Cabin Corruption REVISED EDITION! | Teen Ink

Cabin Corruption REVISED EDITION!

October 9, 2009
By Maddie Hearn SILVER, Lake Oswego, Oregon
Maddie Hearn SILVER, Lake Oswego, Oregon
6 articles 0 photos 14 comments

The train made a rickety sound against the tracks, the ride seemed endless. We carried a steady pace now. The pine trees passed by outside my window and somewhere a fox awakened in the forest, now venturing out to catch its prey. The stars shimmered in the night, glistening against the murky, black backdrop of darkness that surrounded me in my cabin. I hugged my legs close to my chest and cried silent tears for those who had been murdered on this miserable ride. I flattened out my gray tank top and firmly placed my night light snug in the outlet. I was playing with the straight, long, blonde strands of hair that lay upon my shoulder when something caught my eye. Glimmering in the luminescence of my cabin light was Jen’s locket. Even in the blackness I could make out the gold, heart pendant and the sparkly chain from which it hung. It truly was a beauty. Paranoia set in and I set my alarm clock for 4:30. With a murderer roaming among these cabins any time awake was a safer time. I buried myself underneath my covers as if I were five again and soon fall fast asleep. ---------

Something was next to me. I could feel it, a heaving breath heavy on my cheek. I clenched my fists together and my palms began to sweat more and more with each second. Thoughts raced through my mind. Who is it? Is it the murderer? Am I next? I gulped. I feared opening my eyes. I promised myself I’d keep them shut and feign sleep. Silently, futilely I tried to switch my night light on. It wasn’t there. I fumbled in the dark. Had it burned out? Had it fallen? I am deathly afraid of the dark. How did it come unplugged? My heart thumped fast in my chest and my hands were wet with sweat. My body felt hot, like I had a fever. Anxiety is quite the killer. For what felt like an eternity, I twisted my head over to the side where the person stood. I slowly blinked my eyes open. When I opened my eyes I caught the glisten of a locket, Jen?!? Jen loomed above me, glaring into my eyes as if feeding off of my terror. I shuddered, she appeared much less scary in the light, I thought to myself.

I brought a hand to my eye and within seconds Jen grabbed my wrist and twisted. My hair stood on ends as a jolt of intense pain seethed through my body. I winced.

“Let go.” A loud whisper was all I could croak out . My eyes pleaded with her, searching for some weakness.

Jen grinned to herself. “Silly, naïve Meredith.” She let go, and her grin turned into a grimace. I brought both of my arms close to my chest as tears welled up in my eyes. Jen snarled and threw off the covers to my bed. She pushed me off and I clunked to the cold, unwelcoming floor. I stood up in an effort to compose myself. I found myself back where I had begun and Jen pushed me down with her feet.

“Would you look at who’s on top now Mer.” She bent down to my level. “With you and the others dead, I’ll be number one. I can see the headlines now,” Jen explained with a sense of pride, “town’s valedictorian goes missing on class trip while four others are found dead.”

Four others? There were only three other bodies. My hands slipped on the floor as I angrily stood up. I looked down upon them, fresh blood. I spun my head around and to my dismay I realized that it was not from a laceration I had sustained, but from something else. Someone else. Will Morava. There he was, lying down behind me, dead. I cringed, stood up and with tears streaming down my face wiped my hands on Jen and shoved her into the bed post. She regained balance after suffering a less than fatal fall.

“Why?” I croaked, “why me, why the others?”

“You’ve always been in my way. After I’m done here, it’ll look like you were the culprit.”

I bit my lip nervously, “Oh really?” I said tying my hair back, regaining confidence to speak, “and how’s that?”

“You’ll be dead, you won’t need to know.” Jen grinned triumphantly as if her plan had already been carried out with success. Too bad she had underestimated me. I needed to stall for time and somehow escape my own death.

“You sicken me,” she said abruptly, “you think you can have it all, but I’m finally going to prove that it doesn’t work out for poor little daddy’s girl, Meredith Reed. You’ll look like the culprit for the murders, once you go ‘missing’. All I have to do is mention
how I saw you escaping out the window and you threatened to kill me if I told.”

“Oh please, you can’t frame me unless you kill me and you haven’t even achieved that,” I stuttered. Jen looked away from me and reached under her pillow. A gun was drawn out and I shook with fear. I must have a better end than this. Right? I bolted for the door. That villain didn’t even attempt to stop me. My fingers slipped on the handle as I came to the realization I was so stupid to miss. It was locked, but from the outside. Jen had been working with someone. Who? I spun around as Jen’s eyes narrowed. Only one of us was going to come out of this alive. From the looks of it, it was looking pretty good for the girl with the gun.


The author's comments:
This is the revised edition. Disreguard the other one.

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 4 comments.


on Jan. 1 2010 at 10:27 pm
Maddie Hearn SILVER, Lake Oswego, Oregon
6 articles 0 photos 14 comments
Yeah! I'll start writing the next chapters! Happy New Year!

on Dec. 31 2009 at 9:15 pm
abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz BRONZE, Riverside, Connecticut
1 article 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly."

No problem, good idea too! Can’t wait for the next installment! (Please?) Happy New Years!

on Dec. 30 2009 at 6:31 pm
Maddie Hearn SILVER, Lake Oswego, Oregon
6 articles 0 photos 14 comments
well, i guess i havent really figured all tha out yet. haha sorry! its up for interpretation, but im open to suggestions! i guess the killer, jen, woudl probably be working with some one mentioned earlier in the book,, or idk!! as a mystery writer i was taught never to kill your sleuth, which would be meredith, so somehow she would live, i was thinking of maybe adding a twist if i were to write more, but i wanted to see if perople would be interested enough to want to read more, so!? haha but thanks for commenting i appreciate it!!!!!!

-MaddieH.

on Dec. 30 2009 at 4:39 pm
abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz BRONZE, Riverside, Connecticut
1 article 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly."

It was good, with a few mistakes. Who was she working with and who lived???