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Sea-Foam Green

Sundays don’t start and end like today did, I don’t think they ever do.
This morning, 1am, to be exact I was with the love of my life, the only thing in this world I could fall asleep on and never want to wake up, the only thing in this world where I could instantly feel safe, even with the traitorous world around me, the only thing in this world I have ever know to love and hate at the same time, yet always find myself running back to, when I can’t find any other reason to carry on.
That morning I slept better than ever. I pretend that your arms were around me, that your pale and freckled fingers were brushing against my cheek, tucking the hair that shielded my eyes from you, behind my ear, telling me not to be afraid anymore. In less than 12 hours I’d be seeing you again, I’d be seeing your freckled face, your sea foam green eyes, your forgettable smile, your warming body, in less than 12 hours, I’d be with you.

At exactly 1pm, I see you again. You're less inviting, less like the boy that was staring at me no more than 12 hours earlier; in less than 12 hours, you were everything I was afraid you’d be..
We worked for an hour and half, laughing, as I struggled to keep focused. You’re scent was penetrating through the entire room, the sweet smell of bittersweet love and cigarettes. It’s so hard to keep focused when you’re around, because all I really want to do is walk up to you, watch as you eyes meet up with mine, lean in and kiss you, so soft, so gentle, that even the angels on heaven would feel heavy. More than anything I wish you’d look at me more often. I wish I’d see those beautiful sea-foam green eyes gazing up at me, watching me, making sure I was safe, making sure I was reminded that I was loved.

After working you and I were together again, only this time we weren’t working, we were just hanging out. I followed you to the street on Noble were you pulled out a cigarette and a lighter from your breast pocket. I followed you as you lit it and held it to your mouth. I followed you as you breathed in and out, until I was replaced, until you were followed by nothing but a puff of smoke. We climbed back into your car and headed to jewel, where I bought you a 6-pack of oreo ice cream bars and two ice teas. We took them to the beach, where we sat for no less than two hours. You were sitting there right next to me, I was breathing in every bit of you. Before you had to take me home, you held me, you held me so tight, I almost couldn’t breathe. Your arms wrapped around my waist, your lips an inch away from my face, I feel an electric current, sharp and painful, shocked me ; every inch of my body feeling it. You make me feel like no other, you make me feel like no one else is around, that no one else lives in this world but you and i. You and i…

I don’t know where you and I will be in a day, in a year, but neither do I know this of the other one. All I know is that in no more than 3 weeks, you will be gone, and no longer will I be safe, no longer will I be loved, no longer will I feel whole and alive. I will however have the other one, guiding me to safer shores where maybe I’ll just feel safe again, where maybe I’ll feel loved again, where maybe I’ll be distracted by a different pair of sea-foam green eyes.





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