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The Mist on the Mirror

'So, why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie, what you are keeping inside
This is not how you want it to be'

To elude yet another acrid memory that would haunt my mind forever might have been hard but this, this was just harder. Because living through all of this just caused a strange feeling to sear through my heart and leave it broken into pieces. And nothing more; not even a sigh of relief when it goes.
So now, I sit by him and watch his skin harden and his lips ashen and his face drain of all the colours it once possessed and its place, a deathly glow. I reach out for his hand and hold it tight, something inside me whispered he wouldn't feel the difference anymore. I lean over and plant a kiss lightly on his forehead, still not even a stir in his pace. When once even my touch would leave him crazy and unbalanced..now even my kiss means nothing no more. Now I am lying on the bed with his picture next to me, starting to realize that when he said he would love me forever, this was actually how it was going to be, I guess I didn’t want it anymore then. Living in that present would have filled my heart with everything required for a lifetime. I close my eyes as i start to sense the tears forming behind my eyes and gulp, knowing that this was the end.
I thought of all those little things I was asked to let go of, things that even the part of me that was now ready to move on could never forget. Wishing little that I could take him back to the past and smile again. But that wouldn't work anymore. I fell in love and now that he broke my heart; I'm just standing there, hanging onto what was left.
I pick myself up from those clean bed sheets and walk towards the bath. I turn the faucet around and leave the hot water on. I breathe in, taking up the sultry steam and the warmth in its feel. Wasting no time, I slip in with my shirt and jeans, letting the fabric soak in the familiar warmth. I lay my head back and wonder whether little breaks like this is actually what happiness is really all about. I look to my side at my reflection in the mirror and press my lips together in a half-smile. Gradually, the steam clouds my reflection and when I close my eyes in the realization of my defeat, something reminds me of him. I shake my head and rise to get out except when I do, I notice blood trickling down my fingers. I look at the water, the drops of blood that fell, ripple slowly down towards my feet. I hadn't realized when I had hurt myself amidst all that. Tears slowly joined the flow of water and blood and there it went. I step out of the tub and turn the faucet around once more. I waited for the blood and the tears to be drained out but as it did, I saw a little chip of glass. I looked at my finger, the cut was still fresh.
Great.
I walked to the mirror above the basin and wiped the steam off with my wet sleeve. The mist still stuck. I let go of it in a while and trotted off to where he was sleeping, in his room. Still wet and careless, I crept in bed, under the sheets and wrapped my arms around him. A minute later, he woke up and found me there. And i was out within seconds with yet another gash across my face and another cut through the pieces of my heart.
I tried to dry myself and then...just sat in the kitchen, with arms over my wet hair and knees buckled to my chest. A while later, I peeked out the window, it was almost dawn. I had begun to yawn. And as i crossed the bathroom to get to my room, I realized I had kept the lights on. I walked in and just as I was about to turn the lights off, I found the water that was in the tub drained and the mist on the mirror slowly clearing. I realized that's how life was, as unclear as it was, it was also the most unheavenly combination...it was a blissful haze that caused all pain to sublime in its mist and finally hit a sharp piece of glass in the end. Yet all along, before the mist, you thought you saw your happy ending from far far back when actually you later realize, the glass at the end was just a mere reflection that mocked your happiness.
I run my finger down my ending on the other side of the mist and find an irregularly surfaced edge on its side. I look closer and observe a small chip had broken off my mirror. I stare down at the healing cut across my finger; I smile...oh the mist.
'So, why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie, what you are keeping inside
This is not how you want it to be
So baby, I'll wait for you'




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ShagunThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 7 at 12:27 pm:
I wonder why you don't get more comments. Intensely poetic...very beautiful 
 
 
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