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Monster

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As I'm sitting here, in this box-shaped room, staring at my prey three feet away from me, I am anxious. This child, an innocent child, will die. She is nothing to me, nothing at all. When she wakes, only then will she notice my presence. She is sleeping calmly, probably dreaming sweet childish fantasies of blue skies and purple unicorns flying to see a magical princess. Little does she know that in a few short hours her rosey red complexion will fade away to meet a dull white color. Little does she know that the curls that surround her face will fade and cover a life-less dull face. Little does she know of her radiant blue eyes fading with the sunset. Unlike the sun, her eyes will never surface again.

~Little does she know of the monster I am~



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imhereforthethoughtThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 22, 2013 at 8:03 pm:
Please write more! This is very good and exciting!
 
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LauraC said...
Apr. 2, 2013 at 2:12 am:
I like it. hope you got a good grade on it.
 
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FunkymanThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 6, 2013 at 12:00 pm:
i like the 'monster'
 
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BlackbeltJamesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 2, 2013 at 1:10 pm:
Absolutely brilliant, I love this piece, it inspired me myself to start writing flash fiction. It is so powerful for such a short piece. It's very emotive and thought provoking.
 
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MiniterrorThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Feb. 19, 2013 at 6:17 pm:
It is a good flash fiction piece. I think you might be able to make a longer story that leads up to this moment, then the events following if you can think of something.
 
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Giggles15This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 1, 2012 at 9:12 pm:
This is great! I can see why your teacher would be worried but eh I personally like these kind of things :) it is VERY creative and yet it has a bit of WOAH O_O to it lol
 
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xBaByGiRrL22xThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Oct. 29, 2012 at 11:25 am:
Please continue!!! This is really good
 
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RandiRose said...
Aug. 27, 2012 at 6:38 pm:
I really liked it, you should continue on with it! Will you please check out my work and tell me what you think?
 
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thenightmaresourceThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 1, 2012 at 6:47 pm:
Write a sequel please. This is a very interesting story. Pease check out my work if you liked this.
 
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Varlen-Byrd said...
Jul. 10, 2012 at 7:58 pm:
I really like how you told the story from the monster's point of view. It's a pretty cool twist. 
 
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Kateloveshim13 said...
May 27, 2012 at 10:48 pm:
This is very interesting and different. I LOVE IT!
 
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JawsOnTheFloor said...
Apr. 8, 2012 at 11:32 am:
I love this so much <3 
I can see why your teacher was worried ;)
 
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JawsOnTheFloor said...
Apr. 8, 2012 at 11:32 am:
I love this so much <3 
I can see why your teacher was worried ;)
 
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Epiclyawesome said...
Mar. 14, 2012 at 8:23 pm:
It's impressive that you were able to bring all that emotion and thought with so little words. It's great! If anyone wants to, could you please read my story? It's called The Story of the Demons. If you do, that would be great :)
 
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BT1718 said...
Mar. 7, 2012 at 12:39 pm:
that was good truly
 
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Lilac said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 8:00 pm:
Really good!
 
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herky said...
Dec. 7, 2011 at 1:47 pm:
LOL that is awesome!!!!!!!!!!! and a little creepy
 
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MirisaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 30, 2011 at 3:10 pm:
I like this. I like a little crazy in my bowl of Capn' Crunch!
 
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Labyrinth said...
Nov. 30, 2011 at 2:28 pm:
This is really good! I like the darkness but crazy people are the most fasacinating of us all! Why crazy people are the more fun!
 
PinkNinjaHater replied...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 7:04 am :
GREAT job I love your symbols and it was awesome...fantastic
 
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