Free Thalia | Teen Ink

Free Thalia

January 25, 2017
By Anonymous


I often find myself in and out of trouble, I practically live in the principal's office. This time isn't any different, except I have to talk to the school counselor, I already have a therapist and do not want to talk to any school counselor. But it beats another Saturday school.
School Counselor:
“Here it says that you hate Johnny, who is Johnny?  
Nick (Main Character): 
“Johnny is an idiot, and yes I hate him. God do I hate johnny. You could tell by looking at him but johnny is an idiot. I have never liked johnny, since the first day I laid eyes on the dumb son of a b**** I knew that I would hate him, and I do a lot. Johnn Jameson Johnson is his full name, Johnny FREAKING Johnson is this stupid idiot's name. Even his name is stupid, I mean who names their kid; Johnn with two n’s especially when their last name is literally johnson. As you can tell his parents are as dumb as he is, if not dumber. I despise them as well, they always invite themselves to everything and they smell terrible.
Counselor:
oh boy, not another one of these appointments
“So you hate him because you think that he's not intelligent and he has a different name, is that it?”  
Nick:
“Ohhhhh but wait there's more!” (Nick says with a sarcastic grin). “Every time I see any member of the stupid johnson family I just want to throw the hell up. Johnny is a tall hunchback with a gut. He's got more zits and moles than anyone that I have ever seen before, and he stinks really freaking bad like cigarette smoke and sweat. I mean this dude really reeks! He always has on this filthy leather jacket that is clearly too small for him and the same stupid lime green beanie. He is also always wearing either some stupid superhero t-shirt and pajama pants or the occasional pair of dirty sweatpants” (Nick leans in), “but only on special occasions”
(The Counselor drifts off and watches the clock on his desk, as the numbers climb up from nine o'clock to ten o'clock as Nick continues to talk in the background)
Nick:
“To top it all off he wears these stupid, clumpy, contaminated, red, DC skate shoes, they have holes and rips all over them, they are literally tearing off of his feet with each duck footed step that he takes. He looks like that one kid in elementary school who never quite understood how to dress himself.”
Counselor:
“Hey Nick” … (he is cut off)
Nick:
“Have I mentioned his crazy parents yet?”
The counselor stares , expressionless.
Nick:
“His parents have an equally terrible sense of fashion. His father Richie has shaved red hair with a huge bald spot in the middle of his head. He always wears some kind of Detroit tigers shirt that is always way too tight which exposes his disgusting massive gut. And crawls into the waistband of his pants. If it's summer time he will wear jean shorts and athletic sandals every day, if it's winter he will wear blue jeans with a white pair of New Balances. He also always has a can of beer, that always seems to sweat in the filthy grip if his hand. Johnny's mother; Linda wears some kind of grandma sweater with mom yoga pants and crocs, with her fat feet poking out of all of the holes. She is almost always wearing crocs and they almost match the stupid coloring in her hair that seems to change to an even uglier color every month or so. His brother dresses the same as johnny except he has fewer zits and no leather jacket,” (He puts his hand on his by his mouth and whispers;) “even though it would probably fit him better.”
(The counselor looks attentively with his mouth shut waiting for more shots to be fired from Nick's mouth.)
Nick:
“His sister Thalia is a whole different story, she is beautiful and super smart. I don't get how she turned out so well, compared to the rest of her family.
Counselor:
“YES! That's good! Talk about that!” (the counselor blares out, while almost falling out of his chair.)
Nick:
“I have had a crush on her for years, but for some reason, I can't ever talk to her. Plus her dad is extremely protective of her, he may be an idiot but he is very defensive when it comes to thalia, but who wouldn't be she is amazing. She's got long brown hair that turns to a pretty blonde at the bottom. She's around five foot six with an athlete's body. She plays soccer and volleyball and is crazy fast, faster than I am, like a short white girl version of Usain Bolt  She has a great sense of style unlike the rest of her family. The best thing is that she's not dumb nor is she weird, she is actually kind of a genius, probably one of the smartest girls in our school, and she is popular as well. She is pretty shy and quiet, not awkward, but just quiet and I think it's adorable.”
Counselor:
“so why don't you ask her out?”
Nick:
“I don't know how I could talk to her and plus, I have a girlfriend Melissa but we kind of hate each other. Right now we are on a “break”, whatever that means.



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