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It's...Complicated

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“Do you love me?” His hands were pressed against my hips and my own against his shoulders. We stood there, not really dancing, but talking. His dark eyes gazing into my own. They taunted me. Built up a skyscraper of butterflies in my stomach. We’d known each other for all of a month. For a month we’d transformed from strangers to wherever we were at now. His soft lips repeated the question as a whisper. His warm breath brushing lightly against my ear.


“Do you love me?” I countered.


“Whenever I see you, I feel something deep inside me. Whenever I think of you, I can’t seem to rid of the thought. Whenever I talk to you, my words jumble. Whenever, you are perfect.” A smile spread across his face. “If I had to, I’d die for you, Miss Lizzy.”


My lips turned up into a smile. “I wouldn’t want you to do that. Who could I love if you were gone?”


His hands snaked up my back and pulled me closer. Or two bodies were one as his lips joined mine. Nothing in the world has ever felt more like love to me.

 

(Ten years, one marriage, and three children later)

 

“Do you hate me?” His hands were pressed against the leather suitcase. Mine ran across the sheet of our bed. We stood there, not fighting, but talking. His bloodshot eyes glared at my own. They burned up my insides. A fury of fire ants crashing down the skyscraper we’d built up over the years. For a month, it had been threats of divorce, sleeping on the couch, and petty disputes. His dry lips repeated the question as a moan. His warm breath only filling the air in front of him.


“Do you hate me?” I countered.    


“Whenever I see you, I want to yell. Scream. Whenever I think of you, I want one more drink. Whenever I talk to you, I only end up fueling the fire. Whenever, you are too much for me.” A frown replaced where a smile sat long ago. “If I had to, I’d die rather than spend another day here, Lizzy.”


My lips turned down into a frown matching his own. “I wouldn’t want you to do that. Who would help me raise our children if you were gone?”

 

His hands latched the suitcase to a close. I pulled the sheets over the mattress covering all the timeless memories and fun. Our two bodies never more distinct. Two hearts divided by words. Still, nothing in the world had ever felt more like love to me. 




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