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I'm Not Your Angel

I sat on my bed yesterday. Listening to our song… at least that’s what you called it. You always said it described your every feeling about me.

“Angel, oh Angel, you have my heart. I’ll catch you when you fall down, when you fall apart. Angel, oh Angel, you have my soul. ‘Cause heaven knows when two halves make a whole.”

How could I have been so naïve as to believe you? How could I have let your every empty, meaningless, deceitful word mean something to me? Tell me. Are you happier? Are you happier now that she’s in your arms instead of me? You’d better be. I’m not usually one to be prejudice, but she’s going to squash your heart like a grape in the middle of the road. What do you see in her…? It’s because she’s prettier isn’t it? Well, that’s rich, recalling what you said to me that first day we met anyways.

**

I walked up to an old abandoned tree house I had found in the woods behind my house. I had been having a rough day and needed to blow off some steam. I started climbing the ladder when I heard something. Something that sounded like… music? I climbed a little higher, just enough to peek inside to see where it was coming from. That’s when I saw you. I saw you sitting there with your guitar… playing one of my favorite songs no less. It had just rained that morning so the steps were wet and my foot slipped. I let out a little gasp, as it scared me. I didn’t fall, but you saw me.
“Oh,” you began as you started to pack up your stuff, “is this your tree house? I am so sorry! I didn’t know!” I finished climbing up and put up a hand.
“No, it’s not my tree house.” I began as I sat down, “It used to belong to my neighbor before he moved. Nobody’s bought the house yet so I sneak out here when I can.”
“Oh… do you mind if I stay?”
“Not at all… I just crank up my headphones and ignore the world as I read my book anyways.” I said pulling out my ‘Twilight’ book and iPod.
“Okay then.” You sat back down and picked at your guitar. A few minutes passed before I heard you strumming out another one of my favorite songs: Forever in Love by Brighten. I unconsciously started singing along despite the other song I had playing in my headphones.
“You familiar with this song?” you asked.
“Huh?” I ask in confusion.
“You were singing along with my guitar.”
“I was…? Oh man…”
“No it’s okay… you were actually quite good.” I laughed before saying anything.
“I never caught your name, I’m Tessa.”
“I’m Jonas…” everything just took off from there. We started talking, and singing on some occasions.
“It’s hard for me to understand why you don’t have a boyfriend.” You said as it was starting to get late.
“Eh, guess I’m just not pretty enough for ‘em.” I said looking down.
“Well, I would never date an ugly girl…”
“Really not helping…”
“You didn’t let me finish. I would never date an ugly girl, because I believe there aren’t any.”
“Well, aren’t you a Don Juan Junior?”
“It comes naturally to me.” A moment of silence passed.
“It’s getting late, I really should be going.” I said grabbing my book-bag.
“Wait! When can I see you again?” you said grabbing my arm.
“How ‘bout tomorrow? After school?”
“Your wish is my command.”

**

We would meet up everyday after school. Just to talk. You told me I was the most beautiful girl on the planet… that every guy should consider himself lucky just to walk on the same continent as me. What a liar you are. How can you bare to look at yourself in the mirror every morning? I met my new neighbor today, she bought the house that the tree house belongs to. And guess what her dog’s name is? That’s right, you guessed it: Angel. Remember when you gave me that pet name? We had been seeing each other at the tree house for a couple months. It was the first day of summer holiday…

**

“Tessa!” you hollered from the ground below.
“Jonas, what are you doing?” I looked down from the tree house to see you standing there with your guitar and a bouquet of roses lying at your feet.
“Tessa Maria Trueman, I was up all of last night searching for the sheet music and then practicing this for you.”
“Let’s hear it.”
“Just so you know it describes how I feel about you in every word.” You removed your guitar pick and started to play. You remembered that the artist was one of my favorites. I sat there in the tree house looking down at you, wondering how I could be so lucky as to have you in my life. Or better yet, to know that you felt that way about me.
“I suppose you know the song title?” you hollered up.
“Yeah, it’s “Angel’s Song”.” I replied.
“Exactly.” you leaned your guitar against the tree before grabbing the bouquet and climbing the ladder.
“What do you mean “exactly”?” I ask when you reach me.
“Tessa, will you be my Angel?” you asked.
“You deserve better. I’m not all that pretty.”
“I told you I believe that there are no ugly girls,” you brushed my hair behind my ear, “You are amazing, Tessa, just the way you are. Now I’ll ask again… will you be my Angel?”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

**

After that, you called me Angel. That was your pet name for me… Angel. My mom found it adorable. I did too… until you dumped me. Now she’s your Angel, I’m just Tessa. Now I’m just somebody that you used to know. I thought you were my shining knight on his white horse… more like the exile on his dark horse… I knew everybody had a dark side, but yours is just sheer evil. You didn’t even break up with me before you started dating her… you two timed me… you two timed her. I would say that I hate you, but that’s not true. I don’t hate YOU; I just hate the things you DO. When you pass me in the halls it’s like you don’t even notice me. You played my heart strings like those of your guitar, you liar. I wrote this letter for you to tell you that I’ve moved on. I met someone who I can trust. Who loves me for my heart… my beautiful soul, as he likes to call it. Maybe you know him… Christofer… yeah… Christofer, your best friend. He was always there for me when you hurt me. In a way, he was my best friend too… I love him. I feel a different love for him than I thought I did for you… goodbye Jonas McLeay… have a nice life… and trust me… you’re going to miss me when I’m gone…

Note:
Lyrics from “Angel’s Song” by SayWeCanFly is copyright material. All credit goes to him. I take no credit for the lyrics.

The title “Forever In Love” by Brighten is copyright material. All credit goes to them. I take no credit.




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