Discoveries (an excerpt for "the eye") | Teen Ink

Discoveries (an excerpt for "the eye")

September 7, 2009
By hannahbee7 DIAMOND, Boca Raton, Florida
hannahbee7 DIAMOND, Boca Raton, Florida
67 articles 1 photo 65 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You know you’re a writer if your friend tells you a heartbreaking story and your first reaction is – wow, that would make an incredible plot for a novel. You know you’re a smart writer if you manage to keep that reaction to yourself."


“Hey girls!” my dad called, walking into the kitchen where my mom stood washing dishes. “Bailey, honey, how’s your day been?”
Mom glanced up then wiped her hands on a dish towel. Still holding the dish towel ,she turned and hugged him, pressing her hands into his toned chest. “Mmmm. It’s been wonderful!”
Dad grinned, and then looked around. Noticing my absence, he questioned mother. “Where’s Annie?” he asked.
Mom smiled. “Oh, she’s in the attic. You know, looking for pictures of Milly or something.” (Little did they know, I was watching their every move).
Dad didn’t return the smile. In fact, his jaw dropped in shock. “She’s doing what?” He asked, his face the picture of disbelief.
Mom stopped watching the dishes, and again turned to face him. “Is there a problem?”
With a tone of impatience dad lowered his voice to a practically inaudible whisper, although he and mom were the only ones in the room. “Listen Bailey, you know what we keep in that attic. If Annie found it… I don’t even want to think of what would happen!”
“She won’t find it” Mom sighed.
I shook where I stood. This was turning into quite the mystery!
“We can’t take our chances” my father said in an upset tone.
“Dave… don’t do this again.”
“Do what?”
“Freak out like this.”
Dad was unhappy. “ Oh I’m freaking out? Me? You’re the one who insisted we move to the middle of nowhere. All to keep Annie safe! Do you realize what danger you’re putting her life in?”
At this point I had had enough. I could have handled that entire conversation, but the fact that my way of life was just a web, built up around me to protect me from the truth? That’s too much for anyone to handle, much less a fifteen year old girl.
But of course I had to keep listening. It’s only natural to be curious, and despite all common sense, I kept watching.


The author's comments:
this is A small part from a novel I wrote.

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This article has 6 comments.


AsIAm PLATINUM said...
on Aug. 23 2010 at 6:04 pm
AsIAm PLATINUM, Somewhere, North Carolina
48 articles 3 photos 606 comments

Favorite Quote:
"According to some, heroic deaths are admirable things. (Generally those who don't have to do it. Politicians and writers spring to mind.) I've never been convinced by this argument, mainly because, no matter how cool, stylish, composed, unflappable, manly, or defiant you are, at the end of the day you're also dead. Which is a little too permanent for my liking." — Jonathan Stroud (Ptolemy's Gate)

O.M.G.!!!!! It was awesome!!!  You better be planning on putting more up - or you may have to deal with an exploded reader. O_o  JK, but I am dying to read more!  ~AsIAm

on Jun. 18 2010 at 9:13 am
vampiresrock GOLD, Cornish, New Hampshire
12 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life gives you oranges, make grape juice and sit back and let the world wounder how the hell you just did that.

good....what happens?

on Oct. 7 2009 at 5:23 pm
Inkspired PLATINUM, Whitby, Other
26 articles 0 photos 493 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If one will scoff at the study of language, how, save in terms of language, will one scoff?" - Mario Pei
"I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die." Isaac Asimov

This is pretty good, it has potential. The end was kind of confusing- she said she'd had enough, then she said she stayed? Otherwise, this looks like a good book!

LaylaViolet said...
on Sep. 23 2009 at 12:02 pm
Whoa. Totally amazazing! I really hope you get published. I so want to read The Eye. Good Luck fellow writer; check out my stuff so I can be like you! You're a really great writer. Keep up the good work! :D

on Sep. 22 2009 at 4:41 pm
hannahbee7 DIAMOND, Boca Raton, Florida
67 articles 1 photo 65 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You know you’re a writer if your friend tells you a heartbreaking story and your first reaction is – wow, that would make an incredible plot for a novel. You know you’re a smart writer if you manage to keep that reaction to yourself."

Thank you very much, don't worry I will!

on Sep. 22 2009 at 4:35 pm
CandieApple PLATINUM, Hartford, Wisconsin
29 articles 0 photos 90 comments

Favorite Quote:
The world is a stage, and we are merely players- Shakespeare (at least it goes something like that!!)

I liked it! I want to hear more from The Eye so I know what they were hiding her from!!! Please, this is very interesting.