A Missing Piece | Teen Ink

A Missing Piece

January 16, 2015
By Mo Gaffney SILVER, Park Ridge, Illinois
Mo Gaffney SILVER, Park Ridge, Illinois
5 articles 0 photos 0 comments

God, it’s Valentine’s Day again.  I see people everyday all over each other, I don’t need a day to celebrate my loneliness. I will only end up resorting to my loft, watching Netflix, and eating pounds of chocolate.  

“Taxi,” I scream over the noise of honking horns as I wave my hand.  The taxi pulls up to the curb and I begin to scoot into my seat, as I hear the slam of the opposite side door.

“Excuse me, I was in here first,” I retort.
“Abby,” the person asks.
“Justin,” I hesitantly reply.  This can’t be happening.  Heat begins rising from the pit of my stomach. I don’t know if I want to yell, slap, or stab him. 
“How have you been,” Justin cautiously asks.
“Is one of you getting out,” the taxi driver interrupts.
“He is,” I snap. 
“Why do I have to,” Justin questions.
“I was here first,” I answer.
“So, who is getting out,” the taxi driver interrupts as Justin and I glare to see who might give in and leave.  “Okay, then both you out.”
“We’re going to the same place anyway,” Justin begins.  “Trump Tower, please.”  The taxi driver merges into traffic as I try to ignore Justin.
“You never answered my question,” Justin persists.
“I don’t want to play this game,” I begin.  “You really think you deserve to be talked to after what happened last year.  Exactly a year from today.”
“I know it was cruel,” Justin says.
“Cruel is only the beginning,” I yell.  “Who breaks up with someone on Valentine’s Day?” 
“I’m sorry,” he mumbles. 
“Whatever,” I reply as I turn my head towards the window.   The ball of fire subsides and turns into sadness as I struggled to hold back the tears in my eyes.  I can’t let him see me cry.  I can’t let him see me broken.
“I made a mistake,” Justin says, interrupting the silence. I continue to ignore him, hoping he takes the hint.
“I don’t know how many times I can say sorry,” Justin begins.  “I made a mistake, Abby.  I’m human, people make mistakes.”
“A mistake,” I yell,  “You call that a mistake.  Every time I think of Valentine’s Day, I remember how you broke my heart into a million pieces.”
“You don’t think I remember,” Justin replies. 
My face burns with anger as I answer, “Oh, I know you remember.”
“Abby,” Justin whispers.  “ I still love you.”
I felt paralyzed as the words sunk in.  He can’t just say that.  He can’t just tell me he still loves me.  I began to speak, “Wha- what?”
“I still love you and I know I shouldn’t be forgiven, but I want a second chance” Justin begins.  “I was on my way over to see you.”
“Stop,” I say before he could speak more.  “I don’t want to hear this.”   Tears begin to softly flow down my cheeks.  Abby, you can’t feel this way.  He hurt you, but you know you still love him.  You love the way his blue eyes light up when he’s passionate about something. You love the way his chin rests perfectly on your head when he hugs you shielding you from all the pain.  But remember he caused you pain.  But he...
“Abby, please, I promise to never hurt you again,” Justin whimpers as I see tears welling in his eyes.  “I know I hurt you and believe me I hurt myself too.”
“That’s what you said the first time,” I snap as I try to control my waterfall of tears.  He doesn’t deserve to be forgiven; he doesn’t deserve my breath.  “Excuse me, are we almost to Trump Tower.”
“Traffic Jam, ma’am,” the taxi driver quickly replies, “about fifteen more minutes.”
“Abby,” Justin says.  Don’t look at him.  Abby, stay strong. 
“Abby,” Justin begins again, “I know you are upset, but can you please give me another chance.  I’m begging you.” 
“About five more minutes to Trump, ma’am,” the taxi driver interrupts.
“Thank you,” I reply.
“Abby, can you atleast talk to me,” Justin asks. 
“What do you want me to say,” I begin.  “Yeah, I still love you too, but I don’t trust you.  I need to move on and so should you.”
“But Abby I still love you,” Justin cries.  “I made a mistake and I’m asking for a chance to make it up to you.”
“If you still loved me, why would you break up with me,” I asked.  “If you still actually loved me, you wouldn’t have.”
“I loved you from the day we met,” Justin begins as tears continue to stream down his face.  “I didn’t realize how happy you made me, until we broke up.” 
“Then why wait a year,” I retort. 
“We’re here ma’am,” the taxi driver interrupts. 
“He’s got the fare,” I say as I hop out of the taxi. 
“Keep the change,” Justin says to the taxi man as he runs after me and grabs my arm.  “I thought you were too good for me, I felt I was holding you back.”
I look up and stare into his sky blue eyes.  I remember getting lost in those for hours, imagining my future with him. My walls came crashing down as Justin leans in.  My lips tingle sending a bolt of electricity through my whole body as our lips connect.  I could feel my body melting back into his as time stops around us. Memories of us replay in my mind like a movie, a smile radiates from my face until it ends with him smashing my heart. 
I pull away and whisper, “I can’t do this to myself.”
“But Abby,” Justin begins.
“I just finished picking up the pieces of my broken heart,” I interrupt. “It’s too fragile to even be tapped. I’m sorry.”  As I broke loose I felt an emptiness emerging.  I loved him, I still love him.  I reach the door and I could feel his longing gaze on my back. Open the door, Abby.  Come on, open it! I hesitate for several moments and more memories begin to fill my head. Our picnics in the park, my sister’s wedding we attended together last year, his keen ability to always know what I was thinking, and his unbelievable love for kids. As soon as those memories swarmed by brain I knew I could not walk through that door without regretting it and without at least giving him one more chance. 
“I still love you, Justin,” I begin as I run towards him.  “I know I’m terrified, but you are still holding the last missing piece of my heart.” 
He stands there, taking my hands without words.  Staring down with his soft blue eyes that begin to light up like the sun.  Honking horns surround us as my heart puts its last piece in place.



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