my secret crush | Teen Ink

my secret crush

February 28, 2011
By kerline SILVER, Portland, Oregon
kerline SILVER, Portland, Oregon
6 articles 0 photos 4 comments

it is the first couple week of my junior year. Peter stops in front of me in the hall, and ask me if I was ready for the French quiz. While he was asking me he touched my hair. It was really strange but I liked it. He twirled it around with his index finger and then let go. After that I didn’t remember what he asked me, so I just said, “uh.” Peter smiled at me and then entered the classroom. I stood right there in the hall, frozen like a rock.
My best friend Sara came up to me and asked me if I was okay.
“Yeah” I told her.
What happened? She asks.
“I was just waiting for you” I lied. When I told her what happened with peter, she gave me a dirty look. Peter broke up with his last girl friend a week ago at a party after he kissed her. Every one said he’s a jerk because of that. He is exactly the kind of boy who has never interested me at all. But there I was, all frozen because he just talked to me. I looked at Sara and then follow her to class.
I should also say that I have never dated any boy before. I never had the interest for one. Peter is my first crush. I had some romantic ideas of how me dating will happen someday. A few months ago Sara convinced me to date Kevin, another boy from our class. Kevin is really smart, handsome and has these light dreamy brown eyes but dating him would was like dating my brother. As I sit down to take my French quiz I realized I am ready to date again. Suddenly I am overwhelmingly sick of waiting. I can’t remember exactly why I have been waiting. After class I wait by the door for Sara. Peter walks out and looks at me with his big beautiful brown eyes. I can’t resist looking him in the eyes.

After school peter catches with me and ask me to nicely to come with him. I followed him and we stop beside a tree. I try to look calm and cool. He touches my hair and then kissed me. There I am pressed against the tree kissing Peter. I shut my eyes and try to concentrate. When we finish kissing, we don’t say goodbye or anything. We start heading home. I let my hand dangle in case he wants to hold it but he doesn’t reach for it. I scanned around to look for Sara but she wasn’t their so I just headed straight home. When I get home I lay on my bed thinking about my first kiss. For a minute I want to tell Sara. Then quick I change my mind. When it’s time maybe I’ll tell her. But right now it’s only secret.
Sara and I tell each other everything. She would be happy if I finally get a crush on somebody, maybe especially Peter. She always thought I had a crush on him. Sara has dated a lot of boys in the past. She broke up with her last boyfriend three months ago. She told me she thinks Peter is cute.
Thursday morning, I am standing in the hallway after English class with Sara at the exact moment Peter stops in front of me. “Hey”, he says. I almost swallow my tongue. I was standing there looking at Sara. I try not to give her a clue about what happened with Peter and me. She will kill me for not telling about my first kiss. She knows I like peter, even though I always lie and say I don’t.
The next morning I wake up all worried: what if Peter is not in love with me? I just hope he is not doing the same thing to me that he did to his last girl friend. If so, I will make a complete fool of myself. Tonight I’m having my party and peter is coming I guess I’ll find out. Sara and a couple of other friends come over early to help me decorate. While we are decorating we start talking about Peter, Sara is telling me how cute she think he his. She asks me if I had a crush on him, just as I am answering the doorbell rings people were starting to arrive. By seven everyone was there except peter. All of us were in the basement playing games, dancing and listening to music. Just after eight the bell door rang, finally it was Peter.
I toke him to the basement with the others. Maybe tonight he’ll kiss me. Then everyone will know about my crush. I am to nervous to go talk to peter. So we just ignore each other. We have finished all the snacks so I go upstairs to get more. When I come back downstairs with the snacks. Peter and Sara are making out. Her arms are around him. My arm feels numb. I drop the snacks, making a lot of noise. I want to run upstairs but I can’t get my legs working. Everyone is staring at me except Sara and Peter. When Sara see me looking at her she quickly stops.
When I get my legs to work I stomp over to Sara and start to yell at her. “How could you do this to me?” I screamed at her.
“ You thought he was a jerk didn’t you?” She screams back.
“ What do you care?” Peter is just standing there looking at us arguing. I get close to her and slap her on the face. She hits me back. There we are fighting over Peter. Everyone is looking at us fighting. No one bothers to separate us. My mom hears us fighting, comes over and separates us. “Party over” she yells and everyone leaves.
I spend the whole week thinking about him all the time, Peter, Peter, and Peter. Even after what had happened between my best friend, and me all I can think about is Peter. At school Sara and I don’t speak to each other. We ignore each other all the time. Sometimes I wish I had told Sara about Peter and me. But, at the same time, I am glad I didn’t. I Sometime wish I could forget about Peter. To forget about him, I would have change schools. I have humiliated myself. I guess everyone was right when they said Peter’s a jerk. Because of him, I lost my best friend. When I’m alone in my room. The only person I feel like talking to is Sara, my best friend. But she can’t be there for me because I screeds d up. This is what my lies lead to. I lost Peter and my best friend.

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This article has 1 comment.

kerline SILVER said...
on Apr. 25 2011 at 7:29 pm
kerline SILVER, Portland, Oregon
6 articles 0 photos 4 comments
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