Easy? Well, no…. it never was. You just get used to it, that’s all. When it happens enough, you develop...almost an immunity to it. It’s the same story again – well…not quite. It’s the same ending. It’s just an anti-fairy-tale and the funny part is this: you grow immune to both once you see it enough. It’s over, you cry – maybe – you laugh a little…or not, you eat more, or you stop. Either way, everything’s just a tad out of whack and it’s always the same, rinse and repeat. And that’s just how it is, isn’t it? But of course, that smile, there’s always the smile. No one really knows but you do, don’t you? That “I’m alright, I’m holding on, I’m cool, I’m over it, It’s fine” kind of smile. But of course, you’re not…at least…I never am…not that I would tell anyone of course. That’s just how it works. You don’t tell…but I could never figure out why not. I guess maybe that just makes it a little too real? But after long enough, it becomes real enough anyways without having to tell anyone. You become all too aware of that hole, that absence that you just can’t seem to fill…maybe you’ll get busy…distracted perhaps, by something else…but it’s always there, isn’t it? And every single time you see them, you’re all too aware...you’re hyperaware...it’s not the same. How can it ever be the same again? That’s just not how it works, but of course….one can always hope…right? But then again…I’m hiding just as much as you are, no worries. In case you haven’t noticed, I might as well be writing this for me…in fact…I’m pretty sure I am….but of course….I’m writing it for you.
September 22, 2017