Lunar Abyss | Teen Ink

Lunar Abyss

September 27, 2018
By Katey_1030 SILVER, San Jacinto, California
Katey_1030 SILVER, San Jacinto, California
7 articles 2 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
Stars can’t shine without darkness


She stood there, staring out into the soft rays of moonlight. Her soft raven black curls dance in the wind. Her nude lips curved into a wave of a smile as her eyes twinkled like a thousands stars singing the the night. Her maroon dress hugs her body while past her knees it waves in the wind. Her fair skin looks like a beautiful pearl in the space blue of the night. She slowly raised her gentle arms to her chest as the rubbed the golden locket. Her heart raced as the smile grew some more. She looked down at her locket as she glanced over to her left hand and saw the beautiful ring that perfectly hugged her ring finger. Her fiance, a whispers of thoughts in her head, sat and waited for her by their spot in the forest that she read through the note left on her dash of her car.

She started to slowly tread towards the trees of the forest as she swayed her head back and forth, being as happy as she ever could be. She let her arms slip down to her sides as she softly sang a song in the whispers of the wind, “I've been pacing around my room. Thinking about how I like the color blue. It reminds me of you and you got me thinking about all of your freckles and the corners of your mouth. I like your kisses and I wish that you were here. All the time I got you on my mind; all I do reminds me of you.” She raised her left hand as she let it graze the trees she walked by, with the soft moss and fuzzy wood. She took her right hand as she let it run through the soft, silky hair that was hers as she gently leaned back and forth with each step she took. Every now and then the moonlight will glimpse her raven hair and light up her path. When she looked at her pathway it was dark with the halos of light from the moonlight peeking through the holes of the trees. She wasn’t scared though because she could hear the little birds chipping which made her feel very comfortable because she has walked down this path so many times that it’s ingrained into her memory.

She reached the lake with the stepping stones that sang to her in the bath of the light from the moon who showered over it. Her smile grew in the light of the lunar abyss. She walked up as the water strutted in its spotlight of the singing moon, blessing the water with crystal like colors. She hopped on the each step with one foot at a time with her arms raised to her face like porcelain, perfect, as she tried to keep her balance over the clinging water. She softy landed in the little island in the middle of the lake as a huge, lifeless tree stands strongly over the island, casting a shadow of mystery. She slowly walked over to the tree and sat there, laying her body against the old wood as it slowly creeks; she loosens her muscles. She closes her eyes as she listens to the sounds around her like a lullabye. She heard footsteps as she quickly jumped up and looked across the stones to the other side to see her love with a huge smile on her face.

No one was there. Her smile faded as she goes to turn back to the tree. Once she turns the tree was gone and she took a step back. She didn’t understand where it went when it was right there! It was right there in front of her as she brings her right hand to her head and clings on to her hair like a baby needing a mother. She walks over to where the tree she rested on disappeared. She kept on turning round and round, think and wondering. Out of nowhere, there was her fiance right in front of her smiling. A cry shoots out of her mouth as she rushes over to him and clings onto him as her tears drip down her face and soaks into his shirt. She held him close to her as her eyes widen and a gasp came from her mouth. She slowly lifts up her head to look up at him and she sees a wicked smile on his face as the rest of it was covered by shadow. She falls backward like a stick falling as she reaches out to him. She saw a bloody knife that was tense in his hand. She collapses as her right arm is next to her head, her legs are curled ever so slightly, and her left arm was slightly away from the left side of her body. Her eyes went lifeless as her lips slightly were parted. Her body was warm still but she looked cold. As the the thick ruby red pooled around her and her hair fell around her like a halo of darkness and yet like an angel taken to early. She softly heard him laughing as her last breath left her. The moon shined down on her in the blissful night in the forest. She never gave a scream but you would hear her wallows in the trees. She looked like a porcelain doll and acted like one now, stiff and lifeless. She was left in the cold, only to know the light, the lunar abyss that surrounded her and helped her to the afterlife.


The author's comments:

This was just a short horror article from mystry and love. You can't always be blinded by love.


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This article has 4 comments.


on Mar. 14 at 5:21 pm
amforeman06 BRONZE, Jefferson, Georgia
1 article 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
Per aspera ad astra- Author Unknown
(Latin for "Through hardship to the stars")

I think that "nude lips", though a given, is a beautiful way to describe it. The only thing that I'm going to say is that I agree with Imagin8er, she's too perfect. If you were to add some hurt, some lust, something to give her some sort of dark persona, I would love it. Maybe give her some bodily flaw as well, just to make it a little stranger, some dark scar that maybe is the cause of this night. Maybe this whole thing is just a memory, one she still remembers as the tip of the dagger pierces her skin, her life slowly seeping out of her delicate body...

on Nov. 6 2018 at 8:43 pm
Imagin8er BRONZE, Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin
2 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be peaceful, be courteous, obey the law; but if someone puts a hand on you, send him to the cemetery." - Malcolm X

Good, but I love giving constructive criticism...
First, you don't need to say "nude" lips. That's a given.
Second, you need to add some sort of conflict or scar earlier on. You describe her as this beautiful, perfect, happy person and that immediately made me both annoyed and skeptical. This made most of the story, even though the description was awesome, completely boring.
Literally everything else in the story was good, though.

Megumeme said...
on Oct. 31 2018 at 11:23 am
Megumeme, Westfield, Indiana
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
A very well written story with a wonderful and quick progression. There were a few issues with the tenses such as switching occasionally between past and present as well as one or two run-on sentences, but other than that, I absolutely loved it.

on Oct. 11 2018 at 1:37 pm
Hermione-Granger BRONZE, Bethel Park, Pennsylvania
4 articles 0 photos 194 comments
This was beautifully written, and you did such a great job with descriptions. I always love when people put lots of detail in their writing, and you did great!


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