Our Baby

October 21, 2010
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I was scared to tell you, and that is why I didn’t. You would understand if you were in my situation. Even though we took the chance, even though I promised I would never run away from you if, perhaps, something like this did happen, I ran anyway. I know I shouldn’t have, and if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have been trapped in that situation, but I was. So I left, took one pair of clothes, and a baby stroller with me.

I took a dead end job as a cashier in McDonalds, washing myself everyday in target to avoid the inevitable grime that came with living in a box. I knew that sooner or later the workers would catch on eventually, if they hadn’t already, but my plan had been working, and my face and hair was always shiny and new. One day I saw you at target, you and your family. You were just shopping around for some video games – as always- and you looked completely the same. Not happy, but not sad. So I figured I made the right choice. Even if the tears had started to water in my eyes, I knew that I had made the right decision, and just as I was about to leave you turned towards my direction. I froze. I thought ‘this is it, this is where we finally see each other again.’ But your eyes stayed downcast, so you never did see my clean face, or my fresh hair. That’s when I walked away, and didn’t look back at everything I knew I was giving up.

McDonalds was getting tiresome as my stomach got bigger. Almost seven months now working so close to home, and no one found me. But I was adapting to life on my own. I was excited, because I had just gotten a one-bedroom apartment, and I had just bought a baby crib and a beautiful blanket. Sure, it was no baby shower, but it was still wonderful to have a roof over my head, and a bed for my baby.

I was clocking out of work, leaning against the counter waiting for some fries to be handed to me when someone said:

“Wow, you’re huge! When are you due?”

I turned around with a smile on my face to answer the woman’s question, but I never had the chance. Your mother and I eyes locked, and she abruptly glared at me coldly and ran out of the restaurant. My manager came out right away, and helped me into a seat. He later told me I had been shaking, so he added a milkshake and a double cheeseburger free of charge to my order, just to make up for it.

I knew it was coming, and I knew it was coming soon. I had been told on my day off that a man had waited the entire day for me, and every hour he would ask if I was there yet. So when I entered the next morning, it was no surprise to see you sitting in a chair, your chin lying calmly on your palm. You were sleeping, your eyes closed to the hum of the early morning. I smiled and sat down next to you, watching you as you slept. My manager glanced my way, but just nodded as I proceeded to slack off. It took fifteen minutes until you finally opened your eyes, but when you did, you only sat their silently gazing at my face and stomach as if you were still sleeping in your dream.

“Is it a boy, or a girl,” you softly asked, your face never changing.

“I’m not quite sure,” I answered back just as quietly, “ I didn’t want to know for some reason, I wanted to be surprised.”

You just nodded slowly at that, your eyes glazing over as you cast them down. We stayed like that for five minutes, never saying a word, until you coughed, sat up and walked over to the seat next to me. You stood there awkwardly for a while, not quite sure of what to do. But when you figured it out, you leaned down into my stomach, cooing to our child as soft sobs crept into my shirt. Then you wrapped your arms around me, placing my head under your chin singing happy songs as you swayed us to the beat.

“Never leave me,” you whispered into my hair.

“Never, ever leave me again.”

I didn’t say anything; I just smiled at the tears creeping down my face and kissed your chin.

“I missed you so much,” I said, leaning over to look into your eyes and smile.

“It hurt so much to be way from you…”

“Good,” you said with a grin, and a rough tone around the edges. “Then next time, when you have something of mine inside of you, you won’t take the two most important things in my life away from me.”

And you leaned down to kiss me as I started to sob, the wet mingling together as our faces collided.





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thewriteidea This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 30, 2010 at 2:27 pm

WOW! i absolutely love the ending. you wrote it so well and i am just so speechless. you are a GREAT writer

rate/comment on some of my work, too if you'd like. keep writing!

 
Smickles This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 18, 2011 at 9:37 am
thank you very much! i will :)
 
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