sweater weather: v

October 17, 2013
vii:lord knows
my whole life is a repeated pattern of mistakes and living ‘f's’. i’ve just screwed up haven’t i God? can’t you fix it? don’t you have the power to do this, and for once i’m not asking you too fix him, christ don’t fix him. i’m begging you to sew me back up and stitch me back into place.
i can’t keep going on hating my best friend, because i hate her, and i can’t keep living wanting to sew myself to you, no i can’t do that, because you’ve abandoned me for the last time and Canada is a vast place and lord knows i’d never find you after i leave here and i can’t continue to hide from society-mask my world behind a smile and tumblr gifs.
christ fix me, fix me, fix me; i’ve been crying for ten years, since i was seven and first tried to die yes satan starts that early, and since another one came in and swept me off my feet, yet left me on a the tile with my scarred up breast exposed and tears filling up the ocean.
and christ fix me, bless me, kiss me, take me into your realm and let these words get into you, because lord knows
i’ve screwed up

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