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Tutored to be Loved Chapter 6: Pathetic Choice
My face reddened more the next day than it had from the previous night. Everyone looked at me like I had a mustard mustache on my face. But I was wrong. They looked at me because I slept with Mike and he started telling everyone. During lunch I hid in the corner of the lunchroom and sat on the floor today so I would have to look up at my peers. Sean came over and sat next to me. “Really, you did that because you missed me?” He asked me.
“Why?” He asked. My eyes swelled up with tears. I stayed in silence. I didn’t know why I made that mistake. I started to shiver when I thought of last night. I felt used, raped, and felt nothing like I did when I was around Sean. A few minutes passed by, and I couldn’t speak. “Well, that was a pathetic choice.” He started to get up and walked away. Is this how it’s going to be?
I stayed home from school today. I slept. I completed no homework. I just slept. Life did not matter to me anymore. All I see are dark clouds hovering over myself. My head kept on pounding throughout the day while I was watching some stupid show about revealing who is the father of the child. My back was also aching horribly. I called Sean. His voice mail went on. I had to leave a message.
“Hey, Sean. It’s me. I um,” I paused. “I really need to talk to you. If you want to meet me at the park in like a half hour. That would be great.” I hung up. I didn’t care anymore. I went into the shower and got ready. The day was cloudy and stormy. As I was walking towards the park, I stopped and sat on the curb near the street. My back was hurting so bad. I sighed, got up, and continued to walk. I felt like crap. This is worse than getting an A- on a paper. As I started to get closer to the park, I saw him. Sean. The Sean I am falling for. My heart skipped a beat, but it also dropped. Once I looked into his eyes and saw him, I realized how much I missed him.
“Hey.” He said with a disappointing edge to his voice.
“Hey.” I looked up and glanced down quickly.
“Well you sure went back to your shy self, I see.”
“Yeah.” There was an awkward silence after that. “Can we sit down?” He nodded. We finally sat down and I had to let him know everything. “Sean, I am so sorry for everything I have done. That whole thing with Mike was a mistake. It was a pathetic choice I made, and I did it just to make myself happier to get over you.” I looked at him, and his eyes looked so confused.
“Get over me?” He asked.
“Yes. I fell for you. Ever since the first week we started hanging out. I never knew how much I liked you until you went off with that w****, Mandy. Excuse me for my language. I just- I miss you so much. You are the best thing that’s ever been mine, as a friend. You made me confident and silly, and I loved being around you. I just…” I started to cry. He put his arm around my shoulder. “Miss you.”
“Shh….”He tried to calm me down. “It is okay, Lily. We all make mistakes. I forgive you.” He looked me in the eyes. My heart dropped. I cried some more, and told him everything that has been happening. “Let me take you to Starbucks, and I will get you your favorite Mocha Frappuccino. “ I slightly smiled. For the first time in these past few days, I felt like things were going to be okay.
Sean told me about Mandy and how he is going to break up with her. Thank God. He caught her cheating on him with Mike. I laughed uncontrollably. Mike is such a d********, I thought. Sean then came over for a few hours and we listened to music and ate tacos. Tacos heal everything.