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A Letter to my Sister's Future Boyfriend

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Greetings!


For dating my dear little sister, you must be either a very special man or a complete creep who wants to take advantage of her. If you are her first boyfriend, then I suspect it is the latter. All you have to do to disprove my theory is visit our family! If my sister has conned you into deciding to meet us, then you are either very brave or very stupid. Again, I suspect it is the latter.


Anyway, I guess you should know what to expect.


As soon as your vehicle pulls into our driveway, you will be watched. If you are even mildly aware of your surroundings, you will see three short, dark-skinned men in military gear. These are three of the seasonal Filipino workers we employ on our apiary. One of them will be armed with a pellet gun and another will be armed with my dad’s bear hunting rifle. The last one doesn’t need a gun; he’s a bull wrestler. While these three men are dangerous, they aren’t the ones you need to worry about.


At our front door you will be greeted by dad and his double-barrel shotgun. One barrel is filled with rock salt and bacon rind while the other has an actual shell. This is a warning as to what will happen if you break her heart. Still, dad is not the one you should be the most afraid of.


No, the person you should fear most is my mother. She has the aura of a military general and the ruthless streak of a Mafia boss. It is a rare young man that is not intimidated by her. Personally, I don’t think you are one of these rare men.


But if you love my little sister despite her psychotic family, you do indeed deserve her love. If you stick around long enough to marry her, then maybe I can accept you as my brother-in-law. Maybe.



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kamkitThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 6 at 10:56 pm:
This sounds like my family LOL
 
CarrieAnn13This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 19 at 1:49 am :
I think everyone can relate to this on some level. :)
 
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DelmaraThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 31 at 3:06 pm:
Whoa, do I wish I'd seen this a couple years back. I could've scared the living daylights out of a couple guys who dared to date my sister! This is really good! I absolutely love your descriptions. You should write one of these for a potential girlfriend for a brother. But of course a girl would react differently to this kind of letter. As you said, the mother's the scariest!
 
CarrieAnn13This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 19 at 1:48 am :
A word of advice to all men meeting their girlfriend's family: watch out for the mother.  They are ALWAYS the scariest. ;) Thank you for the suggestion and thanks for the thoughtful comment!
 
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catwithglassesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 24 at 8:25 pm:
This is FANTASTIC!! It is so funny! I loved reading it. Keep writing. 
 
CarrieAnn13This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 19 at 1:47 am :
I'm glad you thought it was funny and enjoyed it so much!  Thanks for commenting. :)
 
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DawnieRaeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 19 at 4:42 pm:
This was really good! Keep writing I love the way you write!
 
CarrieAnn13This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 19 at 1:47 am :
Thank you! :)
 
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Shaas_It_is..This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 16 at 9:44 am:
Humorous and exactly the way i'd warn my sister's boyfriend.. :) Nice work.. Keep writing.. :)
 
CarrieAnn13This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 16 at 3:03 pm :
Thank you! :)
 
hippiechildThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 12 at 7:57 am :
I loved this! It's so cute and I can totally relate to being a bit protective over my little sister. Thanks for the the funny and well written story. Your writing has a certain feeling about it that is very unique!
 
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Call_Me_AriaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 14 at 11:47 am:
Loved it! Perfect description of what a guy has to go through to date a girl in some families. It was humorous and your attention to details made me read it right through to the end (which is rare, because I get bored kind of easily -.-)
 
CarrieAnn13This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 16 at 3:02 pm :
That's great that you enjoyed my piece so much!  Thank you. :)
 
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RunnergirlAlliThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 12 at 11:32 am:
I, too, am a big sister. I completely understand where you're coming from here. I LOVE this piece. You are a great writer! Keep up the good work. :)
 
CarrieAnn13This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 16 at 3:01 pm :
Thanks!  It's part of the big-sister job description, isn't it?
 
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lovebassThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 2 at 12:20 pm:
That's great! ( Reminds me of what I would say to my little sister's boyfriend!)
 
CarrieAnn13This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 16 at 3:01 pm :
Thank you! :)
 
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emmernemmerThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 28 at 3:09 pm:
I love this story! I don't have a little sister but I have a little brother and I KNOW I'll have to talk to him someday on not being an idiot with girls/not to take advantage of them. I can just see him running home one day and explaining that he just got chased out of someone's house by a dad with a shotgun. I love my brother but he really needs that to happen to him. Love it!
 
CarrieAnn13This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
May 30 at 1:30 am :
Honestly, I think that's a conversation every girl should be required to have with her brother: treat girls with respect.  You're an awesome big sister. :)  Thanks for commenting!
 
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sadhya said...
May 24 at 4:08 am:
a different one indeed nice!
 
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