Lost {A Short Story} | Teen Ink

Lost {A Short Story}

September 18, 2014
By variant SILVER, Wright City, Missouri
variant SILVER, Wright City, Missouri
6 articles 6 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
What a slut time is, she screws everybody.
-John Green, The Fault In Our Stars


Written by variant

 

        A diamond ring was all she had left him. A goodbye to a life she didn't want. Conner snatched it off of the counter and held it in his palm, close to his chest. She had once been a single star in the darkness of his life; then she left, making his life a cold and pitch black night. He closed his fist around the ring, and held it above his heart. The ring had symbolized a promise of forever. It was a vow of his faith to her, and of his love for her. Until he broke his vow and rocked her world. Their life together became endless nights of screaming and crying. You can only apologize so many times before your words become empty.

 

        There was a time when she was his world; the sky to his planet, the stars to his universe. Willow was the beat to his heart, until their hearts stopped beating as one. Her eyes began to look back with sorrow and pain clouding them. Still, he was unfaithful. To Conner she was good, and pure. She was nothing like him; she wasn't a piece of trash, just waiting to be thrown away. She had stuck by him until his bullshit became too much to bear. Conner had known from the beginning he didn't deserve her. Though she is gone, his heart will always belong to Willow Johnson.

 

        As he stood there in his empty apartment the room began to swim, and swirl into black. He felt as if he were floating in the depths of the atmosphere. The feeling nausiated, him. He spun until he was left sitting in front of a man. He was old as time itself, and seemed to age every moment Conner blinked.

"Who are you?" Conner asked the man.

"I'm God," the man replied, in a soft spoken voice. The man seemed to look at Conner with such depth, wisdom, and devout faith that Conner could not deny this man his name.

"Why am I here?" Conner asked, gesturing towards the desk that God sat at.

"So I can guide you away from the path you are headed towards." God replied simply, nodding towards a picture that appeared in Conner's hand.

"But why?" Conner wondered. "Why are you so worried about my mistake?" He had not taken his eyes off the photo since it appeared in his hand.

"Because, you are my child; you are my creation. In the Bible, Isaiah 40:8 says, 'the grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever.' My word to you is to not give up on her. You are not trash, Conner, nor did I make you as so. I did not create my children as perfect, nor did I create them as imperfect. I created every single one of you with vulnerability, and strength. You are a child of light, and every light must fade before it burns bright once more. Your mistakes may be forgiven, but it is how you cherish the forgiveness that lights your world once again. What is it that you see in her?" God asked Conner, who didn't even have to think about it.

"I love her smile," he said remembering the warmth of it. "I love her laugh, the way she never tried to change me. I love her body, the sound of her cry. I love her long locks of auburn hair, and copper freckles that cover every inch of her. Honestly, now I love everything about her. She has barricaded herself so deep in my heart and my soul, I can't let go. She's a part of me. Willow has left her mark, that has branded me as hers." Conner told the aging man. He ran his fingers delicately over the photo, trying to mesmerize every inch of her body.

        God watched Conner with such kindness and wonder, like Conner's love for Willow put him in a daze. Until this moment Conner had never thought about Heaven and Hell. Now he believes they are as real as him.

"How did you feel when you lost her?" God asked Conner empathetically.

"It felt as if I were falling. My friends begged me to forget her, but my heart begged me to always remember her. The first time I ever saw her with another man, I felt as if I was dying. I've tried to call her and explain, but she won't pick up the phone." Conner whispered, clutching the picture of Willow tightly in his hand.

"Would you pickup the phone if you were her?" Conner thought about that for a moment: would he?

"No, I would not. But I need her, she's the only one who knows; the only one who understands. I can't lose her."

"Need and love are two different things Conner. Do you need her to make yourself feel less alone, or do you love her for all the good and bad that she might bring?"

"I-I," Conner stuttered. "I love her for everything." He answered with certainty.

"Then you must vow to me, to not let the darkness tempt you. One day you will self destruct, unless you promise to worship her, as one might worship me."

"I promise." Conner vowed, staring at the photo of the woman he loved.

"Then you must go to her." God said, before Conner's world began to shake and tumble once again. He closed his eyes this time, as he began to spin in circles. When his world stopped spinning, he opened his eyes once again. He was in front of Willow's apartment.

 

        The shades were pulled back, and he could make out two silhouettes from the darkness inside. One was was tall and stocky, while the other was small and lean. Conner had realized, just how late he was; how bad he messed up. It was in the moment he felt a rage boil inside him. She was with another man. His woman, was with another man! Then he looked down at the ring that appeared in his hand. She wasn't his anymore. His throat began to close up, and his eyes burned, but he did not cry. Instead, he let her go.

"Son, when you love someone, if the time comes, you let them go. If they come back, they're yours; if not, then they never were, and were never meant to be. I let your mother go, for so many years, then she came back." It is what his father had told him. If only his story would have a happy ending like theirs did. He left her and walked, eyes closed, anywhere God would take him.

        Only then did his body feel as if had been drenched in water. He opened his eyes and looked around. He was home.

"Con, what's wrong? God, you're sweating so bad. You must have a fevor." He had never been so happy to hear thst voice.

"Willow?" He asked.

"Yeah?"

"It is you." He whispered quietly.

"Of course it is, what's wrong with you?" He didn't answer. Instead he rolled over her, and kissed her hard. He had never been so happy in his life; but he was about to change that.

"I'm so sorry for all the s*** I've put you through. I swear to God I'll change. Never again will I make you feel like you're second place, or make you feel unwanted. I love you Willow Marie Johnson, will you marry me?"

        When she didn't answer him he felt his hopes drown within him.

"Willow?" He asked quietly.

"Yes." She replied.

"What?" Conner asked confused.

"Yes, I will marry you Conner." Then he kissed her, and slowly they fell asleep to the rhythm of each others hearts.

 

It wasn't until he woke up the next morning, that he realized he had never lost Willow. It had all been just a dream.

 

Love is a symbol of eternity. It wills out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end.


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