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Love Long Lost

I haven't seen you in a year, yet I can still see your eyes smiling into mine. I haven't heard your voice in awhile either, but I can still hear the rich sound of your laughter. I haven't kissed you for too long, and even though you're gone, I can still feel your kiss on my lips.

I loved you, and there is nothing in this world or the next that would mean more to me than to see you again, just to tell you how much you hurt me, and make you feel my pain.

I remember that trip we took, down to New York together. It was around October, and the leaves were beginning to fall. Almost every tree we walked by, a leaf caught in my unruly curls. After awhile we sat on a park bench, and you picked out the leaves while we laughed and talked.

We both knew what the other was thinking at all times, and I loved that you remembered everything I told you.

That last night in New York, you told me you loved me, and that nothing could ever separate a love like this. But then, not long after you said that, you were torn away from me. Was it her long blonde hair that caught your eye? Or maybe it was her long eyelashes. But I think it was that she was a new adventure. You had already won over my heart, and you had all of me at your disposal. She fell willingly into your plan, and I was so deliriously in love I didn't see it coming when the two of you left town.

You left two things behind though. The first was your favorite hat, the one you wore every day in New York. I still have that hat. Sometimes, when I'm thinking about you late at night, I hold it close to me and cry myself to sleep. But not even in the subconscious can I escape you. Your last kiss, your last 'I love you'. They all haunt my dreams like a scary movie. Your arms went from being the safest thing I knew, to the scariest place I could ever be.

You came back to town once last year. That girl wasn't there with you. She had come back to town almost a month before, in the same state of depression I was in. That was when I realized something. You may have been the love of my life, but I was just a pawn in your game. You lured me into love, and when it got boring, you ran to the next girl.

I never let you see me during your visit. The thought of our eyes locking once again was too tormenting even to think about.

Oh yeah, that second thing you left behind, you may wonder? That was my heartless body. You took my heart with you, because it still belonged to you, as it always will. I will never be able to love again, because the pain overpowers me. Even when I see someone smile at me, I think about your smile. I'm forever trapped in a relationship that is long gone. I used to think you would come back for me, that you still cared. But you never came, and I will probably spend the rest of my life waiting, hoping, to see you again.





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