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Words She Will Never Say..

By , phoenix, AZ
Dear Crush: I'm drowning in the heavy-crashing waves of emotion. I'm afraid; I'm confused. You look at me and I blank, forgetting every word that once rose to my lips. I'm too focused on you, on the moment, and reading that confusing gaze of yours. I want to keep your attention; I want you and only you. But you don't know that, not with the way I avoid you. Silly me, I'm a fool, a silly fool.

I distinctively remember that day. Do you remember that day? It was the day you kissed my forehead. I don't care if you only did that because of the game all of our friends were playing. Did you notice how my cheeks flared pink? Did you hear my heart-beat? If you didn't it was probably because I talk too much. Silly me, you probably think I'm weird. But I wasn't always this weird, not until you came into my life.

Why are you doing this to me? Why must you make me feel like I've never felt before? I don't want to feel this way. I want my life back. I want my heart back... But you probably don't even know that you have my heart. You're probably wondering why that bleeding, broken, red mess is following you. Well, stop wondering and pick it up. My heart needs you, and only you can fix it...

Do you know that I hate you? Oh, I hate you with all I've got. That way you smile is torturous. And those eyes of yours, so bright and blinding, I hate them. I want to gingerly take your eyes out, then put them in a jar, and place that jar on my night stand. Every morning and night I want to see your eyes. They make me so happy that I hate them. I hate them.

What happened to you? You're hot and cold. One day you smile at me brightly, and the next I don't exist! And you think I'm the weird one. Look in a mirror, Prince Charming.

And the truth is I'm scared. I'm a naive, silly, weird, little girl at fourteen and you're the perfect boy at fifteen. You're out of my league! Why can't my brain understand that you will NEVER like me? Why can't it understand that I'm not a princess? You're not going to sweep me off my feet and lead me up the staircase. You're not going to look deeply into my eyes and think: Wow, she has pretty eyes. You're going to live your life like any other teenage boy will. You have so many beautiful girls waiting at your door-step. And I'll always be the girl next-door who looks out her window, wishing and hoping that someday you might look out too... I lied back there, I don't hate you. I hate myself for holding onto this silly crush. And I also hate myself for the burning tears. But I love you... I love you, you silly boy. I love the way you smile and your eyes shine. I love the way you look at me, eyes soft and melting into mine. And I've told myself a million of times that maybe it's just a crush. A stupid, irritating, beautiful, confusing, silly, heart-fluttering crush.

And I don't want this feeling to go away. I want it to get to the good part, where you and I fall madly in love. Tell me, my crush, do you feel the same way? Or am I just imagining all of this?Dear Crush: I'm drowning in the heavy-crashing waves of emotion. I'm afraid; I'm confused. You look at me and I blank, forgetting every word that once rose to my lips. I'm too focused on you, on the moment, and reading that confusing gaze of yours. I want to keep your attention; I want you and only you. But you don't know that, not with the way I avoid you. Silly me, I'm a fool, a silly fool.

I distinctively remember that day. Do you remember that day? It was the day you kissed my forehead. I don't care if you only did that because of the game all of our friends were playing. Did you notice how my cheeks flared pink? Did you hear my heart-beat? If you didn't it was probably because I talk too much. Silly me, you probably think I'm weird. But I wasn't always this weird, not until you came into my life.

Why are you doing this to me? Why must you make me feel like I've never felt before? I don't want to feel this way. I want my life back. I want my heart back... But you probably don't even know that you have my heart. You're probably wondering why that bleeding, broken, red mess is following you. Well, stop wondering and pick it up. My heart needs you, and only you can fix it...

Do you know that I hate you? Oh, I hate you with all I've got. That way you smile is torturous. And those eyes of yours, so bright and blinding, I hate them. I want to gingerly take your eyes out, then put them in a jar, and place that jar on my night stand. Every morning and night I want to see your eyes. They make me so happy that I hate them. I hate them.

What happened to you? You're hot and cold. One day you smile at me brightly, and the next I don't exist! And you think I'm the weird one. Look in a mirror, Prince Charming.

And the truth is I'm scared. I'm a naive, silly, weird, little girl at fourteen and you're the perfect boy at fifteen. You're out of my league! Why can't my brain understand that you will NEVER like me? Why can't it understand that I'm not a princess? You're not going to sweep me off my feet and lead me up the staircase. You're not going to look deeply into my eyes and think: Wow, she has pretty eyes. You're going to live your life like any other teenage boy will. You have so many beautiful girls waiting at your door-step. And I'll always be the girl next-door who looks out her window, wishing and hoping that someday you might look out too... I lied back there, I don't hate you. I hate myself for holding onto this silly crush. And I also hate myself for the burning tears. But I love you... I love you, you silly boy. I love the way you smile and your eyes shine. I love the way you look at me, eyes soft and melting into mine. And I've told myself a million of times that maybe it's just a crush. A stupid, irritating, beautiful, confusing, silly, heart-fluttering crush.

And I don't want this feeling to go away. I want it to get to the good part, where you and I fall madly in love. Tell me, my crush, do you feel the same way? Or am I just imagining all of this?





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teeninkwriter said...
Mar. 7, 2011 at 10:19 pm
Oh My Goodness. I loved it! Iv gone thru something like this b4 so its realistic. LOVED IT!!!!
 
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