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The Awakening

He leaned closer to her still body, she was paralyzed from…what? Fear…Love. She wasn’t sure. I love you, she thought. She could stay with him forever after this, he told her it would be painful but she didn’t even care. She could feel his warm breath on her neck as he wrapped her in his gentle arms. Their love was so pure they would do anything for
each other. She touched his cheek with her fingertips and squeezed her eyes shut. He bent down to her cold throat and bit down. The pain was as if he had set her on fire. She screamed in pain and he held her tight so that she wouldn’t flail all over the bare floor of the house. She gripped his shoulders and dug her nails in, it didn’t hurt him so he didn’t care. He knew they could now be together so he didn’t mind even a bit. When he was done draining her, she looked up at him and smiled. He still had a bit of her blood on his lips.
“ You were right.” she told him in a soft voice. “ It was worth it.”
She was now a part of his life she never was before and she loved the feeling. He had awakened her to the immortal side…she had never been happier. They will be together always and never leave each others side.

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This article has 26 comments. Post your own!

Goddess said...
Jan. 18, 2012 at 2:44 pm:
amazing job!!!!
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DeadPeopleKindaGrl said...
Aug. 23, 2010 at 5:43 pm:
Can u all go to my forum called Heyy. I'm not as cool and nice as everyone thinks. I'm scared...Help. Thanx :/
yin_yang replied...
Aug. 24, 2010 at 10:26 pm :
this is sooooo cool it is kinda like the way twilight is but not really , it is new and fresh and i love it , and i think i will post it on my fav articals by other authors.
yin_yang replied...
Aug. 24, 2010 at 10:35 pm :

i am soooooo sorry i just read all the stuff people have posted on here and it probibly makes you mad that every on thinks it is copywrite and too much like twilight....IT IS NOTHING LIKE TWILIGHT PPL.....and i am not just saying that but really this story he turns her bc she wants him to but in twilight he trys to talk her out of this story he drains her completly ...but in twilight her injects her with his venom.....PLUS THERE ARN NO WEREWOLFS IN THIS this... (more »)

DeadPeopleKindaGrl replied...
Aug. 25, 2010 at 10:46 am :
Hahaha lol. Chil grl! (: Gosh, thank u for stiking up for me. And i am writing a book too so if u ever want to read some of it I can e-mail it to u! Thanx (:
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sleeplessdreamer said...
Aug. 18, 2010 at 8:42 pm:
Um.... Twilight, agreed. A little scarily like Twilight. Like too much like Twilight. Like copywriting Twilight. There wasn't enough backstory in this to seperate the two. Your writing was fine, but I was a little considered Edward Cullen was going to pop out a piano and start playing Bella's lullaby any second.
DeadPeopleKindaGrl replied...
Aug. 19, 2010 at 10:50 am :
Well I completely disagree with u! It kinda remindes u of twilight but only because it's about a girl being turned into a vampire because she loves him. AND I WOULD NEVER COPY ANOTHER WRITERS WORK!!! I am very offended and that is a terrible thing to say to a writer. I make up my OWN stories and have fun doing them. I use my imagination and would die before I copied someones work. ESPECIALLY if they are puplished and so popular like Stephanie Myer.
sleeplessdreamer replied...
Aug. 20, 2010 at 11:03 am :
I'm very sorry that I offended you, but I'm not going to take back anything I said. It was my opinion and when you put things out on this sight for people to comment on, I would think I to assume that they will post their opinion. I'm not saying that you intentionally copywrited. I was just saying that I found it hard to find differences in the storyline between the two. Your story was too short to tell the contrasts. It sounded like Twilight in some other words. Again, I never mean to offend, o... (more »)
DeadPeopleKindaGrl replied...
Aug. 23, 2010 at 7:40 am :
well thanks for commenting anyway.
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riley... said...
Aug. 10, 2010 at 1:12 pm:
twillliggghttt. haha but i like the underlying message of two people with love's bond keeping them together.
DeadPeopleKindaGrl replied...
Aug. 10, 2010 at 1:41 pm :
Yeah, ur not the only one who thinks of Twilight when u read this. Hahaha Thanx (:
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squidzinkpen said...
Aug. 10, 2010 at 1:07 pm:
Chilling and romantic! Just a quick tip, when you use an elipses (...), you don't have to capitalize the word that follows. Otherwise, lovely!
DeadPeopleKindaGrl replied...
Aug. 10, 2010 at 1:40 pm :
Thanx and I know, I just like to ! Thanx (:
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mudpuppy said...
Aug. 6, 2010 at 7:36 pm:
I for one think this is very sweet. :)
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abster55 said...
Aug. 6, 2010 at 9:33 am:
This has amazing detail!! I could feel all the things put into your story. I did see a few grammatical errors that you might want to fix!! :)
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DeadPeopleKinndaGrl said...
Aug. 5, 2010 at 3:11 pm:
ooooooooooo!!!! Check out my two new pieces just submitted! B the first to rate and comment on them! thanx (:
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gymbabe This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 5, 2010 at 9:51 am:
Wow! Yes, it's a bit like Twilight, but it's very well-written, great descriptions, and very vivid. Nice job!
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DeadPeopleKinndaGrl said...
Aug. 5, 2010 at 9:25 am:
Look ppl. 38 ppl have read this but only, like, six have commented and rated. COME ON!!! Help me out here, if u read it could u please give me a little something about what u think? Thanx (:
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A.Dreamer said...
Aug. 4, 2010 at 4:28 pm:
Yeah, it did remind me of Twilight quite a bit! But better, because Stephanie Meyers isn't that good of writer. I like the ending part better than the beginning, but both parts were good. Can't wait for you to write more!
DeadPeopleKinndaGrl replied...
Aug. 5, 2010 at 7:37 am :
Thanx soo much!! (: I really appreciate ur comment! And i am still writing more, a second part to " Who Cares? I Just Smile." and a few others that should appear on the site soon. Thanx (:
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