Secrets Hurt | Teen Ink

Secrets Hurt

June 5, 2011
By Anonymous

The breeze ruffled Tristan’s hair slightly. He was standing on the edge of a cliff; it was not very steep at the bottom a lazy river flowed slowly. He has a lot to think about. He walked down to the water, the weather was mild, on a warmer day he would have gone swimming, and the solitary quiet world the water created when he was submerged always helped him think. He walked through the shallow waters the water swirling around his feet. The song he was listening to ended, then began once more.

On the other bank, sitting in the waters was a girl watching him. She was fourteen, but she was still three years younger. She had a crush on him since fourth grade, but she had convinced herself that she had no chance, but simple conversation with him could brighten any day, no matter how bad it was. Just knowing he was in the room her heart beat faster even if she couldn’t see him. At the present her heart was beating so fast and loud she feared he could hear it, but his music was on loud enough to prevent that. Unbeknownst to her, he was thinking about her. He always enjoyed her company; she was funny and somewhat pretty. He has a crush on a girl in his grade, but now he thought he might have a crush on her too, despite the age difference. The light was dimming and the sunset put a pink light on everything. In a perfect world they could tell each other every thing, how they feel. But the world isn’t perfect, is it? So they must hide it. Keep secrets. Tell lies. Cover it up. What would happen if they said something? The other would feel the same and they would live happily ever after. But fearing rejection Tristan turned and went home. The song echoing in his ears, “hiding away losing the day as if it ever really mattered.” and so they keep secrets and the girl in the grass for ever wonders…

The girl is now sitting alone on the banks of the river. She is now listening to her headphones thinking. Tristan has a date to night. Her other crush does not like like her. Not a good day. Tristan walks up behind her. Even though the street is not paved and full of rocks. The music once again keeps the other one unaware them. It’s getting late and the light is making the girl’s normally brown hair is turned slightly red. She turns to go home. Tristan is standing there. They just stare at each other for a long time. Finally she walks past him going home. Not a word is spoken between them. She keeps on walking. Watching her leave Tristan almost says something but he doesn’t. It’s funny what we as humans fear. As children we fear monsters under our bed no matter how many times we’ve looked under it. As we get older we might fear heights, plane rides, or spiders even though we are probably 10 times bigger, or maybe even snakes even though it’s just a 6 inch garden snake. Even though we may still fear the itsy bitsy spider we fear rejection, or saying the wrong thing. Even older we fear death. So Tristan swallows his comment and the girl walks home a silent tear runs down her face. Tristan turns to sit by the water. The girl looks back another day another secret. What is wrong with us?

The girl is backstage. Nervous extremely nervous. She peaks out for behind the heavy blue curtain. Just as he walks in, funny how stuff like that happens.
He sits down. He loves music, she knows that. He listens to this song sometimes too, she also knows this. She turns back to the dark wings of the stage. For a moment she is alone.

The announcer says her name. It’s not to late to back out. She walks out on to the stage. She sees Tristan in the audience. His eyes are glued on to her. Now it’s too late to turn back… so with no other alternate she sings.

It’s now after the show. Tristan almost congratulated her. But didn’t. She was amazing; he liked her more than ever now. His heart was now beating as fast and loud as hers was the day at the river. His family is leaving he turns reluctantly to leave has well. The girl looks up as he leaves. Who knows maybe they will see each other at the lazy river. You never know, fate can be funny.

The end of vacation comes around to find the girl starring out her bedroom window. A car drives down the quiet street. Finally, he’s back. Tristan is home at last. He walks around to the trunk, grabs a bag and heads in side. She looks up to the familiar window. With in a few seconds he enters the room, turns on the light, drops the large bag, topping all that off by collapsing on his bed.

Wow, when he left he did no˜t think he would miss her as much as he did. He sits up, propping himself on the window he looks out his window. Her light is on. And there she is sitting at her computer. He pauses and thinks it threw. He gets up and logs on to his computer. Clicks the Internet logo, and presto his home page, her freeweb page he clicks on the guestbook tab and writes
*You there?
Back at her house the girl was editing her site. And saw Tristan’s message.
*Back so soon?
She typed
*Ya well, life at home is so exciting we just had to come home.
He answered
*Oh ya too bad though you missed it.
She teased
*Oh and what exciting event did I miss
He asked
*A car took a wrong turn and actually went down our street.
She typed
*No way like OMG
He answered
*Hey
*It’s not nice to make fun of your sister.
She answered.
At Tristan’s house his mother called him down stairs.
The girl how ever was satisfied with that conversation and went to bed. Funny something so simple as a conversation could brighten her day, week, and thanksgiving. Maybe Monday she might show him the portrait of him she drew. But probably not. Stupid irrational fears. But at least their secret is still safe. Right? Right? No. Wrong. Very Wrong.

“Lucky you.” She said handing Tristan the house key.
“ya, now if only I can remember my house key!”
“at least your mom and my mom traded house keys.” She said. There mothers were both very close friends since the seventh grade. So they each had a house key to the other house. Which was good for they were always forgetting theirs.
“Ya well, I need to get home. Alessa is coming over sooo.” He said
“Oh right, well bye.” She said flustered by him mentioning his girlfriend’s name. She dropped the house key in to his hand. He left. She glanced out side. It was snowing lightly. But not in Boston where it was a full out storm. the small flakes landed in Tristan’s hair as he walked across the street. His girlfriends car pulled up has he opened the door.

Studying. Right. The girl turned to her homework.
“In 1209, Innocent, aided by Philip II, launched a brutal crusade, or holy war, against the Albigensians in southern France. The Albigensians wanted to purify the Church and return to the simple ways of early Christianity. Tens of thousands of people were slaughtered in the Albigensian Crusade.”
Was this supposed to be fun? In frustration she slammed the large book shut. She went upstairs to get ready for Tristan’s family’s Christmas party. Tristan would have too be Santa, because his dad was snowed in at an airport in new York. How would she be able to miss that? On her way up the stairs. She caught sight of Tristan and his girlfriend turning on his Christmas tree. Her house seemed lonely now. But she put that from her mind has she headed for her room. The empty house was quiet and still. Awaiting disaster.

Later at the party it was snowing harder. The noises from downstairs echoed up to the bed room. The girl was putting on Santa’s beard. Rosing his cheeks. Fattening his belly so on and so forth. In the corner “Mrs. clause” checked her wig in the mirror. Though she was dressed more like “Santa baby” than the grandmotherly lady you probably pictured. Ho ho ho indeed.
“There” the girl said “your all set.” She stepped back to admire her work.
“Thanks” he said then turned to address Alessa
“Are you ready to bring joy to the children of the world”
“Sure” she said bored. Tristan grabbed a sack with a wrapped gift for each kid under 10. The girl sighed. She sat on his bed, the room was empty now quiet. She could see her bedroom window from were she sat. She remembered all those times she looked across the street to see him sitting right where she was. The laughter and cheers coming from down stairs broke the silence. Santa and Mrs. Clause must have made their entrance.
“Ho ho ho” Tristan boomed exactly as they had practiced. She thought of Alessa’s outfit again
“Ho ho ho” she chuckled and made her way down stairs. Just as she was leaving she noticed a small red box with a silver bow.

To: Tommy
Love: Santa and Mrs. Clause

She tucked the present under her arm and went down stairs.

Tommy was Tristan’s younger cousin and when she came down stairs he was screaming. At Alessa. The girl smiled. Alessa tried to get down to his level and was scrunched awkwardly in her skirt and heels. The girl went right over to him and scooped him up. Holding the present behind her back.
“Oh, why are u so sad?” she said
“Santa… (Sniff) he… Forgot me… waaaaa!” Tommy wailed leaning his head on her shoulder.
“Oh now that’s not true.” She said she caught Tristan’s eye and waved the package behind her back.
“It.. Is” he sniffled “the sack is all… Empty!” he cried. Tristan came up behind her and quietly dropped the box in the sack.
“Ho ho ho. Now there, you better not pout, you better not cry. Check the bag again. He put the bag on the floor. The girl put down the little boy. He hobbled over to the bag and stuck his head in. the little boy let out a squeal. And crawled all the way in. then emerged with the box.
“Santa! How did you do that?!” the boy exclaimed.
“Ho ho, well then if I told you it wouldn’t be magic would it?” Tristan said. Squatting down next to him.
“Magic” the boy, whispered his eyes wide. He tore open the gift.
“Truck! It’s a truck!” he squealed and ran to show it to his mom.
“Thanks” Tristan said. Alessa scowled.
“I was doing fine” she said firmly.
“Mommy Mrs. Clause is scary” Tommy whispered to his mom loud enough for them to hear. Alessa turned and glared at the little boy. He hid behind his mom’s legs. Tristan put his arm around her waist
“He’s just a little kid,” he said
“Your right. What’s new,” She replied glanced at the girl and kissed Tristan. The girl went crazy. The room was too small. She walked out of the house.

When Tristan came down stairs he was wearing black pants black shirt black blazer green tie that matched his hair. Dark brown died green in the front. Tommy ran up to him
“Trissy! Trissy!” the boy exclaimed.
“Hey there buddy.”
“You missed Santa! He did real magic. He didn’t have my present then it was in his bag. Look! A new truck!” he said
“Wow bud. That’s so cool. But Santa gave me a few more presents before he left.” Tristan said as he pulled out two boxes.
“There you are” Alessa said. Tristan shoved one box in his pocket. Alessa saw the other.
“Ooo wachya get me!”
“Here” he said. Still looking for the girl.
“Have you seen”
“If your about to ask about that stupid girl who lives next door. She left. So don’t go looking.” Alessa said. Annoyed with his interest in the girl.
“She left” he said looking out the window. It was snowing REALLY hard. He couldn’t see a thing. But he could tell that no lights were on across the street. She left. The words echoed in his head he turned towards the door. Shrugged on his jacket and grabbed the key to her house, her jacket (which she had left) and his cell phone. His hand was on the door when Alessa said.
“Tristan! If you leave I leave! And I won’t. Come. Back! He sighed.
“She scares me.” Tommy said.
“Me too.” Tristan whispered back. Louder he said, “it’s snowing pretty hard but you’re not backed in feel free to leave, have a nice trip.” And with that he stepped out side into the freezing cold.

Tristan had nothing to go by. The thick snow covered up her tracks. Where could she be? He thought.

The girl stumbled blindly through the woods. She tripped over a root, and sunk in to the deep snow. It was so cold and she was only in her red party dress. She was shaking, tired. She pulled her legs close to her and slowly lost conciseness.

Tristan was going has quickly as he could through the snow. She would be at the stream something told in she would be at the stream. The snow soaked trough his pants and shoes he was cold. But he had to find her. Then he saw it the small red ball curled up in the snow. He ran/stumbled towards her. She was cold, real cold. He rolled her over her lips were blue tears frozen on her cheeks. Her eyes were closed. Her wet brown hair suck to her face and neck then again some was sprawled out wildly around her head in the snow.
“No.” Tristan choked “no, wake up common. Wake up!” he swallowed back tears. It was completely silent in the woods. He heard sirens barely the were far off. Years away. He longed for her to open her eyes he needed her deep blue eyes to sparkle as she smiled.
“Wake up.” He chocked. A bitter wind stung him. But he still pulled of his jacket after carefully putting her arms through hers he wrapped her in his then carefully lifted her up into his arms. He turned and begun walking back to his house.

He saw the lights first. Then the ambulance, fire truck and police cars. But he walked past them and in to his house no one besides his aunt and the kids were there. He placed her on the couch. His aunt gasped.
“Tristan?!?” she said. He just shook his head. They were quite the sight. They were both soaking wet. His hair plastered to his head. And so on.
“Trissy?” Tommy said coming over.
“Are you crying?” he asked
Tristan nodded
“Is she dead?” Tommy asked
“I don’t know” Tristan chocked out the words.
“Do you love her?” Tommy said. Tristan looked up at his cousin.
“Yes”
“Does she know?” Tommy asked
“No,” Tristan said his voice broke.
“Tell her,” Tommy urged
“I love you,” Tristan said “I love you and I should have told you sooner.” He said. Her eyes blinked open.
“I love you Amora.” He said
Amora’s deep blue eyes sparkled has a smile spread ac



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This article has 1 comment.


TheBug BRONZE said...
on Jun. 18 2011 at 12:38 am
TheBug BRONZE, Uniontown, Kentucky
3 articles 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
“I see myself as a huge fiery comet, a shooting star. Everyone stops, points up and gasps "Oh look at that!" Then- whoosh, and I'm gone...and they'll never see anything like it ever again... and they won't be able to forget me- ever."- Jim Morrison

WOW. This is probably one of the best pieces I've read on here. PLEASE keep writing. You have talent the world needs to see. Good luck, and have a great day. :)