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Nerd is the Word - Seattle
(One day later, in Seattle, Washington.)
Dylan: You guys get off here. I’m going to AppleCon ‘16.
Evan: Where is AppleCon? No, better questions: What and why?
Dylan: Right next to the donut store. And I’d rather go there than be seen in an blue monkey costume.
Ryan: You’re not a blue monkey, you’re Nightcrawler. We’re going as the X-Men.
(Ryan is seen as Cyclops, Evan as Gambit, Lewis as Iceman, Christian as Wolverine, and Khalil as Colossus.)
Dylan: Still, I’m not going, you know I’m not into comic books. You can give my ticket to someone else. I’ve got other things to do...
Evan: But YOU were the one that suggested we go, THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS TRIP! That and avoiding the Mafia.
Dylan: That was just to get Ryan to stop complaining.
Ryan: I heard that!
(Dylan sighs and throws a comic book at Ryan. They arrive at the convention center. Everyone except Dylan exit the bus in their costumes.)
Lewis: WOO-HOO! CHAOS!
(All exit one-by-one and Evan is the last but turns and tells Dylan something.)
Evan: This convention ends at 11, but we’ll call you when we’re ready to go.
Dylan: No problem!
(Scene cuts to the convention, where it strongly resembles ComicCon with people in superhero and villain costumes running around.)
Ryan: This is gonna be awesome!
(Scene cuts to Master Gulio hearing the police report from his radio in a distance from the convention center.)
Policeman (Dallas): If you see six nerds illegally driving an RV, lock them up immediately.
Policeman (Phoenix): Yeah, they also destroyed a privately-owned warehouse.
Policeman (Dallas): One has also killed several people in an illegal fighting tournament.
Policeman (Seattle): Alright. I’ll look for them at Comic-Center. They GOTTA be there.
Master Gulio: So it’s been confirmed….
(Master Gulio drives up to the back of the center and exits the car. He is seen wearing a Red skull-like Mask and a black german warsuit, resembling Avengers/Captain America villain Red Skull. Soon several other mafians find him in the back and rushes up to him.)
Mafian: Sir Magneto, they have entered the building.
Master Gulio: I’m not Magneto, I’m Red Skull. Commander of HYDRA.
Mafian: I thought you didn't like comic books all that much.
Master Gulio: I know, but it's nice to play dress-up once in a while, like for these conventions!
Mafian: Like a little kid?
(Master Gulio gets angry and shoots the Mafia with his pistol. The other Mafians just look at him, he just shrugs.)
Master Gulio: Eh, he was useless anyway.
(Scene cuts to Dylan driving the RV to AppleCon’16, he is listening to the radio when he hears the new report about them.)
News Announcer: Breaking news. If you see six teenagers in an RV driving in the Seattle area, please take notice. Six high school dropouts named Ryan, Khalil, Evan, Lewis, Dylan, and Christian from Suffolk has been sighted around by several locals. But the problem is that they responsible for malevolent crimes such as destroying a public tunnel in South Carolina, killing people in an illegal fighting tournament in Texas, the destruction of a warehouse in Arizona, and shopping lifting and purchasing with stolen money.
Dylan: WHAT? That money was STOLEN?! I KNEW something wasn't right at that tournament. THAT and the methhead getting that butthole tattoo. And who was shoplifting-... CHRISTIAN!!!
New Announcer: So if you see any of these criminals in your area, call the police immediately.
(The news broadcast then shift over to sports, and Dylan is just silent for awhile. Then he says..)
Dylan: Well….. I guess AppleCon seems dangerous, now. Comic Center it is!
(Dylan turns around the RV, only for two police cars trail him, notices immediately, and it’s not long until the car’s windows open and release fire.)
Dylan: OH CRAP! Can’t catch a break!
(A chase ensues down the streets of Seattle.)
Dylan: Comic Center…… Where is Comic Center? Come on!
(A policeman sees the RV.)
Policeman: RV down Wayward Street. Send in backup.
Radio Dispatch: Roger. Open fire on the RV.
(Two police cars start chasing the RV. The RV mysteriously stops in the middle of the road.)
Policeman: Come out now!
(Nothing is heard.)
Policeman: Cover fire, I’m going in.
(The policeman enters and searches the RV.)
Policeman: He’s gotta be here somewhere.
(Shows Dylan under the RV crawling out from it and running to Comic-Center, we then cut back to the convention, where the Herd are talking with several other people, whom were dressed as the Avengers.)
Ryan: X-MEN'S BETTER!
Iron Man lookalike: NO WAY! AVENGERS FOREVER!
Evan: I don't them dissassembling several times would make them "forever," would it?
Hulk lookalike: You’d best shut that trap or I'll smash it out!
Lewis: BRING IT! X-MEN! ATTACK!!!!
(A Rumble starts between Evan, Ryan, Lewis, Christian, and Khalil against the other nerds dressed as their enemies. As that occurs, Master Gulio and his Mafia enter from the basement of the center. They kill all the workers there who are packing away spare equipment.)
Master Gulio: NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH BATM- Hey, it’s the Herd!
(Master Gulio notices the nerds, and signals his Mafians to start a shooting in the center, everyone hears the shots and runs away to exit. Then several explosions are heard. However, The Nerds and their rivals don't notice as they are battling.)
Master Gulio: Open fire! Blow it up! No one, especially those killers, will survive!
(Dylan, now seen in his Nightcrawler costume, finally makes it. But he sees the Mafia has taken over.)
Dylan: Oh no…I knew something would go wrong, I just knew it.
(Dylan runs behind a stand to avoid being seen. He tries to think of a plan.)
Dylan: Alright, gotta think of something to convert their attention away! OH! I got it!
(Dylan takes his shoe and throws it to a nearby Mafian, knocking him out, nearby Mafians see this and run to his aid. When they don't see him, Dylan runs over to another stand to catch his breath. He then sees his friends still wrestling with their rivals. He rolls his eyes and gets their attention.)
Dylan: Fellas, what on God’s green earth are you doing? Are you even aware what’s happening?
Ryan: YES! We’re winning the war against the Avengers to see whose the better superhero team!
Dylan: I’m not even going to bother what’s happening, but we have an emergency occurring!
Lewis: *points to Khalil* IT WAS HIS IDEA!
Khalil: Oh yeah, blame the black guy!
(They were arguing to loud, and Master Gulio happens to walk over and notices them talking. He then appears with a devilish grin.)
Master Gulio: Oh this is too easy!
(Master Gulio and his Mafians open fire, they dodge the shots and run away, killing the rival nerds in costumes. They run off, while taking apart their costumes, revealing their regular clothing.)
Evan: *sigh* It was getting hot in this helmet, anyway!
Christian: Okay, we need to either escape, or fight back. What should we do?
Dylan: Get out of here, now!
Lewis: Good! Do any of you know any exits?
Evan: It’s likely the Mafia is blocking all the basic ones? Could there be one in any spare rooms?
Ryan: *from a distance* FOUND IT!
(Everyone turns around and sees Ryan poking his head out in a door labeled “Employees Only!”)
Evan: Oh well!
(Everyone runs to Ryan and goes into the room. It appears to be a storage room with props for future events, is has dim lighting. They are looking around and going through stuff.)
Ryan: Ooh! Shiny!
Dylan: Ah, no mafia, no trouble! Is there a window of some sort?
Evan: I don’t see one here! You guys see anything else?
Lewis: Nah, nothing! HEY! THERE’S ONE!
(Shows a window high above them, showing of the only natural light.)
Christian: So… do you see a ladder in here?
Khalil: A ladder? Does this look like a Home Depot to you?
Lewis: This is a convention center, they hold all sorts of crazy sh!t, so there’s GOTTA be tools here, so why not a ladder?
Dylan: Ether way, I’m getting out of here!
(Evan finds a ladder, and connects it to the window.)
Evan: Alright, who’s first?
(Everyone is silent, then a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock occurs.)
Herd: ROCK PAPER SCISSORS LIZARD SPOCK!
(Dylan and Khalil put out Spock, Evan and Lewis put out Paper, and Ryan and Christian put out Scissors.)
Lewis: HAHA! Paper disproves Spock, me and Evan are left!
Christian: Wait wait, me and Ryan got Scissors, we cut you!
Ryan: WE CUT YOU IN PIECES!
Dylan: Hold up! We got Spock, we break scissors!
Evan: So…. what now?
(Loud baning is heard on the door, inidacting the Mafia knows the nerds are in their.)
Dylan: We all go before we get shot.
(The nerds quickly escape. Master Gulio manages to break in, but finds them gone.)
Master Gulio: Bah, come on!
(The Nerds are running on the streets in a dusk night. Trying to find their RV.)
Evan: So, where’s the RV?
Dylan: The cops searched it.
Lewis: So are you saying our only hideout….that can MOVE is gone?
Dylan: Not gone, I mean, I still have the keys! Maybe they took it to an impound.
Ryan: Is there any impounds around here?
Christian: I guess we’re going on foot then…. without getting shot to oblivion.
(The nerds run for a while, trying to look as civilized as possible, without trying to give away the fact they have an 80% chance in dying from either the Mafia catching them or the cops. Then the scene cuts to them walking like zombies, and then finding an impound...with their RV, the problem is, a police headquarters is next door, and their ordered to find the Nerds.)
Dylan: There it is!
Evan: Our prize…..That’s almost shot up….
Ryan: Ether way it’s STILL a beauty….
Christian: Yeah…..uh oh..
Christian: We’re next to a HQ for cops. So if they find us here, we’re dead meat!
Lewis: Okay, uh…..let me think…..Alright, I think I have an idea! We get someone to distract the cops, while the others start the RV, grab the man, and we ride.
Dylan: Okay. but who?
(Everyone looks at Khalil.)
Khalil: Why are you all looking at the black guy?
Christian: Because the cops are more willing to chase you than any of us.
Khalil: Why can’t any of you guys do it?!
Christian: Come on, would the cops chase RYAN? Would they chase DYLAN? Would they-
Evan: I’ll do it!
Dylan: Alright, it’s settled.
(Evan boldly walks up to the HQ, and starts yelling.)
Evan: HEY POLICE GUYS! ARE YOU TO BUSY STUFFING YOUR MOUTH HOLES WITH DONUTS THAT YOU CAN CATCH US PUNY NERDS?! HUH?!?!
(All the nerds run from Evan as the cops overhear this, they begin to chase after Evan.)
(Evan runs off, and the Nerds go through the fence to head towards the RV, when their out of sight, DV unlocks it and they go in the RV and start it up. Once finished, they drive out the impound to find Evan. Dylan takes the wheel.)
Dylan: Alright! Let’s find Evan! He couldn’t have gone far!
(Dylan drives for a while, but still can’t find Evan. Ryan, Lewis, Christian, and Khalil are looking out their windows to find their friend.)
Christian: Where’d he go?
Ryan: He vanished! That’s trifling!
Khalil: I hope the cops didn't get him!
(We then see from Dylan’s point of view several cops on the ground unconscious, and then we hear a loud thump on the top. The sunroof the opens up to Evan dropping down with a black handband on his head. In his right hand, a rubber chicken. He is showing of some fight moves.)
Evan: WAAH! CHICK-A WAHH! CLUCK-FU!!!
Christian: AHHH! He went CLUCK-FU on those guys!
Dylan: Yeah, go Evan! You’re dominating those cops!
(Outside, several Mafian cars start swarming the RV, the Mafia has returned.)
Lewis: Ah cr@p! These guys won’t quit.
Ryan: We have any guns?
Khalil: I managed to smuggle some in the police station when they went after Evan.
Christian: How’d you do that?
Khalil: Skills. We ALL have them.
Evan: AND I got the power of Cluck-Fu on my side.
Dylan: May the cluck be with you.
(Evan salutes his friends and heads to the sunroof to face the Mafia. When he does, the Mafians take out their guns and begins shooting at Evan. Evan swings his rubber chicken around several times and deflects the bullets. The mafians shoots some more, this time Evan got a new trick up his selve. He swings his chicken around in a torpedo-like style, causing bullets to fly around him and he shoots them all back that the Mafia, doing major damage to the cars. They all lose control and crash into buildings. Christian, Lewis, Khalil are watching this in awe.)
Lewis: …...That’s some crazy sh!t right there……
(Christian, Khalil, and Ryan then remember the guns and they grab their guns and began shooting back at the mafia. Master Gulio is in a mafian car while is seen Ignazio is seen dodging the entire scene and shooting back.)
Master Gulio: This...Ends….NOW!
(Master Gulio takes off his seatbelt and begins to get up.)
Ignazio: What are you doing?
Master Gulio: What these itsy bitsies love doing: Kicking it up a notch.
(Master Gulio gets out a machine gun from the backseat and gets out from the car and climbs up to the hood. We then get an overview of him and an outer look of Seattle at nighttime with city lights. Master Gulio then aims the gun towards the RV and begins shooting. The bullets hits the RV and everyone ducks down. But as Master Gulio is shooting, Ignazio notices cop cars and motions all mafian cars to drive away from the RV. Letting the cops shoot the RV.)
Cop (on radio): STOP THE RV AND COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR, NOW!
Ryan: weregonnadie! weregonnadie! weregonnadie!
Christian: Shut up! We’ll be just fine!
Dylan: I know a way out of here…
(Dylan takes out his pocketknife and cuts a hole in the bottom.)
Evan: Eh, just come on.
(They crawl out from under the RV and sneak off to a nearby donut restaurant. They enter and hide under the tables.)
Khalil: Okay, please explain how is this going to help?
(Dylan crawls out from the table and says….)
Dylan: 20 donuts, please.
Cashier (behind register hiding): Sure, you got cash?
Dylan: Yeah, thanks.
(The cashier gives him the donuts for the cash and Dylan goes back to the others.)
Dylan: See? I told you this would help!
Evan: Right, so we got food, any plan on how to get away from the cops?
(Dylan opens the donuts and throws them at the cops.)
Cop #1: FREE DONUTS!!!!
(The cops all drive over to the donuts, and the Herd sneaks out from the back and into the night.)
Evan: Well! That was easier than expected!
Lewis: Great! AND!.....
(Lewis opens his duffel bag and pulls some guns.)
Lewis: I managed to sneak some guns with us in case we run into trouble!
Khalil: Well with the mafia AND cops after us! We’ll need *flex arms in air* FIREPOWER!
Evan: Is that really necessary, Khalil? We got the power of firearms AND Cluck-Fu on our side!
Ryan: I think we left our fingerprints all over the RV back there!
Dylan: Well, I guess that can’t be- Oh, come on!
(Police helicopters surround the Seattle area with lights moving around the area..)
Police: Be on the lookout for six dangerous criminals on the run!
(The police spot the Herd.)
Police Chief: Alright, we got ‘em!
(Ryan turns to Dylan.)
Ryan: Now would be a good time to use firearms….
Dylan: No, don’t do that, unless you want to get shot.
Police Chief: Good choice! Now come with u-
(A sniper shot hits the chief as well as his backup. Then two mafians come in and point their guns at the Herd. Master Gulio then appears.)
Master Gulio: I told you…… You’re mine!
Dylan: *whispering to Herd* I have just the thing for this situation.
(Dylan pulls out a rubber b@ll and throws it at Master Gulio.)
Ryan: Seriously? A b@ll?
Dylan: Watch this.
(Dylan pulls out a remote controller and presses a red button. Gulio is looking at the b@ll very closely, when it causes a small explosion towards Master Gulio and the surrounding mafians.)
Dylan: Yep, just a toy, Ryan. Did I mention I accidentally dropped a few of these near the RV?
(The body of Master Gulio raises up, and a piece of flesh from his face falls off, revealing a black mask with the real face of Master Gulio behind it.)
Master Gulio: Did you really think I’ll come unprepared? And now with mybackup eliminated, and the cops nowhere to be seen, this will be the battle of the ages! *points revolver at the herd*
Ryan: Can we please use firearms now?
Dylan: Hmmm…… Lewis! The AK-47, please!
Lewis: We forgot the guns…..
Dylan: Well, we’re in trouble….wait a second….Hey Evan, isn’t that Anthony’s van coming towards us?
Evan: I think it is? Why would he be here?
Anthony: *van honks* Hey guys!
(Anthony’s van slams into Master Gulio, knocking him out.)
Anthony: What did I miss?
Dylan: The battle of the ages, apparently.
Anthony: Against who?
Lewis: Well, I think you ran him over….
Anthony: Eh, if he was gonna kill you then I don’t care. Hey, I came here to chat with Evan.
Evan: What is it?
Anthony: Well the hospital was gonna send this to you but I thought I came here to tell you so you can get a better chance in fixing this.
Evan: Need more love advice?
Anthony: No…. your check bounced….
(Anthony pulls out the check Evan apparently gave him for the arm implants, with a red stamp on it saying “bounced”.)
Evan: WHAT? I gotta have a serious talk with my bank… THIS should take care of everything!
(Evan goes into his pockets and pulls out some of the money he won from the tournament and dumps it in Anthony’s hands.)
Anthony: Okay, then….. Guess I’ll have to give this to the hospital as your payment!
(Anthony returns to his van.)
Anthony: Spent at least over eighty dollars of gas getting here, and NO tips! God, he’s cheap!
(Anthony drives away, and Dylan asks Evan something.)
Dylan: Wasn’t that money stolen for the tournament use?
Evan: You told me, so yes!
Dylan: Kinda a d!ck move since he can go to jail for using stolen money…
Evan: Well, the implants broke after one day! That is why I couldn't use them when the time was right.
The Herd: Ohhhhhhh……..
Evan: Plothole solved, right? Now there is one more mystery to this….
Christian: Which is…..?
Evan: At all the moments where Master Gulio could kill us, why didn’t he? Is it because he’s a pussy, or is old age getting to him?
Master Gulio: *slowly getting up* EASY! Because all those times, you weren’t ALL here, and I want to slay you all at once, because it will be much sweeter! Plus, when you ARE all here, but unarmed, it makes it TOO easy, which doesn’t feel all so satisfying!
Lewis: Huh…… Khalil, you owe me ten bucks!
Dylan: C’mon, guys, let’s go. This is getting boring.
Evan: Yeah… HEY! Behind the dumpster!
(Evan runs to the dumpster, and pulls out some sports equipment.)
Evan: Got some hokey sticks, some golf clubs, some baseball bats, some tennis rackets, even poles…. I’m guessing for gymnastics….. Here, catch!
(Evan tosses the material to the Herd, strangely even a copy of Final Fantasy which falls in Dylan’s hands.)
Dylan: And a copy of Final Fantasy! Score!
Master Gulio: So what? Are we really doing this or am I just gonna cope with shooting you without a fair fight?
Dylan: I’m gonna go find an NES to play Final Fantasy.
Master Gulio: What does that even have to do with this????
Christian: Good point….
(Christian throws his mallet at Master Gulio, which hits him in his head. Then Slipknot’s “My Plague” starts playing as a fight erupts between Master Gulio and Evan, Ryan, Dylan, Christian, Lewis, and Khalil. Evan armed with a sledgehammer, Ryan a machete, Dylan a crowbar, Christian now a plank of wood, Lewis a baseball bat, and Khalil a golf club. Master Gulio fires his revolver, but Christian blocks it with his plank of wood and smacks Master Gulio with it.)
Evan: Huh, I guess that plank WAS useful!
(Master Gulio gets up and kicks Christian away, and rolls up his sleeve, revealing a Ninja Forearm Machete, and he unsheathes it.)
Ryan: Ohhh, Gulio’s going Assassin’s Creed style!
(Master Gulio swings his blade at Ryan and his machete, who appears to be fighting him like….?)
Ryan: Call me….. RYANPOOL!
Master Gulio: That’s the dumbest nickname I’ve ever heard!
(Master Gulio ducks Ryan’s swing and rams him down.)
Ryan: Impressive for an old man!
Master Gulio: Fool! I’m forty six years old! And yet, I still kicked your @ss like no one's business! And now…. I’m gonna kill you!
(Master Gulio was about to ram his blade to Ryan, but Evan and Lewis swings their weapons and Master Gulio, giving Ryan time to roll away form his death. Ryan then sees something and gets an idea and runs out the battle. Master Gulio just laughs.)
Master Gulio: Hehe, coward.
Lewis: Great. Another one of us leaving the battle..
(Ryan ties a jump rope to a baseball bat, swings it around and it hits Master Gulio’s mask, which takes it right off.)
Dylan: Wow, Ryan! You finally did something useful for once!
Master Gulio: GAAAAAH! NOT THE FACE!
Khalil: His face is defenseless! TACKLE HIM!
(Dylan, Evan, Ryan, Christian, Lewis, and Khalil all rally their weapons and tackle the mafian overlord, Rapidly hitting him with their weapons in a brutal beatdown. Lewis swings his bat at Master Gulio’s legs, bringing him down to his knees. Khalil hits Gulio’s back with his gold club, bringing him down. And soon the herd are all hitting him with their weapons, then Evan picks up Master Gulio and swings at him with his rubber chicken with the power of Cluck Fu, knocking Master Gulio far back to the road. Master Gulio is left heavily panting in and out.)
Master Gulio: Is that *pant* the best you can do? Just some lousy sports equipment?
Dylan: No! Hey, where’s Ryan?
Master Gulio: You can never kill me! Nothing can kill me!
(Suddenly, loud honking is herd.)
Ryan (v/o): NOT EVEN A GIANT RV?!?!
Master Gulio: Huh?
(Ryan driving the RV then brutality rams into Master Gulio. Who is left with his eyes twitching and limbs broken, taking in his last breath before slowly closing his eyes, ending his life once and for all…. Then the Herd runs over to Ryan.)
Khalil: Hey….. You found the RV!
Ryan: It still works, too!
Dylan: Well….. With Gulio and pretty much the whole mafia dead….. WE’RE HEROES!
Ryan: YAAY! Uh oh…
(Ryan then drives off with the RV, and the Herd chases after him.)
Evan: Hey wait!! Where are you going?
(Then police sirens are heard and red and blue lights appear behind the Herd, and cops soon get out from their cars and points their handguns at the Herd.)
Cop: Throw your hands up in the air!
(The Herd does, but then Dylan gets an idea.)
Dylan: *waves hands* And then wave ‘em like you just don’t care!
(Soon Evan, Christian, Lewis, and Khalil start waving their hands in the air in humor.)
Dylan: Say Ooh!!
Dylan: Say Ooh!!!
(As Dylan continues this gesture, the Cop looks over to his partner, who happens to be waving his hands in the air as well.)
Cop: Really, Frank?
Frank: What? Their funny!
(The Cop then motions the others over and they grab the boys, push them against a brick wall and put the handcuffs on them. Then they shove them in the back of their police car and hauls them away. Then the scene shifts to a black background.)
(GO THE THE EPILOGUE FOR THE END)