i am the fallen | Teen Ink

i am the fallen

December 3, 2013
By lystirei01 BRONZE, Niagara Falls, New York
lystirei01 BRONZE, Niagara Falls, New York
4 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love is the voice under all silences, the hope which has no opposite in fear; the strength so strong mere force is feebleness: the truth more first than sun, more last than star… E.E. Cummings


What does the sky look like?
“Can’t you see with your own eyes? It’s blue.”
Ahh! So it’s blue. Blue. What a beautiful color.
“Why did you ask that? Can’t you see it?”
See it, I wonder is there any need to see it to know that it’s beautiful?
“I’m sorry”
You know what kid?
“I’m not a kid! And know what?”
Do you believe in fate?
“No…what’s there to believe?”
But have you ever thought of the possibilities, how wonderful fate is.?
“WHY! IT’S BECAUSE OF FATE THAT I WAS ABANDONED BY A LAKE LEFT THERE TO DIE… IT’S BECAUSE OF FATE THAT I STRUGGLE TO STAY ALIVE….. I just want it to end, I curse fate .fate. Took everything from me! It took it all away without hesitation!”
If you want it to end, then why are you struggling to live? Do you really want it to end just like that…you still have your future ahead of you…so why are you in such a rush? Who are you looking for? You still love them even though they abandon you. Don’t you?
“Still love who?”
Your parents…
“WHAT DO YOU KNOW? I HATE THEM. I HATE THEM IF THEY LOVED ME… WHY? WHY? DID THEY LEAVE ME? THEY CAN JUST DIE…..”
If you hate them then why is there tears running down your face?
*he’s shocked as he touches his face his eyes widen*
you don’t hate them…. Hate is a beautiful word with so many feelings behind it. It. leaves an impression of anger and despair. Want me to tell you a story? *she says with a smile*
“…..”
There was a person; she saw the world in all colors. Colors that described words, HEY! Don’t you think that words belong to another world? Well she did…. She lived on top of the blue sky.
“So you mean in space?”
No… in heaven.
“Did she die”
No… she was very much alive.
“Oh… so why did she see the world in all colors?”
She was a curious child, problematic I should say. it hurts right?
“What hurts?”
Being left behind….*his eye widens he turns his head towards her. She smiles* it’s a scary feeling. She doesn’t want to feel like that again. Ever, why do you think the sky is blue?
Blue is a sad color, the sky is so huge! But so alone… but then again it’s not alone, because of the clouds….. She cry’s on the inside because there’s no use of crying on the outside, no one’s going to be there to catch them. So why not contain them?
“Why does she know what it’s like to be left behind?”
Because he abandon her.
“Who abandon her?”
Her savior he gave up hope on her.
“Why?”
Who knows it seems she was of no use, he didn’t need her anymore.
“Why doesn’t she ask him, Ask him why he given up hope?”
She did, but it was of no use.
“WHY!? Did she do something wrong”
she doesn’t know, she was sent away and was told to never come back.
“ISN'T SHE MAD AT HIM? IF HE IS HER SAVIOR THE LEAST HE CAN DO IS HEAR HER OUT RIGHT?”
But you know she’s not sad.
“Why?”
I don’t know, is it because she thought she was of some use to him?
“Where is she now?”
She’s here.
“She has wings right? So why not fly back to heaven and ask for him to hear her out?”
NO! No, she doesn’t want to feel like that again she’s scared. She’s scared.
“Can I ask you something?”
Yes what is it?
“How do you know her story she was in heaven so you couldn’t have met her and she is probably in a secluded place away from humans so how?”
Yes indeed how?
“Well?”
Have you ever been to heaven? Well of-course not… I was abandon by my only savior and was thrown out he’d have given up on me.
“So you’re that girl?”
He’d forsaken me discarded me because I was useless I AM A FALLEN ANGEL, the storm in my heart will never be calm.
“Don’t you hate him? ANSWER ME!”
HOW CAN I HE SAVED ME. HE SAVED ME. I JUST CAN’T BRING MY SELF TO DO IT…HE WAS. HE WAS THE ONLY ONE. The only one. Who was not afraid of me he held out his warm hands and calmed the storm brewing in my heart he gave me meaning, he gave me a reason to go on….. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO. I CANT. I CANT HATE HIM… but I hate myself for even trying…. The world is a beautiful place but there are people like me who color it and ugly color… I’m dying inside I want to be accepted but I feel so disgusted with myself… I love him.
“You’re lying”
what?
“If you loved him you wouldn’t have has such a sad face when you said you loved him”
hahaha so you saw through me huh? I’m stupid, I lost my meaning to even go on but I still want to live. I use to see everything in colors. Colors that look like they’re not from this world, so beautiful! But now everything is in gray monochrome. So can I ask you again?
“What?”
Do you believe in fate?
“Yeah maybe it was fate that I met you, what’s your name?”
I don’t have a name
“How about blue?”
Blue. I……I LIKE IT thank you *she smiles*
“hello blue my name is…..”
Gabriel...



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