Shades of Gray

February 10, 2012
By FluteFreak SILVER, Auburn, Indiana
FluteFreak SILVER, Auburn, Indiana
8 articles 0 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Insanity just adds a little spice to life!" -Me


Your hands caress me. Softly. Like you always do. It's almost like you're afraid of breaking me. But you're not. I know you're not. We've been through too much for you to be afraid.
This time you're different, though, distant almost. Absentminded. Like you are afraid – or nervous. What do you have to be nervous of, my love? We've been through so much. How can you be nervous?
You draw away from me and I almost miss the words your lips form. Almost. But I hear enough. My heart cracks. How can you even conceive of this thing? We've been through so much. I ask what you mean and you repeat the words. Those heart-breaking tear-jerking words. Then you walk away; ignoring the shattered debris you leave in your wake.
My mind is reeling. How could you? I can feel my world crumbling, disintegrating around me. My knees shake and I stumble over to a bench. The bell rings, but I ignore it. Red bits, like pieces of shattered glass, act like shrapnel in my chest. How could you?
A month passes in slow spurts, yet a hole still remains. Black as night, it sucks out any light. I stumble whenever I see you. You won't even look at me. My friends call you a jerk and other, more profane names. But you weren't any of those when we—when we were together. I still can't think of it without crying. How could you? How?
You're friends tease you whenever I pass by. You simply shrug at their jabs. I… I suppose you didn't think much of the social repercussions your decision would have.
Yet, life goes on, a dull gray comparison to the color of what I once led. And another month slips by, seemingly faster than the last. I don't cry – often – anymore. I can walk properly now. My heart jerks whenever I see you, though. How—how could you?



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This article has 18 comments.


on May. 23 2012 at 4:52 pm
Atl.Braves03 BRONZE, Tampa, FL, Florida
4 articles 0 photos 77 comments

Favorite Quote:
God is God and I am not
I can only see a part
Of this picture he's painting
God is God and I am man
I will never understand
Because only God is God

I really liked the use of "how could you." It shows the reader what the character is feeling and what the audience should be focusing on. My only advise would be to try to add more compound and complex sentences into the article. They help the work flow together better. 

Darbs1325 GOLD said...
on May. 21 2012 at 6:20 pm
Darbs1325 GOLD, Columbus, Georgia
15 articles 0 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is a reflection of intent....love reflects love....hate reflects hate....-Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When the world puts you down, keep your head up!-Anonymous?

Stupendous, it was very sad...  and well written.. keep up the Great work... :D 

on May. 19 2012 at 11:39 am
boringbrunette BRONZE, Hahaha, Illinois
2 articles 0 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
either lead me, follow me, or get outta my way!!! (if i could so humbly implore you)

it was a little sad... but it was great!

on May. 2 2012 at 7:00 am
Itsbeenalongday SILVER, Hendersonville, North Carolina
7 articles 0 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
The Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time!

This was very sad but well written

on Apr. 26 2012 at 4:58 pm
Bookwizard PLATINUM, Watertown, New York
38 articles 0 photos 53 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you love something, let it go. If it comes back it was always yours, if it doesn't it never was.

Great story! I swore it was a poem when I started haha but it was really perfect.

elizamc83 GOLD said...
on Apr. 26 2012 at 4:11 pm
elizamc83 GOLD, Concord, Massachusetts
17 articles 0 photos 84 comments

Favorite Quote:
"From now on, I don't care if my tea leaves spell 'Die, Ron, die,' I'm chucking them in the bin where they belong." -Ron Weasley

i love this! it's really descriptive without being boring, and her feelings seem really realistic. nice job :)

on Apr. 23 2012 at 4:22 pm
Writer_Jordan GOLD, Ellicott City, Maryland
15 articles 0 photos 183 comments

Favorite Quote:
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.

Beautiful story--I can see it in poetry form as well! thankfully ive never been in a breakup yett

SElahi BRONZE said...
on Apr. 19 2012 at 6:03 pm
SElahi BRONZE, Burr Ridge, Illinois
4 articles 1 photo 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

Please also read and rate my story, "Hot Chocolate and Hope". Thanks in advance!

SElahi BRONZE said...
on Apr. 19 2012 at 6:02 pm
SElahi BRONZE, Burr Ridge, Illinois
4 articles 1 photo 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

Great story! It was easy to feel the emotions of the narrator. I'd love to read more of your writing; keep up the good work!

ShadowRealms said...
on Apr. 19 2012 at 1:09 pm
Amazing! Beautiful and heartbreaking all in one. Your imagery was quite masterful and it felt as if it was actually happening to me. You MADE IT REAL. Keep up the writing, I loved it! 

ShadowRealms said...
on Apr. 19 2012 at 1:09 pm
Amazing! Beautiful and heartbreaking all in one. Your imagery was quite masterful and it felt as if it was actually happening to me. You MADE IT REAL. Keep up the writing, I loved it! 

on Apr. 6 2012 at 10:32 am
Logan_Elizabeth28 BRONZE, Willard, Ohio
4 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
Just Promise Me You'll Think Of Me Everytime You Look Up In The Sky And See A Star
-Eminem
"You're The Beautiful One, It's Society That's Ugly"
-Marilyn Monroe
"Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock!"
-The Big Bang Theory

This is amazing. It was constructed beautifully, I felt the emotion. I Think this is a really good piece. Good Job :)

on Mar. 14 2012 at 6:58 pm
JesusFreak3 SILVER, Highlands Ranch, Colorado
6 articles 0 photos 33 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When everything around me falls to pieces, I've got something more in my life. When I'm broken only God completes me."
Krystal Meyers
"God is love"
--Bible
"An eye for an eye makes everyone blind."
--Gandhi

This was awesome. This describes how  so many of us feel and the emotion was clear. You have a really cool style like someone said. I hope this gets published in the magazinge! Really good.

on Mar. 3 2012 at 9:53 am
EPluribusUnum DIAMOND, Woodbine, Maryland
59 articles 24 photos 280 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head)."
-Sylvia Plath

This was really good, I especially liked your use of repetition. You have a really neat style.

on Mar. 2 2012 at 3:06 pm
LoonyLoopyLupin GOLD, Raynham, Massachusetts
13 articles 0 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I am proud of who I am. I believe in what I do." -Pavel Chekov (Star Trek The Original Series, episode: "The Way To Eden")

This is so emotional... and it felt so personal, like a memoir. I really like it. Fantastic job!

on Feb. 17 2012 at 10:09 pm
PhoenixCrossing GOLD, Tinley Park, Illinois
14 articles 0 photos 179 comments
Woah, this is deep. I love it! It's the perfect length and I really enjoy the concept combined with your style of writing. Great job!

on Feb. 17 2012 at 4:17 pm
Calliashi SILVER, Litchfield Park, Arizona
6 articles 0 photos 74 comments

Favorite Quote:
The man with the key is king and honey, you should see me in a crown. ~James Moriarty

Wow. Wonderful! Poetic. It's a great story! :)

on Feb. 16 2012 at 7:45 pm
SteelJam BRONZE, Cheswick, Pennsylvania
3 articles 1 photo 19 comments
Hi, I really liked the emotion behind this! It was really deep, but I think that you could stretch out the moment when he breaks up with her just a little bit more, but beside that, I could REALLY feel what this girl was feeling; I could feel her pain, and how she's trying to be brave, but she's still sad. I love it.


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