Siren's Call | Teen Ink

Siren's Call

September 19, 2009
By Anj16 GOLD, Eagan, Minnesota
Anj16 GOLD, Eagan, Minnesota
19 articles 0 photos 74 comments

At the siren’s call came an immediate halt of universal noise, followed by the sinuous movement of earth wave; it shook, dusted off the empty shack, and finally, finally woke up the lazy man in the hammock.

It was a long call, the siren’s one, as it produced such a sweet, inviting sound that seemed ethereal and divine; it was almost a rule that nobody resist it. But how can one do so? That was a question to ask, as the voice, taunting now, lead the dazed man moving. The man didn’t know divine, for he was a sinner, a lonely deliverer of human error, but still he succumbed to the banal holiness of the voice, fell for it, until he was lured and mindless . . . charmed and claimed. Such was the intent of the voice.

And so he went to the origin of the sound, felt the incredible lightness as he put foot in front of foot. He didn’t feel the earth, though, only the air as he took slow drunken steps. So easy, so light, as if flying, the man had thought, and went on gaiting.

In his mind was the owner of the voice, a beautiful maiden whose snow-white hair fell willowy upon the small frame of her shoulders, then and again tousled by the adoring wind. It was a gentle picture that the man had conjured in his thoughts; it was tender and mysterious. It was once what he had lost, and now he swore to claim it and never let go again.

And so he walked and walked . . . walked and walked until he felt the pain move up from his feet and to his legs. The man didn’t mind one bit? his quest was worth more.

When he reached the place the voice hid in silence, produced a distressful atmosphere all around. Then there was the cast of moonbeams. They clashed onto the ground, merged as one brilliant white, and filmed the place with fairy-like glitters. His nervous heart fluttered at the sight of fantasy.

But bathed by the moonlight was a slender figure of a woman, a tiny shadow yards and yards away. Even from afar he was seduced. And so the man, being a creature weak from temptation, walked toward the mysterious woman.

It was when he was near that he regretted doing so.

Under the brilliant light of the moon was a woman showered with death stench, beneath her rested pools of blood, crept over the ground and scattered more. Their eyes met, held, then locked, and he saw sanguinity there, a kind of crazed desire and greed that turned his blood into ice.

The woman seemed to know of his thoughts as she smiled . . . smiled with the passion of death. And when the man started to run, she lunged furiously, outstripping the abrupt gust of wind.

It was midnight now as the owl screeched, as nightly predators went to hunt . . . and as the last bloodcurdling scream in the forest ended the man.


The author's comments:
Okay so this is one of my short stories. Basically this is all about a traditional siren and I hope you like it.

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This article has 37 comments.


OwenDark said...
on Feb. 12 2012 at 4:52 pm
OwenDark, Ellicott City, Maryland
0 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Too late."

You did your research!

on Feb. 12 2012 at 10:03 am
TheWrittenMe BRONZE, Prosser, Washington
3 articles 3 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you don't know me don't judge me.

Oh my god! This was amazing! I loved it! I didnt really like the cover but who cares about that? The end was so different than I would have thought, and it made your piece even better. This was great. I'm going to go read all of your writing now.

on Oct. 25 2011 at 10:36 pm
TheWriterGolfer BRONZE, Arcadia, California
1 article 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is merely a shell. It's what you do with it that cracks it.

I really like your use of description to describe the siren's singing. You capture the actual siren's image perfectly by descriing how beautiful she is and then how disgustingly ugly she is as well. Good job!

on Jul. 29 2011 at 10:05 am
Free_One PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 773 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I am not invincible or unstoppable, but I stay strong because it is the only way to survive in this world."

Nice story! keep writing!if anyone could go check out and post comments on my new article time, not space. That would be great! :) just click my user name! :)(:

on Jun. 15 2011 at 11:34 am
__horizon133 PLATINUM, Portage, Michigan
26 articles 0 photos 232 comments

Favorite Quote:
"laugh, and the world laughs with you. laugh hysterically, and for no apparent reason, and they will leave you alone." anonymous

slightly disturbing, but in a good, full way--the characters were realalistic and well written, and the senes were vivid and made me feel as though i was there.

on Sep. 24 2010 at 12:10 pm
elfen_girl BRONZE, Wilmslow, Other
3 articles 0 photos 53 comments

Favorite Quote:
K.I.S.S - Keep it simple stupid

i really liked how descriptive and undestanding u were, as if you what they were both feeling and thinking. loved it completely

on Jun. 3 2010 at 6:07 pm
V.T.Summers BRONZE, Longview, Washington
1 article 16 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Things rarely turn out as expected.

AWESOME!! you have talent

on Jun. 1 2010 at 4:32 pm
justsmile164 BRONZE, New York, New York
4 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Talent is nothing without character."

you have a talent for writing! nice job :)

darkvisions said...
on May. 25 2010 at 3:36 pm
darkvisions, White Plains, New York
0 articles 0 photos 21 comments
omg i loved this! creepy and intriguing at the same time, keep it up!!! :D

on Apr. 23 2010 at 11:46 am
meganleigh122 GOLD, Greeneville, Tennessee
13 articles 0 photos 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain."

i think that guy is so aggressive because he can't write like you. you are very talented, and no, i haven't looked at his stuff yet, but i think your an amazing writer. you should keep it up and not let people like him smash your creativity :)

on Jan. 25 2010 at 3:10 pm
Danceswithwords SILVER, Dennison, Ohio
7 articles 0 photos 2 comments
i was just kidding man

Anj16 GOLD said...
on Jan. 25 2010 at 2:41 pm
Anj16 GOLD, Eagan, Minnesota
19 articles 0 photos 74 comments
im still in school

on Dec. 12 2009 at 11:20 pm
matticus SILVER, Port St. Lucie, Florida
6 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Man is born to trouble as the sparks fly upward."

I thought that this was Awesome. I really liked the fact that the man got to see the true face of his killer at the end, instead of it just being him drowning like in some of the original siren tales.

on Dec. 12 2009 at 6:52 pm
Mariella BRONZE, Boise, Idaho
1 article 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Serve Him for whom you fight! [...] May none of you desert Him! Your baptism must be a shield; your faith a helmet; your charity a lance; your patience a suit of armor." ~St. Ignatius of Antioch, Martyr

It seemed pretty accurate to me. Plus, for the sake of originality, a few changes are good too sometimes---for example, if it fits the author's writing style better. I like this story more than other siren stories I've read. It's something different, and I like that. Good job with this story :)

on Dec. 12 2009 at 6:49 pm
Mariella BRONZE, Boise, Idaho
1 article 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Serve Him for whom you fight! [...] May none of you desert Him! Your baptism must be a shield; your faith a helmet; your charity a lance; your patience a suit of armor." ~St. Ignatius of Antioch, Martyr

I LOVE THIS. I've been toying with the idea of writing a novel about sirens, and your story has only inspired me more. Great job! I added your story as a favorite.

on Nov. 20 2009 at 12:27 pm
lightbearer GOLD, North Bloomfield, Ohio
15 articles 0 photos 19 comments
i have to agree. individualism is what writers do. your story telling skills seem good, but next time, use mythology as the 'back hand' source. let your mind and creativity draw its own conclusion. also, sirens are seductive, but you need to do more research. their included with nymphs, dryads, and other spirits of earth. just let creativity play its role. nice creature choice.

Anj16 GOLD said...
on Nov. 7 2009 at 12:16 pm
Anj16 GOLD, Eagan, Minnesota
19 articles 0 photos 74 comments
you came in this page commenting in that really aggressive tone of yours, told me that my siren lacks accuracy (which i think is really ridiculous considering that the only thing missing about my siren is that it should've been of water element) and now you blame me for rating your articles badly. i didn't even rate it. i only went to your poetry section to see if you're worth the talk. and why am i even defending myself?

derpyderp said...
on Nov. 6 2009 at 10:00 pm
I think his siren is pretty accurate.

Anj16 GOLD said...
on Nov. 6 2009 at 9:51 pm
Anj16 GOLD, Eagan, Minnesota
19 articles 0 photos 74 comments
and one last thing. if that single detail of siren being of the water is what ur complaining about, man you really are strange

Anj16 GOLD said...
on Nov. 6 2009 at 9:50 pm
Anj16 GOLD, Eagan, Minnesota
19 articles 0 photos 74 comments
there is no need to be so agressive. i tried to get my point across, and you took it as if im waging a war or something. and now u blame me on ranking ur articles. i didnt even rate it. i just commented on ur poetry section. and idc if the siren is of the water. i write my own stuff. if you don't like it then fine. you don't need to be so aggressive about it.


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