Magazine, website & books written by teens since 1989

My World

Custom User Avatar
More by this author
Headphones in, eyes closed. She swayed slightly and tapped her foot to the sound of the music in such a way that I could almost feel the beat inside me. She was across the street, sitting on a partially white bench with large spots where the paint had began to peel, revealing the natural wood. It was a cold day. The first truly cold day of the year. The sky was hazy overhead, threatening to burst open and sprinkle a dusting of early snow.
But she was dressed warm. Short hair peeking out underneath a black-knit cap, her delicate neck wrapped in an over-large blue scarf. She was stunning. She didn’t belong on the graffiti-covered, old gum-encrusted bench. But there she was, every morning at the same time, in that same spot, listening to music intently. The world was blurred around her, and she didn’t seem to notice it.
Some days she would bring a book with her. She was even more marvelous while concentrating, her head lowered, occasionally lifting her hand to tuck a loose strand of hair that had fallen in front of her face back into the hat.
The bus pulled up and I averted my eyes to look into the now luke-warm cup of black coffee. Without really thinking I took a sip, grimaced. I didn’t like warm coffee. The waitress was at the table now, looking across the street at the bus, one eyebrow raised. She asked me if I wanted her to refill my cup. I shook my head. She started to leave, then came back, her white tennis-shoe squeaking against the pea-soup colored tiles as she turned on her heel. She leaned forward, resting one hand on the table, the other on her hip. She looked slightly aged, perhaps from raising children, I guessed. But her eyes told a different story. They were large and youthful, deep brown.
“I see you in here every morning,” she said quietly, her eyes laughing like a child‘s. “Talk to her.” Her back was already turned to me before I could say anything, and I watched her disappear into the kitchen, then looked out the window. Too late. She was gone with the bus.
I pursed my lips and sighed, left the waitress a tip by the half-empty cold coffee. I gathered up my things, a ratty black computer bag full of paper and pens instead of a laptop, and the newspaper I had bought at a stand.
I tucked the newspaper under my arm and pushed open the glass door. The cold wind swirled against my face, kissing my cheeks red. My eyes focused on a flake of snow falling in front of me. I watched it, swirling slightly in the breeze, slowly until it touched the cracked sidewalk.
The world repositioned itself in front of me, suddenly covered in a whirlwind of white. I shoved my hands into my jacket pockets and started off down the street, drinking in the fresh scent that the new snow brought with it. Maybe tomorrow, I thought, turning the corner and leaving behind the little coffee shop.




Join the Discussion


This article has 56 comments. Post your own!

DallysGrrl said...
Feb. 6, 2010 at 12:05 pm:
WOW. That was really great. like, REALLY great. It is so strongly worded and sweet. You have a natural talent. WOW. Keep writing, please.
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
mckena said...
Jan. 15, 2010 at 10:46 pm:
I love it!!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
sleeplessdreamer said...
Jan. 15, 2010 at 8:07 pm:
Ok, anyone who complains about this piece because it's "incomplete" needs to suck it up. This is awesome just the way it ends. It's beauty is in the unsure ending. It's different and I love it. (Check out my work too! Sorry to loiter your posts with my ads!)
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
thepreechyteenager said...
Nov. 14, 2009 at 7:25 pm:
i really like this piece, and i don't think you should continue on it. i like it because it ISN"T finished, it's ending is left to be interpretted, (yes, i realize i spelled that wrong). i like pieces about things that seem insignificant, but infact are not. i like it because it's open ended, having an unfinished ending mades the story infnite
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Chelsea D. said...
Nov. 13, 2009 at 11:16 am:
Listen, if you don't like it the way it is, that's fine. I have a certain feeling about it, and I don't want to complete it. I'm satisfied with it the way it is, and that's what's important. I just don't want to finish it. Like I said, every time I try to, it messes with the whole feel of the story.
His problem is he cannot bring himself to talk to the girl.
To ME it is complete. It's done. That's just the way it is sometimes. It's ... (more »)
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Chelsea D. said...
Nov. 12, 2009 at 2:56 pm:
I never intended to finish it, honestly. I have been getting comments from people about writing more about the people, but I don't know where to go. The point is this: he procrastinates. He sees her everyday, he doesn't even know her, she just likes her, the way she moves; he wants to know her. I tried writing more to it when I first wrote it a year ago, and I've tried again, but none of it has felt right. I appreciate your feedback, but I don't know if it will ever be finish... (more »)
 
Olivia_B replied...
Nov. 12, 2009 at 5:35 pm :
How can the point be procrastination? Procrastination can't be a theme. There has to be something more, a problem, a conflict, something! What happens when he procrastinates? Why does he procrastinate? That's what it needs. It doesn't have to be a long addition. But all that aside why would you have put up something that wasn't complete? It just doesn't make any sense.
 
Chelsea D. replied...
Nov. 13, 2009 at 11:16 am :
Listen, if you don't like it the way it is, that's fine. I have a certain feeling about it, and I don't want to complete it. I'm satisfied with it the way it is, and that's what's important. I just don't want to finish it. Like I said, every time I try to, it messes with the whole feel of the story.
His problem is he cannot bring himself to talk to the girl.
To ME it is complete. It's done. That's just the way it is sometimes. It's no... (more »)
 
kindyxkandy replied...
Jan. 15, 2010 at 9:40 pm :
It's finished, its done. It wonderously lovely, and if you added more it would defeat the auro of the story. I really enjoyed reading this, keep writing your stories, and don't let anyone tell you when its done or not, your the author, only you will know. When you start molding your writing for others, thats when you become a sell out. Once again, great piece.
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Olivia_B said...
Nov. 10, 2009 at 7:10 pm:
I feel this story is incomplete. I know you have been getting many positive comments about this particular piece yet I cannot see why. You start stong and create a vivid image of your narrator but I sense no real conflict, no suspense. He's too scared to tell the girl how he feels. So what? You have to create a reason for me to care about him and his mystery woman. Would I care because he only has a certain amount of time to tell her before she moves/ he moves. Is she a childhood friend and... (more »)
 
writing101This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Nov. 10, 2009 at 10:50 pm :
i agree with Olivia_B. it does feel a little incomplete. this story needs to be longer
 
himu131195 replied...
Dec. 2, 2009 at 9:16 am :
the story is complete...IT DOESNT NEED AN END...its perfect!!
the guy's confusion and cowardness and longing is great..i like it..because now i can imagine wat happens 2morrow...
 
krzykrys replied...
Jan. 15, 2010 at 8:09 pm :
the end is perfect! you dont need to know what happens thats what makes it such a great little story, leaving the reader to decide if he gets the girl or not
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
sunsetfire94 said...
Nov. 10, 2009 at 5:09 pm:
This is really great! The ending is open ended though, so I'd love to read more, but I guess that's what makes it such a great story right?
 
Chelsea D. replied...
Nov. 12, 2009 at 2:58 pm :
That's kind of how I feel. I don't really want to finish it. Nothing I've written after this has felt right. It...disturbs it.
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
GlowingDarkness said...
Oct. 19, 2009 at 7:48 pm:
this is wonderful and you should def. write one in HER pov. Great job! :D
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Chelsea D. said...
Oct. 19, 2009 at 5:57 pm:
OR, I might put them both up. I'm not sure yet.
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Liv_2010 said...
Oct. 19, 2009 at 5:56 pm:
I loveeeee your writing! Apparently, I'm not the only one that like this article :)
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Chelsea D said...
Oct. 19, 2009 at 5:03 pm:
I suppose, because of the requests, that I'll write the next piece =]
But I need to know-should I continue it from his POV, or should I write in hers this time? Let's make this spimple, put Hers! for her POV, and His! for his POV. Whichever gets the most comments, I'll write it in that POV.
Thank you so much for all of the positive feedback!
Chelsea D.
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
tennisislovee34 said...
Oct. 19, 2009 at 2:04 pm:
I really like it but I'd love to hear more
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Site Feedback