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The Adventures of Rapunzel and Prince
Once upon a time, there was a young girl with strangely long hair named Rapunzel. Rapunzel and her boyfriend, (whose name happened to be Prince) were taking a walk in a very far away park with Rapunzel’s pet cat, Mr. Mittens.
“My lady! Where would ye like to rest for ye picnic?” Prince asked.
“Ugh! Like I care! I just want to leave!” Rapunzel whined, her fat orange cat rolling around in her arms. “They’re so grassy! And they have BUGS! Oh! And-! ”
“Ah ha!” Prince interrupted. “Look over yonder! The PERFECT place for a picnic!”
Rapunzel looked over to where her odd boyfriend was now frantically pointing. It was over by a huge Oak tree, in the center of a grassy field.
“Whatever. I guess it looks okay-.”
“Huzzah!!” Prince trilled, and yanked on Rapunzel’s arm and forced her into a run over to the oak tree.
“Ah-ha! I am the BEST picnic-spot-finder in all the land!” Prince said, throwing their checkered red and white picnic blanket onto the green floor. “Huzzah!”
“Seriously Prince, I don’t get why you talk like that. It’s super annoying.”
“I only wish to treat you like the princess you are!”
“Gosh Prince, just because I’m rich and beautiful doesn’t mean I’m a princess! Jeez.” Rapunzel scowled. “You’re so melodramatic.”
“Oh no!” Prince yelped.
“Ugh! What now?”
“My dear, it appears I may have left the Picnic Basket of Gratification at the cottage.”
“What!? So I walked all this way for nothing!?” Rapunzel was about to throw a fit when she heard a gentle jingling noise.
“Huzzah!” Prince yelled yet again. “It’s the Ice cream King! He has come to quench our need of creamed ice!”
“Uh, Prince, you know he’s not actually a king…”
“Halt Ice cream King! I have a dire request!” Prince yelled, racing off after the ice cream truck.
Rapunzel sighed and sat down on the checkered blanket. “Oh Mr. Mittens, what are we going to do about that boy?” Rapunzel sat up suddenly, looking around. “Mr. Mittens?”
Rapunzel looked up, and there, on the highest branch of the tree, was Mr. Mittens.
“Gah!” Rapunzel yelped. “Mr. Mittens! Are you stuck?”
Mr. Mittens purred giddily, stretching his back on the thick tree limb.
“Get down here right now!” Rapunzel yelled up to the cat.
Mr. Mittens looked down at Rapunzel and shook his head.
“Ugh! Fine. I’ll come up after you!” Rapunzel pulled her lengthy skirts up and hiked towards the tree.
It took her a couple of tries to get started, but finally Rapunzel started her climb upward. She grumbled and groaned, gaining lots of scratches and bruises on the way. When she neared the top of the tree, she called for her cat.
“Ugh! Mr. Mittens, come here right now!” Rapunzel reached the branch her cat had been purring on, and looked around. “Mr. Mittens?”
Rapunzel looked back down, and there sat her sassy cat, safely on the ground.
Rapunzel gaped at her little ball of fun. “What the-! You made me climb this tree for nothing!?” Rapunzel was about to climb back down when she realized she couldn’t. She frowned. “Uh oh. I think I’m stuck! PRINCE!!!!” Rapunzel yelled.
“Yes, my lady?” Prince answered, just coming back from the ice cream truck. He paused and looked around. “Wait. Where are you, my princess?”
“Prince, I’m up here! I’m stuck in this tree!”
Prince looked up and gave a very girlish shriek. He dropped his ice cream. “Rapunzel! However did you get stuck in that tree!?”
“It doesn’t matter! Can you just get me down?”
“Hmm.” Prince examined the tree. “I’ll need to think of a proper plan...”
“Ugh! Can’t I just jump down and let you catch me?”
Prince thought about this. “I don’t think so. You’ve gotten much too fat.”
“Maybe if I could find a ladder…”
“PRINCE! Did you seriously just call me fat?!”
“Huzzah!” Prince smiled. “I have a plan! Rapunzel! Let down your hair!”
Rapunzel pointed up to her intricate braids and fancy bows. “Are you kidding me? Do you know how long it took me to do my hair this morning!?”
“Just let down your hair!”
Rapunzel moaned. “Fine! But I don’t see how this will help.”
Rapunzel undid every braid and bow, and her long golden locks tumbled to the floor.
“Alright!” Prince clapped his hands together merrily. “Now, I shall I get you out of this horrid tree!”
“But how are you going to-!” Before Rapunzel could finish her sentence, Prince grabbed hold of her blonde hair and yanked on it as hard as he could.
“OW!” Rapunzel squealed in pain and tumbled out of the tree onto the floor.
“Huzzah!” Prince cheered. “I have gotten you out of the tree! Now all I need to do is deliver you to your father and receive my award!”
Rapunzel scowled. “Oh yeah? And what sort of reward do you think you’re getting?”
Prince grinned. “Your hand in marriage, of course!”
“Excuse me?! I don’t want to marry you! You pulled me out of a tree by my hair!”
“Huzzah!” Prince once again ignored Rapunzel and ran her back to her father, who said they could get married.
Then Rapunzel and Prince had a beautiful wedding and lived somewhat happily ever after.