Hi. Its been along time since i spoke to you, the conversation used to fall so freely between us, do you remember that? We could talk about everything and nothing. Our biggest secrets, what was on TV last night. That kind of thing. We were each others best friends, and secret enemies. Teasing each-other in ways that would hurt if it came from anyone else, but when from each-other, they were the funniest of jokes. I used to be able to tell what you were thinking, what you would say, how would you react. We understood each-other on a level i never new to be possible. We went out as friends, to the cinema, the roller rink. It was there when you asked me out. It was completely unexpected, but also romantically perfect. I remember how scared you looked as the words passed through you lips "Will you go out with me?". We held hands, for the first time, and it felt like something new. Something special. Something right. We crossed fingers and promised that we would never let it affect our friendship. I guess the effectiveness of pinkie promise has outdated itself. Our first date was to the cinema, call me sad, i still have the stub. It was an action film, something you chose because i never really like explosions and gore, but i wanted to like them for you. So i went, i laughed at the jokes, and gasped as a helicopter was shattered into pieces. I can remember everyone of our dates, they were classic dates really, meals, the cinema, bowling. I guess we had one, less common date, Laser quest. I scored minus three thousand and something, but you scored over five thousand. It was on my birthday, in my newly renovated kitchen that we shared our first kiss. The rest of my friends were in the living room, belting out there voices out to a karaoke machine. It wasn't sleazy. It was the perfect first kiss, everything a teenage girl thinks about before they go to bed, just simple, but perfect. I remember valentines day too, a specific date on the calender for anyone who has someone special. We went to the chinese restaurant, and couldn't remember which waitress told us to follow her, we went to the cinema too. Another action film, i laughed, gasped, and secretly cringed my way through it. But as the months passed, things changed didn't they?. You stopped caring, stopped texting, stopped ringing. It was like you let go of all the love we had, and dropped it as if it meant nothing to you. So i made the decision. I ended it. You said that you didn't care, that you had your own doubts to. My friends were glad, they congratulated me on my newly found single-ness. I laughed and smiled along with them pretending i was okay with it, i wasn't really. I was dying to cry but i just pushed the feelings away from me. I watched you, you carried on like normal as if nothing had changed, you really didn't care. We said we would still be friends if everything went wrong, but you avoid me. You don't make any attempt for conversation, if you pass me in the corridor you don't even smile. There are so many things i want to say to you, but i cant. Our short love burned out the friendship we had and I will always miss that. You know that just because the relationship is over doesn't mean all the caring goes away. I had to write this, i had to let go of everything so i can move on the way you have. I wish that pinkie promises had worked and that you could be my best friend again, but i guess that childlike promises don't work when you grow up. So,as i Finnish this letter, goodbye my first kiss,my first love, my first heartbreak. I will miss you.
May 25, 2011