Rock VS Potato: The Final Conflict

January 5, 2009
By
A long time in the future in a galaxy not too far away, Rock was shopping for Hanukah. And then he saw it, the most perfect menorah ever. He saw some one else eyeballing it so he darted full speed towards it to beat the other customer. Rock was about to get it….. but he tripped. The other customer got the menorah and laughed at Rock.

Rock stood up and said angrily, “What is your name boy?!?!”

The other customer sloowwly turned around and said, “Potato, what’s it to you?”

“I CHALLENGE YOU TO A BOXING MATCH!!!!!”

Potato stopped and thought for a minute and then in one short word said, “When?”

“Two weeks Friday, at the Spectrum. You can show up and get your butt kicked in front of a bunch of people, or you can wuss out and get your butt kicked in the back of an ally. Your choice.”

“I’ll be there.”

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“I’m number one, I’m number one,” Rock kept saying over and over again.

Rock had been doing 50 right-handed pushups, 50 left-handed pushups, 150 crunches, 75 pull-ups, three and a half hours in the ring working on technique, and finally a 9 mile run. Each day. Rock was in such good shape he looked like a boulder. The whole time he was training his mini T-Rex Slug was with him. Slug and Rock was like peas and carrots.

Meanwhile Potato was doing 75 right-handed pushups, 75 left-handed pushups, 220 crunches, 100 pull-ups, five hours in the ring working on technique, and finally a 13 mile run. Each day.

It was four days before the fight and both contenders were running purely on adrenaline. When Rock got back from his run he heard a slight whimper. He was quickly alarmed because Slug was100 in human years. When he finally found him he saw that a bookcase had flattened him. At approximately 7:43 on July 23, 4027 Slug was dead. “He was like a brother to me,” Rock said quietly. Rock went to go see Potato to tell what had happened and to see if he was willing to postpone the fight.

All Potato said was, “I could care less if your stupid pet dies. I am not postponing the fight.” And then in a mimicking voice Potato said “You can show up and get your butt kicked in front of a bunch of people, or you can wuss out and get your butt kicked in the back of an alley. Your choice.”

Rock was soooo enraged that he threw out a punch at Potato and hit him square in the jaw. Potato being so surprised that Rock had the courage to stand up to him said “4 days.” It was going to be a very bloody match.
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It was the day of the fight Potato was throwing darts at a dartboard. The dartboard had Rocks face on it. Meanwhile Rock was still an emotional wreck. The odds were favoring Potato 100%; he was expected to have a KO by the second or third round.

Ding Ding Ding. The bell rang signaling the start of the fight. Potato came out swinging, he landed four hard left hand jabs to the ribs and a right hook to the head. Rock was not looking good.

Ding Ding Ding. Round Two. This round Rock wanted to cause some damage, so he landed five left jabs to the head and three right hooks to the head. BOOOOM!!!! Potato fell. Rock had a KO in just the second round. ROCK HAD ANNIHILATED POTATO. He had made Potato into Mashed Potatoes. Rock guessed it was because Potato got cocky

“YOU DID IT ROCK, YOU DID IT,” the crowd screamed!!!

“WINNING BY KO IN THE SECOND ROUND, THE CONTENDER, ROCK,” the announcer bellowed out over the Spectrum.
“I WON,” Rock exploded.
The next day at the hospital Rock asked, “Why don’t I remember winning?”

“You have a major concussion and serious brain damage,” the doctor said. “I am very sorry to say but you aren’t going to be able to fight ever again.”

“You just wait and see, I’ll be back!!”





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