I never thought anything like this would happen to me, not that I would get this far, or that I got what I got, but that I would fall in love in the first place, my heart aches and I wish I never had, for if I never had met him, maybe I would be a different person, but something inside tells me I would not be a better person. I gave him everything, and he only teased me, like he is a puppet master and I am just another doll in his game, even after I stopped pretending, took off my mask witch always had a smile dawned on it, and tried to show him who I was. He replied to this, when he did acknowledge my attempts to open up to him, with confusion. I told him I love him, a term he knows pains me to say, I guess I should be glad with a good friend, and be lucky he "graces" me with his presence at all. A tear rolls down onto my pillow every night I lay awake thinking about it, but maybe It's time to stop thinking about it, to stop being the fool who loves a monster? But how could I, when I'm already hooked?
March 27, 2012