Intro to my Novel, Derelict | Teen Ink

Intro to my Novel, Derelict

September 5, 2013
By Kestrel135 PLATINUM, Waterford, Connecticut
Kestrel135 PLATINUM, Waterford, Connecticut
43 articles 0 photos 256 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Respect existence or expect resistance"


Someone is exactly who I am.

Living the life of the ordinary, stalking the fields of past and future with a plain mind, normal, average. I have the average parents, if not a little eccentric, the average friends, the average world. Ordinary. The usual. I plunder the reigning skies of my world with an open mind, hoping that the universe doesn’t implode on itself, that the government can hold itself up with the same ease it has for the past two decades for just a little longer. That everything will maintain a general calm throughout my life. The classic worries. The classic life. Walking the streets among an endless torrent of other Someones, other people leading a life of the classics. As I said, normal. Average. Just the ordinary life, the ordinary day, the ordinary someone. Me. Known by those who bother to, but hidden to most who care little to look. But once known, they won’t forget me, because unlike most in this vast, heartless universe, I’m not just any someone.

I’m not no one, either, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be if I want to. It just means that I have settled myself in a dedication where I have the mind to set change onto this world. Onto the very bowels of time. It means that in the endless fields of my existence, I can lower my gaze to those sparkling grasses of my fate, my life, knowing that whatever will happen, I will survive. It means, that in the darkened shadows of the future, I won’t let that darkness consume me. It means, that, in the end, I will go fighting.

It means that I will always remember. I will always stare into the golden blaze of the sun and reconcile my past, taking it with me to decide my outcome; what I am, what I can be, who I am meant to be. My worst enemy is fate, and it’s hand tugs at the strings of my life. Even as I stalk the realm of time as a person of ordinariness, that doesn’t mean that I have to constantly be normal. In fact, it means anything but.

Fate is coming for me. It always is, darting ahead into the future without the slightest c*** of its head turning back to look into the glowering eyes of past. No matter the time, no matter the business, it will always toy with my life, lifting the ends of my strings and forcing me into a new act. Perhaps the act of the average someone; or, perhaps, the act of the hidden no one.

But whatever the act, when it arrives, something bigger will be held in its arms. Something worse. Something terrible. And fate, again, will be the one holding in a single palm the strings of that monstrosity; in the other, the world dangling on a thread. On a single, vital moment, where as the world is about to lose everything, someone will emerge who knows there is nothing to lose. Nothing but our lives. Our world. The very bowels of time and our existence as whoever we are.

When it comes, I won’t be just any average someone. Not just the person of ordinariness that I am forced to act out as the time inches onwards. Onwards into the arms of a fate whom casts it’s glare forward, never looking back, never wavering from what it thinks must be done. When it comes, I will open my eyes to see a new light; the light that fate always insists to shed on me. The light of darkness. When it comes, my life as I knew it, will disintegrate into nothing but a flickering image of the past. An endless history that fate never glances back at, only casting a single wink for a final goodbye, forgetting the very core of its own life. It should have looked back. Just a second more. It may have learned. It may have lived longer than it insisted, rather than denying the success of past and letting itself crumble; it might have shown more courage if it had. But no matter all the chances it was given to alter the course of its own existence, one thing is for certain. One, single, raging truth burning its way into my soul.
Because when it comes, I will fight with my life.


The author's comments:
This is the Prologue to one of my books, Derelict, that I haven't gotten far enough into to post yet. I would like to get some feedback on it, and feel free to be harsh. Tell me what needs improvement, tell me what you like! I don't want to give away many hints to the book, but the character who is speaking is called Azaria. This is a futuristic novel, and nothing really dangerous has happened yet; this is all mostly foreshadowing. Please give me feedback! Thank you!

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This article has 17 comments.


on Mar. 10 2017 at 9:15 am
LeisurelySketches GOLD, Tricity, Other
10 articles 1 photo 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
Your life has a limit but knowledge has none. (Zhuangzi)

And yes, your novel is deep, but not dense. The imagery and emotion is crystal-clear, and in my opinion you don't need to worry about your writing being indecipherable.

on Mar. 10 2017 at 9:11 am
LeisurelySketches GOLD, Tricity, Other
10 articles 1 photo 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
Your life has a limit but knowledge has none. (Zhuangzi)

Gripping introduction,I couldn't stop reading. I don't know how to phrase my admiration, so all I can say is that your writing overflows with talent. I hope you complete your book soon, because I can't wait to read it.

on Mar. 10 2014 at 4:32 pm
Kestrel135 PLATINUM, Waterford, Connecticut
43 articles 0 photos 256 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Respect existence or expect resistance"

Just in case anyone is interested, I have an edited and revised version of this online. It's called; "Derelict Introduction Revised" (creative, I know) and I would really appreciate any comments you might have on the revisions I made. Thank you! 

on Feb. 25 2014 at 8:13 pm
Kestrel135 PLATINUM, Waterford, Connecticut
43 articles 0 photos 256 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Respect existence or expect resistance"

I'm glad you like it! The book is in the sci-fi/fantasy section. (Wholock !!!!! Oh, that is clever;)

on Feb. 22 2014 at 5:00 pm
uncomfortableBrunette SILVER, Lr. Sackville, Other
5 articles 13 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
I want to hate you half as much as i hate myself

Very interesting intro! It leaves the reader wanting more! I need to read the book!

on Oct. 21 2013 at 3:51 pm
Kestrel135 PLATINUM, Waterford, Connecticut
43 articles 0 photos 256 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Respect existence or expect resistance"

Thanks! I have the book posted if you are interested... Feel free to check it out!

sam_101 BRONZE said...
on Oct. 20 2013 at 1:17 pm
sam_101 BRONZE, ......................, Other
2 articles 0 photos 50 comments
Nice stufff you got there.Carry on the good work  Panda over and out

on Oct. 13 2013 at 10:00 am
Kestrel135 PLATINUM, Waterford, Connecticut
43 articles 0 photos 256 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Respect existence or expect resistance"

Thank  you so much. I'm glad you could connect to my metaphorical phrasing... According to some people it is difficult to understand. If you want to read the actual novel, Derelict, it is up on the Sci-fi/fantasy section, a few pages into 'recently posted'. And I would be happy to comment on some of your works! Which do you suggest? :)

on Oct. 13 2013 at 6:37 am
Ericaflooze BRONZE, Mildura, Other
1 article 0 photos 7 comments
What a beautiful piece of writing. Your expression is fluent and coherent, and I love the way you describe the ordinariness of life, as though you could be talking about any one of us, anywhere, in any time. Also, the ability to explain in words such an abstract concept like fate is a special kind of talent. I have no criticism for your work. It's wonderful.

I'd really appreciate your feedback on some of my own writing, if you'd like to comment :) 

on Sep. 25 2013 at 3:52 pm
Kestrel135 PLATINUM, Waterford, Connecticut
43 articles 0 photos 256 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Respect existence or expect resistance"

Thanks, and I definetly agree to your point. The reason we write is to make a point, at least for me, and it helps if we can put it into the words that best suit ourselves; our souls. And I am aware that some people will be a bit dejected due to the intensity of my writing. Although, I also find that it attracts a different kind of crowd; the deep thinkers. I feel that I can connect to them more, so I write to them. I appreciate your comments, and am going to the novel in a minute to reply :) Thank you!

on Sep. 25 2013 at 3:49 pm
Kestrel135 PLATINUM, Waterford, Connecticut
43 articles 0 photos 256 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Respect existence or expect resistance"

Aw, thank you! I actually have posted the novel, it just got approved yesterday. It is in the Science Fiction/Fantasy section, titled Derelict. The chapters are pretty long, and I have only just gotten to chapter 2, but I hope you like it. I'm glad you liked this so much! In all honesty, this is one of the top peices of writing I have done, if not the best. 

on Sep. 24 2013 at 7:12 pm
LaChouette GOLD, Mount Vernon, New York
12 articles 0 photos 146 comments

Favorite Quote:
“And then there are the times when the wolves are silent and the moon is howling.”
- George Carlin

You're welcome!

on Sep. 24 2013 at 5:51 pm
AnInkling SILVER, Castle Rock, Colorado
6 articles 0 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
“This is your life. Is it everything you dreamed that it would be, when the world was younger and you had everything to lose?” Switchfoot
“Have I now become your enemy by telling you the truth?” Galatians 4:16

I made some comments on your intro on your novel, but I saw some of your questions here, and I thought you might appreciate my opinion even though it isn't much! I would definitely not say that it is "too deep", but my mother tells me that I am an "intellectual". I believe in deep, thought provoking writing because if we don't write to speak to a truth or to speak of an idea then why would we write? It all becomes meaningless-- however, I am digressing! But I would definitely say that you are catering to the thinking community, and some readers will not be attracted to your work because they don't want to work that hard. Yet, I would say that-- uh, how do I put this politely-- many teenagers might not reading it because it is "too deep" is never a reason not to write it. Don't cater to the lowest common denominator. 

on Sep. 24 2013 at 12:15 pm
E.J.Mathews GOLD, International Falls, Minnesota
19 articles 2 photos 145 comments
I really wish that I could be more helpful, but the truth is that this piece is absolutely flawless. Everything kept me reading on, and your descriptions were beautiful. You are an amazing talent! You have to let me know, either in the forums or comment on my work, when you post the rest of this novel! I have to read it! Anyways, I think you did an outstanding job. Congrats on the Editors Choice, you definitely deserve it, if not the magazine!

on Sep. 21 2013 at 9:54 am
Kestrel135 PLATINUM, Waterford, Connecticut
43 articles 0 photos 256 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Respect existence or expect resistance"

Thank you! :D I do agree with the double usage of 'bowels of time' being a bit too much. I'll edit that when I post it as a novel... And there probably are a few grammar errors, and I'll sort them out, too. :) I'm glad you liked it. I guess I should try to post the story soon, but I only just finished the first chapter... When I do, I hope you enjoy it!  Oh, and also, the prologues are sort of the big overveiw, just without any of the details. You know something is coming already because of this, but the main character only finds out in the second chapter. I'm hoping that this will be the start of a trilogy.  Anyway, thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it. I've been waiting for someone to comment on it for ages... ;)

on Sep. 20 2013 at 6:44 pm
LaChouette GOLD, Mount Vernon, New York
12 articles 0 photos 146 comments

Favorite Quote:
“And then there are the times when the wolves are silent and the moon is howling.”
- George Carlin

Hi Kestrel135! I like this piece. I agree, it is deep, but deep is a good thing! I, personally, think I'll have to read it again to get the full feel of what you are trying to say (and I did :D). There might have been one or two grammatical errors, but nothing that big. I love the idea of fate pulling the strings like a puppet! That is really cool. Your spelling is good. Your use of the phrase 'bowels of time' is used twice in this piece and I think, just because of its wording, it can be used once. I feel like if you see it that one time, it really sticks out in the piece, but that is just my opinion (You don't have to agree at all). Overall, I think it was very good. Now, I want to read your story! :D Keep up the good work!

on Sep. 11 2013 at 4:20 pm
Kestrel135 PLATINUM, Waterford, Connecticut
43 articles 0 photos 256 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Respect existence or expect resistance"

Please shed some feedback on this.. My mom said that it was too 'deep' and difficult to understand, and I would like to know if anyone else is having that problem... If so, my apologies. It's my style of writing, I guess.