands. Not happening. Not happening, I think. But despite my attempt to console myself, it doesn't work. The same thought plays over and over in my head like a broken record. Gone. Dead. My brother Bob, so young and now in the pool, so dead.

I feel the cop's presence behind me and I turn. “W-what did you find out?” I stutter, staring at the pot of water that's boiling higher and higher with each moment.

“Oh, not much,” he answers nonchalantly.

He starts to open the macaroni box and I ask, “What are you doing?”

He puts the packet of cheese down and looks up. “I want some macaroni,” he replies in a way that makes me feel like a child. “I wish you had the Sponge Bob kind. He's the best.”

I stare at him blankly, caught up in emotions. I don't know what to feel. He stares back at me, though I can't decipher what he means. Suddenly, I feel it, that strange sensation that something is about to happen, and there is nothing I can do. The tingling in my bones, the electric current racing up my spine, the fact that I know deep inside that this is wrong, he is wrong, and I am completely helpless.

I spin around and race for the door. But he's too fast. “Where are you going, Jamie?” he asks. He gets right in my face, so close I can feel his breath, smelling vaguely like macaroni and cheese. “I'm making this macaroni specially for you and the loss you suffered tonight. It'd be rude to leave.” I can hear the sarcasm in his voice and can feel the danger everywhere on my body, yet I already feel like a corpse.

“Let me go.” I struggle, breathless.

“Not likely,” he whispers. “Now have some macaroni.”

Before I can even register his words, heat consumes my entire body. I feel a jolt of electricity and silence envelops my world. Then everything goes black.



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This article has 57 comments.


on Nov. 4 2015 at 2:37 pm
linds.ann BRONZE, Plaquemine, Louisiana
3 articles 0 photos 3 comments
The introduction to your short story is beautiful. “Usually when something bad happens, you can feel it. You can feel it tingling in your bones; you can feel it creeping up your spine; you can feel it tugging at the depths inside you, nudging every nerve to beware, anything could happen.” The descriptions are incredible here. I was able imagine the sensation perfectly without trouble. Also, the title “Macaroni” was an excellent choice. It was different and made your story stick out to me. You are truly a brilliant writer.

on Nov. 11 2014 at 7:30 pm
TaylorWintry DIAMOND, Carrollton, Texas
72 articles 0 photos 860 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby." - Unknown

Wow. Incredible. Crazy that you could write this all of off a food... What was your inspiration for this anyway? I really liked how the last and first paragraphs tied together and basically said the same thing. I've tried that technique before in some of my writing, but it's never come out as well as yours did. The only thing that I found weird was 1. Why did she freak out so badly when she saw he was missing? Was it because she was already feeling weird that night? 2. Why did she not pick the poor boy out of the pool? He could've just been unconscious and getting him out could've saved him. But I guess that would take away from the horror aspect. Anyway, good job. Really enjoyable.

on Sep. 13 2013 at 4:28 pm
JoyMason PLATINUM, Arapahoe, Nebraska
25 articles 0 photos 51 comments

Favorite Quote:
You, he who subdued me, be not insolent, forget not the beauty of virtue.

*shocked* i really really liked this, but ... wow wow i can't register this yet, but this is amazing. the cop shoved her face in it right? that's what i'm getting from the end.

J1029 SILVER said...
on Dec. 4 2012 at 9:41 pm
J1029 SILVER, Tampa, Florida
5 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sing like no one is listening,
Dance like no one is watching,
Love like you've never been hurt and
Live like it's heaven on earth.

- Mark Twain

I like the beginning, but 1. Why didn't she grab him out of the pool? 2. It takes a long time to completly drown and i think kids sink not float and 3. what happened with the cop? I think with some questions answers it could be really awesome. The beginning is great. 4 stars :)

jojo321 said...
on Oct. 25 2012 at 5:04 pm
jojo321, California, Florida
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments
i dont get the end  

on Sep. 14 2012 at 7:33 pm
LunaSlate SILVER, Rogers, Minnesota
5 articles 0 photos 17 comments
IS THERE A PART II?!?!?!?!? that's it. i've said what i need to. it's just that when she gets kidnapped by a cop and you don't tell what happens makes me squirm.;)

on Jul. 10 2012 at 11:55 am
polar-icecap DIAMOND, Sioux Falls, South Dakota
57 articles 20 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Angels don't even come close to you!"

I L-O-V-E your story. It's so suspenseful. It is really cool that you went into details. My one thought was how the boy ended up in the pool. It would take quite a bit of noise to either drown him in the pool, or kill him before. You would have at least heard a scream. But otherwise I love your story. it's so original, and even though people keep saying they don't like the ending and that you should change it, I disagree. I think it seems to be the best ending to this story. It just makes sense to end a story like this that way. :D 5 stars!

on Apr. 13 2012 at 12:45 pm
I loved the sensory detail at the start of the story. When you describe how still and silent it is, it really sets the mood for the story. Great Work!

Dynamo DIAMOND said...
on Apr. 1 2012 at 2:33 pm
Dynamo DIAMOND, Lahore, Other
54 articles 0 photos 64 comments

Favorite Quote:
I used to think falling in love would be personal. But it's all a big public show.

Well, i have to say this, i was totally AMAZED! brilliant work, and you deserve to be applauded.

kassija said...
on Feb. 29 2012 at 12:49 pm
kassija, Russian Town, Other
0 articles 0 photos 4 comments

that was soo amazing!!!

i am totally amazed!


randomman said...
on Feb. 7 2012 at 11:17 am
that story was awesome i want to read more

on Jan. 16 2012 at 6:11 pm
lzcelloplayer BRONZE, Wayland, Massachusetts
2 articles 0 photos 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It seems that we all look at Nature too much, and live with her too little." ~ Oscar Wilde

This piece was awesome! I absolutely was glued to the page the whole time. I think the title was also really well thought out. Most definitely rating it 5 out of 5! :D

on Dec. 30 2011 at 10:21 pm
FaultyStars SILVER, Ottawa, Other
6 articles 1 photo 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." - Maya Angelou

Loved it! You set the mood really well.

on Oct. 23 2011 at 10:25 am
DayDreaamer BRONZE, Raleigh, North Carolina
1 article 0 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Liar liar. Plants for hire!" -Patrick, from Spongebob XD

He puts the packet of cheese down and looks up. “I want some macaroni,” he replies in a way that makes me feel like a child. “I wish you had the Sponge Bob kind. He's the best.”

^^ Um, Wow... That's not weird a all o.O

 

Omg I LOVE your story, It is so well-written and I really like the details and suspision :O 5 STARSSSS :D


on Oct. 22 2011 at 6:01 pm
AnonymousKLM BRONZE, Carlsbad, California
1 article 1 photo 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
When you look at a person, any person, remember that everyone has a story. Everyone has gone through something that has changed them. - Mark Twain

Good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions. - Robin Hood

This was so good. 

Apeggy BRONZE said...
on Oct. 20 2011 at 11:17 am
Apeggy BRONZE, Albion, New York
3 articles 0 photos 42 comments

Favorite Quote:
A.B.D"A Beautiful Dream"

haha i;m not sure why people are so confused i completly understood. Great story! That was such an unthinkable and ironic twist! I loved it!

xkatex BRONZE said...
on Sep. 28 2011 at 3:47 pm
xkatex BRONZE, Phoenix, Arizona
1 article 2 photos 2 comments
im confused what happend to the kid and whats with the cop?

evie313 said...
on Sep. 28 2011 at 12:11 pm
evie313, Fayetteville, North Carolina
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Dont swear on the moon, because it is always changing."

I'm confused about the whole cop thing... I just wish you would have gone a little more in depth and had a better ending... Good story though...

on Aug. 15 2011 at 2:59 pm
DarkPandaAngel GOLD, Camp Hill, Pennsylvania
14 articles 2 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
"How dreadful" Cedric Diggory in A Very Potter Musical
"Ello puppet." Pirates of the Carribean

Wow this is great! I was hopping off of my seat while I was reading. I like how you ended it. Great story.

DarkPandaAngel


on Aug. 15 2011 at 12:53 pm
Fangstorm_The_Vampire GOLD, Tehachapi, California
15 articles 1 photo 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
It's a bird!
It's a midget!
NO. it's...... EDWARD ELRIC.

DUDE! FREAKING AWESOME! (and scary)


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