Of two things I am now suddenly aware. I am awake, and I am completely alone. I can sense no immediate danger, and to the best of my knowlege, I am on a mission. What tasks I am to complete exactly, I am unsure. I am sitting in the P.O.W. position on the floor. Underneath me, the floor is colorless. Not clear exactly, but not white either. I look to my left and see nothing but white. I look to my right and see the same thing. I assume that if I am to look up, I will certainly see no change, and I never do look. I look ahead of me and as I speculated, I see more white. I am surrounded by a great nothingness. I look around the room further, and take a mental note of what I see, which is absolutely nothing. This is no ordinary room. There are no walls barracading this room. There is no ceiling to shelter and protect this room from deterioration. There are no windows to suggest an outside world. There is no door to enter or exit. I infer that I am not in a room, but in a space. I untangle myself from my current position on the floor and stand up. I close my eyes and take a deep, relaxing breath. I feel around the space, not physically with my hands or feet, but mentally. I feel this space with my mind. My mind wanders this space from the place I'm currently standing, to the far left, then to the right. I feel in front of me, as well as behind me, and above me. I let the emotions surrounding me seep through my soul. I feel lonliness, passion, desperation, rage, love and jealousy. I open my eyes and quickly realize my mission. The thought leaves just as quickly as it entered my mind. I walk to the front of this space, and place my hands in front of me, flat against the non-existant wall. With my fingertips pressed firmly against the empty area, I let all the emotions run through me at once. I feel them glide independently from one location of my body to another. Lonliness creeps through my lungs, passion through my stomach, and desperation through my shoulders. I feel rage race across my chest as love whisps from my neck. Jealousy begins in my toes and as it collides with desperation, I feel a jolt through my heart. My fingertips glide against the spot in front of me, and I see an array of colors splash over the invisible wall. So there is a wall. I think to myself. Before I know it, I have thrust these magical colors against all four walls, leaving no space uncolored. I step back to take it all in. For what seems like three whole minutes, I do nothing but graze my vision across every inch of this space, engraving each pattern of color into my mind. When I close my eyes, I see my creation. The colors suddenly come alive, and I see angry slashes of red nip at the seemingly calm swirls of pink. The desperate bursts of blue begin to twist and bend around sharp vines of green. I see the black specks of lonliness dance around the others, always fluttering gently between them, but never touching them completely. After the image fades, I open my eyes again, and make another mental observation. The previously colored walls are no more. I begin to wonder if they ever really were. I reach out to touch the space in front of me again, and this time I am greeted with a spark. My fingertips begin to pulse as I realize what I had been searching for all along.
September 12, 2009