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Sleepless in Seattle

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The banging at the door disturbs his sleep
He tries to ignore it and continue his slumber but the cries outside the door are too loud
He awakes and slowly opens the door with caution
He peeks out but sees no one
He goes back to bed and closes his eyes
His peace is only temporary
The cries start again
He screams and demands an identification of the tortured soul outside
But no one answers
He covers his pillow over his ears but the racket grows louder
He once again exits the bed and approaches the door
With fear in his eyes he opens the door and still sees no one
Guilt still remains in his heart from what happened the night before
He went out with his friends
Had a few drinks

Got into his car and drove home
A few blocks from his home his impaired vision disguised the road
He swerved to his left hitting a little girl
She died
He drove off in a panic and went home
He realized why he was being tortured by the screams
A week went by
The screams continued
He contemplated on what he should do
He considered suicide
But was too afraid to die
He stayed with his brother in Florida
The screams followed him
He understood what he needed to do
Broken spirited and sleep deprived he went to his local police station
They were apparently looking for him
He plead guilty to his crime
Those screams are quiet now
He now sleeps peacefully in his jail cell



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This article has 4 comments. Post your own!

Zero_K This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 6, 2009 at 1:59 pm:
I love the plot, but this was written (format-wise) more like a poem. Though I found the story immensly good, I kept getting frustrated by it's lack of punctuation and that distracted me from your work. For a first in the genre, excellent work. You definitely have potential.
-Blessed Be!
+++ZERO+++
 
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williamsn said...
Oct. 1, 2009 at 6:44 pm:
This piece was remarkable. As soon as I started reading this my attention was completely on this. It kept my attention the whole way through, especially from, "The banging at the door..." to "...opens the door and still sees nothing." I am glad the man who killed the little girl felt ashamed of himself and turned himself in where it said, "Broken spirited and sleep deprived he went to his local police station. They were apparently looking for him. He plead guilty to hi... (more »)
 
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williamsn said...
Oct. 1, 2009 at 6:29 pm:
This piece was remarkable. As soon as I started reading this my attention was completely on this. It kept my attention the whole way through, partially because I am sure this has happened numerous times before in real life. I am glad the man who killed the little girl felt ashamed of himself and turned himself in, as he should have done in the first place. I would love to read more pieces from this author. This was, by far, my favorite story on this site.
 
André P. replied...
Oct. 13, 2009 at 8:52 pm :
Thank you oh so very much for those who appreciated this work
god bless
 
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