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The Perfection of Nowhere
The snow surrounds you as you unknowingly walk towards Nowhere. The complacency of the cold numbs the wounds they've stuck inside of you. Do you see me yet? I'm waiting for you- waiting to kiss you and take you to Nowhere.
These branches I'm sitting on are becoming uncomfortable. I wish you would look up and see me but you fail to notice the person sitting right above you.
There aren't any footsteps trailing behind you, even though there is a heaviness in your step. The way your face curves perfectly makes me smile, but only for a moment. Why are you frowning, Michael? Your hands are shoved deep in your pockets and your face is growing red. You must be cold. I'm never cold when I see you, Michael, but I can see that the comforting cold is losing its touch on you. A trademark sigh of yours reaches me as you collapse against the tree I occupy. Pale hands hide your face and the faint sound of sobs reached the top branches.
“Oh no, please don't cry. Don't cry, don't cry,” I whisper, knowing you can't hear me. Your teary eyes stab deeper than your old heroin ones. “You have to get to Nowhere,” I say unequivocally, your fate decided.
Your sobs become more definite as I climb down the tree, needing to hold you in my arms and save you. In my rush to reach the ground, the jagged bark penetrates my skin, drinking my blood. But finally, my feet land themselves in the harsh snow.
So now I'm right next to you and I'm still unnoticed? I wrap an arm around your shoulders and maybe you did know I was here, because you didn't seem startled. Just nestled yourself right into my arms where you belong.
“Hey, it's okay. Nothing you're not used to, right?” I try to comfort you, but tears just fall down faster.
You shake your head and I try to understand what you say through your clenched throat. “It's different this time... He... James, he kicked me out. My step-dad kicked me out.” You draw a shuddery breath. “James, what am I gonna do?”
I knew everything before you spoke it. He was bound to kick you out sometime.
“I just need you so much right now,” you say, pulling me even closer to you. I'm more than content holding you as you rest your head on my chest, calming down.
“I love you,” I say. The words were quiet and confident.
“I love you, too.”
We lie here in the snow, beneath the trees of the forest, feeling completely at home. I know, though, that we'll only feel this way for a short while before going back to turmoil and misery.
“I don't want to be sad anymore,” you say.
“Then don't be,” I tell you.
And it was as simple as stating it, only you thought that life didn't work like that. You couldn't just ignite emotions with a shuddery statement.
And now your luscious lips are soft, moving with mine, slow and sweet. I can feel you smile in the kiss and pull away.
You're looking into my brown eyes and I wonder if you can see right past them, or if all you are seeing is a reflection of yourself.
“It's not that simple,” you say.
“Being happy.” You give me a small smile that makes my heart melt.
“Sure it is. I'll prove it to you,” I say with confidence.
Too much time has passed us by, I decide, as I stand up in the white frost. I hold out a hand, which you grab, an ignorant look veiled over your face.
“Come on,” I say, tugging on your hand.
“Where are we going?” You begin to follow uncertainly, but you're grinning.
We walk hand in hand for only a little while before I break loose and run from you.
“Hey! Wait for me!”
I hear your calls, but I'm set on my destination. You pound away not far behind me, so I know you're alright. And now I'm panting, finally where I want to be.
“Why'd you run from me?” you asked, once you've caught up. You act hurt, but I know you're kidding.
“Just cause,” I say, looking at they icy stream beneath me. It's all planned out in my head.
I press my lips to yours and hold you like someone is trying to pry us apart. I can't quite explain it, but I have this feeling and I just decide to go for it.
I place my hands on your shoulders and shove you back onto the ice, me on top of you. The frozen lake cracks and both of us plunge into the icy depths. Almost instantly, I am numb. Through the heavy blue water you look at me and I look at you, knowing that we're finally going to Nowhere. There is no doubt in our minds that this place exists. We're going to be happy forever and ever. My vision begins to blur, starting at the edges and then making its way inward. The only things I feel is you next to me and a sinking sensation.
When we wake up, it is all white for a moment. Then there are trees sprouting from the ground, a warm sun growing in the sky, and absolutely no one. The only things breathing are you and I. Michael and James.
“So this is Nowhere,” you say.
“So this is Nowhere.”
I kiss you gently and I know we're safe forever. The wounds inside you are healed and will never be coming back. No one will ever hurt you again.