All Nonfiction Bullying Books Academic Author Interviews Celebrity interviews College Articles College Essays Educator of the Year Heroes Interviews Memoir Personal Experience Sports Travel & CultureAll Opinions Bullying Current Events / Politics Discrimination Drugs / Alcohol / Smoking Entertainment / Celebrities Environment Love / Relationships Movies / Music / TV Pop Culture / Trends School / College Social Issues / Civics Spirituality / Religion Sports / Hobbies
- Summer Guide
- College Guide
- Author Interviews
- Celebrity interviews
- College Articles
- College Essays
- Educator of the Year
- Personal Experience
- Travel & Culture
- Current Events / Politics
- Drugs / Alcohol / Smoking
- Entertainment / Celebrities
- Love / Relationships
- Movies / Music / TV
- Pop Culture / Trends
- School / College
- Social Issues / Civics
- Spirituality / Religion
- Sports / Hobbies
- Community Service
- Letters to the Editor
- Pride & Prejudice
- What Matters
Master of My Love
I felt weird. It was like I was having an out of body experience. I was there, but at the same time I wasn't. It wasn't a matter of physical or mental presence, but of my "self".
In my mind I saw myself walking in slow motion as if I were in a movie. I didn't really know where I was going because I was following him and that was all I needed to know. When he stopped, I stopped. Vaguely, I noticed that we were approaching a house. Another guy was asking him something, but I couldn't concentrate enough to understand what he said. My mind felt loopy and my body felt numb. He walked forward again and I was compelled to follow.
We were almost to the door when I saw a familiar face out of the corner of my eye. He had opened the door in my moment of distraction. When he stepped through the doorway into the house I felt as if a weight had been lifted off my entire being.
I knew I didn't have long. I knew he would come for me, so I took a chance and yelled, "Dean ... Dean!"
Dean didn't stop. He didn’t even acknowledge my presence. Why was he ignoring me?
My vision was fuzzy and my head felt full of cotton.
“DEAN!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, pleading this time.
My arms were seized by one of his “brothers” and pinned behind my back. I desperately fought against him never taking my eyes off Dean.
“Dean, wait!” I screamed, lunging away from my captor, as I managed to wrench my arms free.
Finally, he stopped and turned in my direction. Our eyes locked for a split second. I expected to see love and recognition shining in his eyes, but instead I only saw disinterest.
I staggered to a sudden stop at the look on his face. I didn’t understand.
He was coming back for me himself this time. I could feel his presence as the weight bearing down on me became heavier. But I fought against this too because I couldn’t believe what I was seeing in Dean’s eyes.
“You really shouldn’t fight me, the pain will only be worse,” he said matter-of-factly as he took hold of my upper arm in an iron hard grip.
He started towing me backwards, into the house, but I fought him and the pain anyway, still staring at Dean, not caring about anything but why indifference was the only thing I saw on Dean’s face.
Then I noticed a girl standing beside Dean. She whispered something in his ear. Disgust filled his eyes and he looked at me with such contempt. Tears streamed down my face because of the --- the hate I saw on his face. Abruptly, he turned his back on me. The two of them continued walking down the sidewalk into the house next door. He never looked back.
Struggling against the weight was pointless now, so I quit. My heart shattered as I remembered the hateful way he had looked at me. Closing my eyes, I welcomed the pain. I fell to my knees as the weight crushed me. I didn’t want to feel. Oblivion was what I prayed for now.
He cupped my chin with his hand and lifted my face up.
His grip on my chin tightened at my reaction. “Look at me,” he said in a rough voice.
The pain of the crushing weight meant nothing compared to the emptiness I felt inside. But I opened my eyes to distract myself from visions of Dean’s face.
“You were smart to stop fighting me,” he said as he, to my surprise, gently wiped away my tears, “but I’m curious as to why you did?” He asked with sincerity.
“What was the point of fighting? My reason for living is gone. He’s gone.” I replied truthfully.
His face scrunched up with displeasure and I knew he didn’t care for my answer. He took a deep breath and said, “I didn’t think it would come to this, not with you, but … given me no choice … tried to leave me.”
The cloudiness in my head was getting worse and I only caught bits and pieces of what he was saying. I couldn’t comprehend the meaning of his words.
“… still want him more than me. I can’t take the chance … happening again. I have to have you.”
He placed his hand around my throat then and bent down to look me straight in the eyes. His eyes, which were a lovely sky blue, changed to black. I couldn’t have looked away even if I wanted. I was mesmerized and I honestly couldn’t think or move.
I was drowning in the blackness that saturated his eyes. I gave him my heart, my mind, and my will. I gave him my “self”. I gave him everything. He was all that mattered. The crushing weight disappeared. He was my reason for living, my reason for existing.
He removed his hand from my neck and helped me to stand.
Staring intensely into my eyes, he asked, “Who do you want to be with Sara?”
“You,” I answered right away. What a silly question. He had to know how important he was to me, that I would rather die than be with anyone but him.
“Sara,” he started.
“Yes, Master?” I asked as he brushed my hair out of my face and behind my ear.
“You’re mine now!” He said fiercely, crushing his lips on mine.