Can't help it

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Sometimes, we can’t help who we fall for, and we can’t control how we think. Sometimes, it’s out of our hands, and there is nothing we can do about it.

I fell in love this year, and I fell fast. I didn’t have any power over how I thought about him, and about what he meant to me. I felt we were destined to be. I guess I was wrong. My name – you don’t need to know. It is irrelevant. I could be any girl experiencing first love.

I had a dream last night, and I wish it were true. I wish I could’ve recorded it like a TV show or movie and watched it whenever I wanted. I wish I could’ve been living that life right now. I know I can’t, but maybe, you will understand. Maybe you’ve felt the same way. I am a young girl in love, and this is my dream:

I was standing on a stone balcony in Italy. The warm summer’s air was brushing my face softly. The sun was kissing my skin. It was my cousin’s wedding, and I could hear music playing not too far away. I could hear the laughter of my relatives, and imagined their smiles. I could almost see them grinning, and chuckling with the happiness that I lacked, and he was all to blame.

I stood on the balcony crying silently to myself, drowning myself in my sorrow. He loved another. He didn’t love me. I had cried so much that my green gown was stained with tears, looking as if it had just rained overtop of me.

Just before I turned to go inside, I heard a rustling noise, followed by my name being called in the near distance. I looked down to see it was him – the one who’d broken my heart – the one who had taken it and shattered it into a million pieces. I tired to wipe my face, but I knew there was nothing I could do to hide their redness.

“What do you want?” I asked.

“I want you back.” He said. “I was wrong.”

I looked at him. He was lying, I thought. But then I looked into those brown eyes, and my heart melted like an ice-cream cake. I was blown away like a grain of sandy on a stormy day, and I started to smile.

“Are you sure you won’t leave? Are you sure there isn’t another?”

He paused, and then said. “Are you saying that you don’t want to give us another chance?”

I opened my mouth to say not if he was going to leave me again – not if I had to suffer all this pain from the beginning once more…but I couldn’t. The words wouldn’t flow. I couldn’t find the voice to speak.

Before I knew it he was climbing up a bunch of vines up to the balcony where I was standing. I looked down, and the next thing I knew, his lips were on mine.

Yeah, that was my dream. What a fantasy. But that’s him – my first love. The one who’s overly dramatic. The one who doesn’t even know who he is half the time. The only one who looks at me and makes my heart melt on the spot. That’s him.

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This article has 4 comments. Post your own now!

Annabelle294 said...
Jun. 5, 2011 at 9:32 am
aww i love this! It's so sad, but happens so often
Cameandgonesmarty This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 12, 2011 at 10:46 am

Yeah, I know it is sad, but happy too in between the lines.


SilverLuna said...
Jun. 1, 2011 at 3:56 pm
I like the story and how your voice layers together like a sandwich which makes the dream and the heartbrake all the more relatable. Great job!(:
Cameandgonesmarty This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 3, 2011 at 12:01 am

Thank you!

That's always my goal to have my readers relate!

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