I sometimes find myself sitting on my bed, staring at the sheets, and listening to the pitter-patter of raindrops falling across my window. I don’t know how it happens – or why, really – but each time, my thoughts wander to you. I can’t help but think about what you’re thinking, what you’re doing, and why. I want to hear what you’re saying to yourself when you’re talking to me. I want to know what you see in her, and why you haven’t given up – in either of us – in both of us. Thinking, constantly, how it is possible that a girl like me can stand so close to you without you wanting to push her away. I want to know everything, all the time. I want to know that, when you text me, is it because you have nothing better to do, or did you sincerely miss me? Will you miss me this summer? Because I will miss you; I’ll even miss you in the fall, when I see you every day again. When the days become longer for you because of added homework and stress, they’ll become shorter for me because I know you’re there. Even if you’re not with me as often as I’d like and even if, sometimes, I start to wonder if you really care. Then you look at me; you look deep into my eyes like you’re somehow peering through them, and deep into my soul. Then, at moments like that is when I know that, in the end, I really don’t care if I care more than you. I don’t care if you walk away from me today, and come back again tomorrow without a reason why. I don’t care. I. Don’t. Care; All I care about is that the feelings I have towards you never go away because I’ve never felt something so great and strong, and even though you drive me insane sometimes – even though, at times, you make me feel like yelling, and screaming, and banging on the piano keys – I don’t want it to ever go away and I’d trade everything I have to be able to feel this way – like I have at least some small part of you – for the rest of my life. I’d make the trade any-day.
Deep thoughts of you
June 21, 2011