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The Casual Comedy

The Casual Comedy
(A young adult is at his home, when a phone rings. He answers it.)

MICHAEL
Hello?
J.K. ROWLING
Hello Tom, it’s Jo Rowling. Even though Harry Potter has been over for quite some time, I do hope you remember me. The mother of your character, Draco Malfoy. Would you be interested in meeting for coffee? I do warn you, if I get a story idea, I may need to cut our outing short as I do write quite well in Cafes.
MICHAEL
Oh sure Jo, it’d be a blast. Where at?
J.K. ROWLING
At the Elephant House here in Edinburgh. Where else? I’ll even buy you your plane tickets.
MICHAEL
Okay, but you will have to send the tickets to a Michael Peters. The nearest airport is in Chicago
J.K. ROWLING
Good God, what are you doing in Chicago? Is that like Diagon Alley, and did you get another bodyguard? All those silly girls wishing they were Hermione, still upset she didn’t end up with Draco.
MICHAEL
Err- I was visiting an old friend, and yeah of course.
J.K. ROWLING
Very well, I cannot wait to see you again Tom. I hope you haven’t changed a bit!
MICHAEL
Oh, a few years may do a bit.
J.K ROWLING (Laughing)
Oh you were always a kidder!

(The two hang up, and a week later, Michael receives a letter in the mail, holding two tickets to Edinburgh. The two meet up at the Elephant House Café)
JK ROWLING
Tom! How nice it is to see you. You look slightly different, but not too much. A bit taller, and much shorter hair! Sorry if I’m a bit out of it, Alan Rickman, Maggie Smith, and myself tapped into the ale last night. I needed a break from writing.
MICHAEL
Yeah, well I had a movie role, and how nice.
JK ROWLING
Yes, however you lost the accent too! You are a brilliant actor being able to conceal your true identity.
MICHAEL
Yeah, well let’s sit down.
JK ROWLING
Indeed, that sounds most pleasant.
(The two sit down at a booth, and order coffees. JK ROWLING finishes her coffee and puts the cup upside down on her head)
JK ROWLING
Look Tom! I’m wearing the sorting hat (Coffee spills down her head)
(A tall man with a black beard and frizzy long black hair walks in)
JK ROWLING
Look it’s Hagrid!
MICHAEL
Yeah, so any new projects
JK ROWLING
Loads, but I can’t tell you. If I can’t tell my children, or my husband, I certainly cannot tell you.
WAITRESS
Excuse me, but sir, are you Mr. Michael Peters
JK ROWLING
No he is Tom Felton, my Draco Malfoy, now shoo muggle!

WAITRESS
Sir, we have to bill you and you gave us a credit card when you came, which read, Michael Michaels
JK ROWLING
Wait, wait, wait, You’re not Tom Felton? My Draco Malfoy?
MICHAEL
Sorry, but no. I’m a big fan though. Read all the books too.
JK ROWLING
Well, at least you kept me entertained. Here is my address, be sure to write by Owl.
MICHAEL
Thanks Jo! Can you sign my iPad?
JK ROWLING
Sure (Signs iPad)
WAITRESS
Can you sign my hand?
JK ROWLING
No muggle! Expelliarmous!

THE END



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