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Nothing more, nothing less...

I woke up this morning, not wanting to get up, knowing that somewhere you were out with another girl. Perhaps you aren’t out. Perhaps you are home and she lies next to you sleeping soundly. I feel stupid, pitiful, and an overwhelming sadness fills me. As I lay in bed this morning I cried. Remaining silent, not wanting to let my family hear the heart wrenching sobs, that were trying to claw their way up my throat.
I think maybe he’s not with another girl. Maybe he’s sleeping. Maybe he’s busy. Maybe, maybe…I fumble for excuses for you. But none come to mind. Whether you’re with another girl or not, one thing has become clear. I’m not as important to you as you are to me. I was just someone who you were once entranced with but am now nothing more than another number in your phone.
I had gotten out of bed and pretended nothing was wrong. That my world did not feel like it had betrayed me that I was not losing the man that I loved. I pretended that everything was normal, though I knew that this time would come where we would have to go our separate ways. The thought filled me with dread. I had always thought I was going to be the one to break your heart. I had come to terms with that. But I did not expect you to be the one to break my heart.
I think back to just a few weeks ago when you had text me every morning, every evening, every time that I went onto break at work. Now, I’m lucky if I get a text from you at least once a day. Maybe you think that because I’m yours, you don’t need to continue the things that you once did to capture my attention and love. The thought brings tears to my eyes. That the man I fell in love with is just a façade.

Nothing more, nothing less…



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