Everything and everyone you know is made of stardust …
except for the night giants – no one is quite sure what they are.
They’re a quiet, contemplative people by nature
with a curious taste for Indian food.
Giants are also quite fond of luxury handbags.
They use them as socks for each individual toe,
which is nice until they step on someone’s car keys.
The Richter scale does not even begin to cover
the types of earthquakes that occur due to incidents involving car keys.
A word of advice: never look a giant directly in the
teeth. They will blind you with their pristine brilliance.
My great uncle was a night giant.
His name was Claude, and he made watercolors.
No canvas was large or strong enough for Claude,
so he satisfied himself by painting the sky.
(The sky used to be white, you know)
I inherited his curious taste for Indian food
and fondness of luxury handbags, though
my teeth are nowhere near blinding.
Popular homes for giants include
stadiums,
theaters,
airports,
fields,
and large Indian restaurants,
though they are quite content with camping out
or sleeping on couches, if they can fit.