Dark Innocence

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He walked into my life innocently. I never saw him coming. Until this day, I don’t know what he saw in me. Why did he pick me? But I never questioned it until it he was gone. Until I was lost, confused, and all alone. Until I realized he had blinded me with his words. The sad thing is he never forced me to follow him. He was just so charming I couldn’t help myself but fall in deep with him. Since the first day he said hello, he knew what he was doing. His world moved so fast, I sometimes lost myself trying to keep up. Towards the end, I couldn’t tell the difference between a lie and the truth anymore. I realized I had gone downhill when I saw myself in the mirror. I didn’t recognize the girl looking back at me. I think he notice I was done. He saw how damaged I was and he knew it was his fault. But he didn’t care. Since the beginning, he knew this was how it would end. Instead of helping me, he left me in the dark. I didn’t see the light until I saw him with his arm around another girl. He was done with me and was off playing with his new shinny toy. I was nothing to him anymore. Just another girl he used for his own fun.
He seemed so innocent, but the reality was, I was the innocent one.

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TheUniverse said...
Dec. 11, 2013 at 3:22 pm
I love the ending, a lot of people I know go through this faze.  Its good to see someone write about it.
Hanban12 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 24, 2013 at 9:29 pm
Wow! My favorite part is the end where the narrator realizes that she is actually the innocent. This portrays the naiive mind of a growing teenager, and shows how innocence can also be maturity in another's eye. Very, very, VERY well done. A very great talent indeed.
Valery5 replied...
Oct. 1, 2013 at 3:37 pm
awe !!!! thanks a ton!!! that means so much to me :]
dbk1098 said...
Jun. 13, 2013 at 10:36 pm
This is great!!! I can see this happening to just about anyone! love the way you made your words powerful and that your work is relatable to other ppl! You desribed it sooooo well
HazelGrace said...
Jun. 10, 2013 at 11:52 pm
This is nice and relatable. I think your writing style could use to be a bit more sophisticated, but that will come with practice. I usually don't read fiction, but I like this! Good work.
Valery5 replied...
Oct. 1, 2013 at 3:38 pm
thank you and yeah i try so hard to make it a little bit more sophisticated but i guess i'm not there yet
Stuck_In_Madness said...
May 20, 2013 at 3:05 pm
SO i loved this line, "The sad thing is he never forced me to follow him. He was just so charming I couldn’t help myself but fall in deep with him." because i totally understand where youre coming from and what you mean when you say fall deep and i liked your flow through the poem, because it made it easy to understand and not hard to follow so BRAVO. im not usually a fan of this kind of poetry being a rhymer myself, but i really quite enjoyed this. you should work on getting... (more »)
Valery5 replied...
Oct. 1, 2013 at 3:40 pm
thank you! getting this published would be a dream lol
Scribbleaway. said...
May 17, 2013 at 1:52 am
This is so great. What I like the most is the way you have described him. 
Valery5 replied...
Oct. 1, 2013 at 3:42 pm
describing the guy on paper was hard for me lol but thank you so much for your comment and i'm glad you liked it :]
Fallenoutofgrace said...
Apr. 29, 2013 at 8:23 pm
this is soo relatable its uncanny its heartbreaking sweet and amazing i lvoe your word choice and how you flow'd it together like your telling a story :3
Valery5 replied...
May 8, 2013 at 11:58 am
thanks for your comment i won't lie the choice of words was what took me a while writing this. I really wanted it to flow prefectly so i really thank you for your comment :]
ItsJustV said...
Apr. 27, 2013 at 2:59 pm
This is great and so relatable to many other girls. The only grammar issue I noticed is that you spelled shiny wrong. Otherwise, I love how you portrayed a real-life and widespread heartbreak. Great job!
Valery5 replied...
May 8, 2013 at 11:56 am
i didn't even notice that  error 0.0 thanks for your comment! 
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