Athena | Teen Ink

Athena

June 20, 2014
By LittleMissMusic BRONZE, Burlington, Massachusetts
LittleMissMusic BRONZE, Burlington, Massachusetts
3 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations."

"I wish I could have done everything in the world with you."


"Hello? Mama? Yeah, it's 'Thena...hiii, Mama. How are you?.... Oh...I'm sorry, Mama. I miss you!...what? Oh! Nolan says hi! Yeah, we're gonna watch a movie...the audition? Oh, well...it was awesome! What happened? What was it like? Tell me! Okay, well, I spent the entire day before looking at the guidelines, and I almost was like 'maybe I just shouldn't go out for this because it's not worth it' but then I was like 'I literally don't care; Alice is my favorite so I'm going to audition for her.' Yeah, so me and Nolan—Nolan and I— yeah, we got to the park at like, what, seven in the morning? Nolan wanted to get there later, but he doesn't know how these things work. He went out for Peter, he even wore that hat you made him—It was atrocious— It was so charming, Mama, c'mon. Anyways! So we got into line, then some officials or something came outside and let us into the hotel, cuz apparently they wouldn't let us in in the beginning? Anyways, they let us in, then they separated us by gender, then by movie...I auditioned for Alice, Mama; I just told you that...you remember now? Good. Okay, so I was sitting there and I was looking around and Mama, all these white girls were there. They kept giving me looks...yes, Mama, Alice is technically white; Then why did you audition for her? Because I am her, Mama! We went over this! Remember? Whitewashing and cultural appropriation and stereotypes? Oh yeah! My little activist! Go on; what happened next? So I'm sitting there, getting these nasty looks from these white girls, right? And I start feeling so out of place because Alice is supposedly this cute white girl with alabaster skin and rosy cheeks and that's what these girls looked like. I started panicking real bad, Mama. There were all these blonde-haired, black-loafered, rosy-cheeked white girls with clear skin and then there was me. The only black girl with nappy hair and blush that was barely visible. This one girl, I don't even know who the thought she was, but she came up to me and was like 'You must be confused, Tiana auditions are in the next building.' I literally wanted to cry right then and there, Mama. I felt so inadequate, Mama. Like, I'm the black girl; I'm supposed to be a Muse from Hercules or Tiana or something, except I don't wanna be that. I don't wanna be forced into playing strong, sassy, independent black woman. I mean, it's like I can't feel down or upset because I'm supposed to be this strong black woman, and that isn't right. I just wanna be curious and carefree and fun and small and pretty like Alice is—don't let those white girls get you down, baby. It's not you; it's the system—remember that. Thank you, Mama...ANYWAYS! So, they brought all the Alice girls into this little dingy room. The lighting was so bad. The judges kept looking at me because the whole time they were asking questions and whatnot, I was front and center with my apron and everything. Like, I wasn't even bothered by all the white girls anymore—Good for you, baby— and They asked us a whole bunch of questions about the movie like the setting, how old Alice is, what her sister's name is, main characters, events, you know, stuff people should generally know. And how do you think you did? I killed it, Mama. Those other girls were nothing on me. I got everything down to the accent. It was glorious. They dismissed us after a while of like, individual interviews, and one of the ladies who was like, judging, came up to me and was like 'why do you like Alice so much?' And I was like, 'Well, she's my baby. I've loved her for as long as I could remember, and I wanna share my love for her and Disney with the kids that come to the park.' And the lady goes, 'I admire you so much. Thanks for coming out today.' And Mama, legit I think I cried. Did I cry, Nolan?...Yeah, I think I cried. It's just, so like, refreshing, y'know? Not to let my race hold me back from anything. I remember when I was like really little and I would see all these light-skinned girls on TV and I'd get really pissed, cuz I don't look like that. I thought I wasn't ever going to make it because I was so dark, y'know? I'm not bothered by it anymore, Mama. I'm black, but that shouldn't stop me from anything. I don't even care when people give me and Nolan—Nolan and I— weird looks anymore! So, you're feeling good then, Athena? Yeah, Mama. I'm in a good place, now. I don't think I'm gonna do anything bad, at least not right now. Like, I've been taking my medicine and seeing the therapist and...I'm okay. Nolan takes really good care of me. That's what I wanna hear, baby. Good for you! Yeah, anyway, that's what I called to talk to you about; Me and...Nolan and I are getting into the car. We're gonna see Maleficent, then maybe go for a walk or something. Okay, Mama. I'll call you later....alright...okay, Mama...o-okay...Ma-Mama... OkayMamaloveyoutoobye!"


The author's comments:
A monologue I write for my creative writing course. Cultural appropriation!!!

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