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Buried Deep ch.1

I didn't know then whether it was fantasy or reality. What was the difference now anyway...after all I was living both. I belonged to the reality of this world, yet longed for the fantasy of another. For an instant it felt almost like it was the opposite. This reality and all else simply my imagination. Maybe that’s where we got the phrase, “Once upon a time.” After all these moments only happened in our imagination. The fairytales we were told as children though pointless made us all dream of a better tomorrow. We look to them in time where comfort is far away.

When will I return to that world I left so long ago. I don't even really remember it. What was it like? Are my friends and family worried that I won’t return? Or do they even realize that I left? I pondered these questions while staring through my cracked window into reality. A voice spoke, “they know, and they are worried. Do you want to go back?” I was startled. I didn't think I had said the words aloud. You didn't, the voice spoke again. Who’s there I thought, hoping that I wasn't going insane.
Don't worry youre not insane, just in a strange state of mind for newcomers.

But how did i get here, i pleaded with the voice. You don't know, it said while mocking me. No I don't, should I, again asking the voice. Well usually that is the case. But then again you are a strange one you are. Oh I'm strange, youre the one who is talking inside my head and wont tell me how in the world i got to this place. By the way, what exactly is this place? This place as you call it is your imagination, and I'm not inside your head. I’m in your heart. My what... and what do you mean youre in my heart? Your imagination, ever heard of it? I am your feeling but are unwilling to accept for yourself. Well yeah, but still, i though this was some sort of place for people who were going insane. No, imagination is no place for insanity.

Our bantering back and forth went on forever or so it had seemed. Then I had a magnificently brilliant thought, wait I’m talking to myself, I must be insane. Don’t be silly the voice said daringly, you’re not insane you just never really let me into your life before now. What, that doesnt make sense, what does now have to do with then?

Our bantering back and forth went on forever or so it had seemed. Then I had a magnificently brilliant thought, wait I’m talking to myself, I must be insane. Don’t be silly the voice said daringly, you’re not insane you just never really let me into your life before now. What, that doesn’t make sense, what does now have to do with then? Well if you don't know, without the past we wouldn't have the present, and without the past and present we wouldn't have the future. I hated the way it always sounded so conceded and as a matter-a-factly. I know you do, that’s why I tell you it as so, remember I am you, and you love to tease people, but yet can’t take teasing yourself. Fine what do I have to do in order to leave this place? Oh I feel hurt, but if you really want to leave, you must figure out why it is that you either do or don't want to return.

"Oh is that all, I want to go back because of my friends, family, and my life. Shouldn't there be some poof that sends me back,” I asked with my eyes closed. Really, you think its that easy. Well, I did until you said that. Sorry, sorry...just you have to think about what you would leave behind in both cases. Would you miss this place and all it has to offer, but if you stayed would you miss your life, friends, and family more? That is the question you have to ask. I never really thought about it like that, I realized. You did, you just didnt dig deep enough to find the answer. Ok, this whole not having to speak to communicate with you, kinda creepy. Especially since you don't have a body. Don't think of it as creepy, but rather an easy way to talk to me and know that I will always be here.

Ok so it's easy to talk to you, but i still don't see why i cant leave. I wouldn't be leaving anything here. You mean other than me, which is a part of yourself. Oh, I guess that's true. I never really thought about it like that, and really I mean it. Our conversation ended and i went off to be by myself as i added up pros and cons in leaving.





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