The Subway Part 2

August 25, 2010
By OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch


As I fell, I heard a scream pierce the air. “AYA!” That’d be my mom.

I could’ve sworn I heard another, lower voice utter the words “Oh my G-d.” Maybe I was just imagining it.

All that gymnastics training wasn’t for nothing. When I reached the bottom, I landed on my feet, but quickly rolled to minimize the force—and slammed my back against a rail.

My mother was frantic. “Aya, you have to get out of there!” Oh really? I’d been planning on making a home here. Good company, nice building material, even—I dazedly brushed a rotting banana peel out of my hair—free food! Plus there were those wonderful subways. It’d be a lovely life.

“Um, ma’am,” a man interjected hesitantly. Judging by his voice he was at least middle-aged. “The next subway’s coming in a minute. She has to get out of there, lady, or…” He didn’t need to finish the sentence. If I didn’t get up and get out, I’d die.

Slowly, fearfully, I rose to my feet—and suppressed a scream. I hurt. Every part of me was shrieking in protest of the abuse I’d received. I swayed for a second, dizzy, before pulling myself back down to earth. I was a gymnast for goodness’ sake. Our motto was “Suck it up and deal”. And that’s exactly what I had to do to get back out.

“Watch out,” I gritted. Everyone near the edge of the platform scurried away. I backed up ‘til I was as far away from the ledge as possible. Then I ran, leaping over the rails, and punching on the springless stone floor, sending a jolt to my already fractured and bruised back.

My hands barely cleared the edge. I was clinging on by my fingertips. C’mon Aya, you can do it, put some Parkette power to it, goooo Aya! How was I supposed to lift myself up by this? My mother rushed forward, but an older man held her back.

“You wouldn’t be able to lift her,” he warned. “You might just send her falling.” Great. So I had to do this by myself?

It’s just like a muscle-up I thought convincingly. Same exact thing! I tried not to remember that I’d never made a muscle-up in my life.

I tried. Oh boy did I try. I dug my fingers into any crevices I could find and pulled with all my might. But it wasn’t enough. The top of my ribs bumped into the platform. That was the farthest I could go. And it wouldn’t be enough. The subway would smoosh me like a pancake. I could already hear it coming. And all the King’s horses and all the King’s men, couldn’t put Aya together again.

Then I felt large, strong hands close around my waist. There was a lifting sensation, for a moment I was floating. Then I was set back on my own two feet on the platform. Not five seconds later, the subway came screeching by.

“Aya? Aya are you OK?” My mom seemed in danger of an emotional breakdown. Sierra just stood there gaping at me, white as a sheet.

Their shocked, concerned faces started to warp and blur. Spots covered my eyes. I felt my knees buckling under the heavy, heavy weight they carried, and I couldn’t make myself care. The last thing I heard as I sank into the welcome pool of unconsciousness was a voice, deep, masculine, unfamiliar.

“Aya? Are you OK? Are you OK, Aya?”

Are you OK….


The author's comments:
Mm excuse the sarcasm, Aya is basically me with a different name, so...

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This article has 16 comments.


on Oct. 10 2010 at 4:06 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Haha it doesn't sound bad! I meant it to be funny:) And yes, I love sarcasm.

on Oct. 10 2010 at 3:59 pm
KeepReading BRONZE, Kansas City, Missouri
4 articles 13 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
“So the writer who breeds more words than he needs, is making a chore for the reader who reads.”
―Dr. Seuss

i hope this doesn't sound bad, but i thought was really funny! keep writing!!!

i love writers who use sarcasm, especially to lighten the mood


on Sep. 26 2010 at 11:26 am
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

It is, it is:D    

on Sep. 26 2010 at 11:03 am
PussnBoots GOLD, Tomahawk, Wisconsin
12 articles 0 photos 138 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When life hands you lemons, make apple juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it." -Unknown
"The world is my pineapple. I just have to figure out a way past the prickly parts." -Me

Ain't that just a shame? xD

on Sep. 26 2010 at 10:59 am
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

And it works even worse over the computer;D

on Sep. 26 2010 at 10:53 am
PussnBoots GOLD, Tomahawk, Wisconsin
12 articles 0 photos 138 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When life hands you lemons, make apple juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it." -Unknown
"The world is my pineapple. I just have to figure out a way past the prickly parts." -Me

HA!! I've got the same problem. lol

on Sep. 26 2010 at 10:49 am
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

That's really nice of you:) And my friends often complain that I'm too sarcastic, and that half the time they can't tell if I'm being honest or using sarcasm. It's funny.

on Sep. 26 2010 at 10:42 am
PussnBoots GOLD, Tomahawk, Wisconsin
12 articles 0 photos 138 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When life hands you lemons, make apple juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it." -Unknown
"The world is my pineapple. I just have to figure out a way past the prickly parts." -Me

Sarcasm is a talent, and if you have it, use it. lol And you're welcome. I enjoyed reading you work. ;)

on Sep. 26 2010 at 10:38 am
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Haha thank you!  I, too, love sarcasm, so I felt it had to be included.  ANd thank you so much for reading and commenting on all these pieces!

on Sep. 26 2010 at 10:29 am
PussnBoots GOLD, Tomahawk, Wisconsin
12 articles 0 photos 138 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When life hands you lemons, make apple juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it." -Unknown
"The world is my pineapple. I just have to figure out a way past the prickly parts." -Me

Love the sarcasm!!!! Oh, and cliches are fine as long as you add something unique to it. I like it! ;D

on Sep. 19 2010 at 5:28 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Haha:D Some said it was too cliche, it would never happen, it was a dumb idea, etc.

on Sep. 19 2010 at 5:05 pm
Just.A.Dream SILVER, Lake Geneva, Wisconsin
7 articles 0 photos 431 comments

Favorite Quote:
Part of the J7X team. :)

Really?! That's just wrong.

on Sep. 19 2010 at 4:51 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Glad you think so, some didn't.

on Sep. 19 2010 at 4:26 pm
Just.A.Dream SILVER, Lake Geneva, Wisconsin
7 articles 0 photos 431 comments

Favorite Quote:
Part of the J7X team. :)

Very creative! I'm hooked on it! :) You're doing a great job telling the story so far!

on Sep. 12 2010 at 4:09 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Thanks! Yeah, as you may have guessed I'm a gymnast--Aya is basically me with a different name. And I learned about the third rail after I'd written this, lol.

Aidyl BRONZE said...
on Sep. 12 2010 at 12:23 pm
Aidyl BRONZE, Oshawa, Other
4 articles 0 photos 91 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you want a friend be a friend."

-Poster


"That's cool. Hey you know what's even cooler than triceratops? Every other dinosaur that ever existed!"
-Dwight Schrute The Office

I really like your writing because it keeps me hooked right until the very end. 

Just saying though, there's always a third electric rail on Subway tracks so that might have been an issue in the story, also there's a safety lip that you can roll under to avoid being hit by the subway... I guess if you were ever to actually fall onto the subway tracks you'd want to know? lol.

I  also really liked this too because I'm a gymnast as well, so I can relate! :)





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