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The Times that Bind

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I followed her, the sound of her lush soft voice broke the barrier between me and her. I spoke and heard a response. “My love, where have you gone.” She simply stared at me, her cold blue eyes, and her soft red hair it felt as though I could see my baby again. “Maybe, just maybe, one day you’ll be back in my arms.” I spoke all of these words to her, hoping for a response, but she just stared at me. Her spirit filled the room, engulfing it blossoming like a flower in the May. Even though she stayed silent, it still felt wondrous to know that some part of her was still with me, even if it was just a little.
I watched as she crawled her way across my ceiling, and she took me back to the day we met. I saw her from across the room and I had never seen something as precious as her. I had no courage, but I knew I needed her. So from across the room I carried myself into her eyesight. “Hello.” And that’s all it took, soon my want for her, erupted to a passion. Spending every day together for the past ten years.
She made her way across my ceiling, onto the wall in front of the door, where she showed me the day my first child was born. I watched as the doctors all gathered around Erra, as she entered into the world, breathing life. She was so precious. I couldn’t imagine my life with her; I didn’t know how things would change. She busted into my world, like a crash through a window and forever left an imprint on my life. But just as much as before she was born I couldn’t imagine life with a newborn, now its hard to imagine life without her. Even though every night for the past almost 4 years, she’s woken me up with cries for her father and mother, I still get scared at the thought of that sound leaving my life. But just as one great thing entered my life, I remembered another a time when things weren’t so great. When Erra was born, they discovered my then girlfriend had a disorder. A disorder that would forever shock, and shake this household.
But she wouldn’t let me think about the harm it’s done, she moved onward, away from that memory, and towards the television. Soon the news on the TV changed over to our wedding day, six years after the first day we met. The sun was out, everyone was merry. I met with her father beforehand. “You know this is such a happy day for our family?” He spoke to me. You could tell as much joy as it was bringing to their family and mine he still had doubt in his voice, doubt to let his daughter into the world, but he knew that we had a child, his granddaughter. Mommy and Daddy needed to both be present for their little girl. I watched as her gorgeous white gown dragged across the red carpet leading down the pathway. It was one of the first times in a long time that I’ve felt so alive.

Watching her floating around the room, was such a spiritual sight, she showed me times of our honeymoon, , the first family Christmas dinner, Erra’s first birthday, Disney world, all of the memories I hold dear to my heart. But at the last moment before she leaves, she floats back next to me. “No matter where I am, or where I go, know that I always love you. Keep those you love dear, and never forget the times you spend together. Don’t dwell on the past, embrace it, because even though today may be our last, I’ll always be watching over you.” She gave me one final kiss, and floated away, drifted off into the moon, and as I watched her disappear into the night, “I love you too my dear, goodnight.”



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