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Neon Dreams

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Alone. Scared. Isn’t this what I had dreamed about ever since I can remember? I didn’t imagine this though. All these strange faces, the awkward looks and glances. What must I look like to these people? Just an awkward boy standing in the middle of a busy street in Tokyo, lost, staring, at all the lights he had dreamed about since he was a child.


Should I turn back? The airport is only a couple hundred meters away, but how did I get so far from it? I don’t remember walking. The crowd's pushing me. I desperately start looking for something familiar, directions to the airport, some sort of landmark, I find nothing. Holy crap, what do I do know? I’m stuck all alone in the busiest city in the world. How did I get in this mess? Where am I going to sleep tonight? Will I crawl in with the bums? But where are the bums at ? Are there any bums here? I can feel the hot tears rolling down my face. I’m all alone.


But then i see it, the striped sweater that has been etched in my memory since the first time I saw it. All the other faces seem to mix into one, all the once vibrant colors seem to fail, everything turns to gray. Except for him, he's much more vibrant and colorful than I thought possible, right now he is the only thing that matters. I start walking, in a daze. Is this just a result of seeing something familiar among the city lights? Or the fact that it's him? My heart starts thumping wildly, oxygen becomes harder to get a hold of, I can feel my face getting redder than the neon XXX sign across the street, I walk towards him, and he seems to have acknowledged me, I walk closer and closer. I’m standing a few feet away from him now I smile at him, and surprisingly he smiles back with that beautiful smile that has left me breathless from the first time i saw it, how could he still have this effect on me?


Nothing else seems to matter anymore, the lost, lonely feeling is gone all I feel is warmth, happiness for once. All seems right, I have seen his brilliant smile and that is all that matters. But a cold feeling is creeping upon me, engulfing me, everything is becoming less vivid. Everything is becoming dark, I cant see him anymore. No, I want to stay I don’t want to leave him no no NO. This cant be happening.

I was. Happy.

Am I dead now? I sure as hell feel dead, he's gone.


But what happened to the crowd? The loud pedestrians? What happened to him?
Am I losing consciousness?

No.

I'm gaining consciousness.

The colors are coming back, but they aren’t the same neon colors I had seen a couple of seconds ago, everything is quiet, everything is still cold.

It was all a dream.

He doesn’t know I exist and I definitely don't matter to him, it was all a dream, a creative wistful, figment of my imagination.

It was a beautiful dream.
But a dream nonetheless.



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