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Sometimes, insignificant little details in a situations lead to the outcome. Like tripping over a pebble and getting a stress fracture or cutting your hair in a certain way so that for a minute amount of time you can’t see the slick rode and you get in a car wreck. Plus, all those events caused by tiny accessories are usually only a tiny portion to your life. Most of it won’t matter in the long run; they’re just stepping stone in the right direction that you’ll hardly remember.
He had a seizure. It's all I could think about for 3 days straight. I stopped eating. I stopped sleeping. Thinking about him and going to the restroom was my limit. Nothing else crossed my mind. Why would it need to, nothing was as important. I wondered if he was ok, and until I figured it out I wouldn't let myself be happy. I didn't even know him that well before he had a seizure. I knew him from swim team, I said hi if we came across each other in the grocery store or something, but that was about it.
It happened so fast that I didn't know what was happening. My hand scribbled my signature and that was it. 17 years of work and detication gone; for a disagreement. All ending in one little office. All lead by the one little man. All because of my husband. It started with just a hi in the hallways. And that hi lead to everything great that had happened. Just with that one signature of agreement and everything was over. That was it.
When he got home I gave him a hug and said hi. He blushed and said hi. I said I had to go swim my race. He said he'd go and cheer me on. I said thanks and went to line up. He smirked and said no problem. I smiled and said I hope not and that it shouldn't be. I loaded myself onto the starting block. I heard the honk from the starting megaphone. I heard him scream to go as my feet bounced off.
Why would god do this to me. I was happy with him and he found someone else. Now he was with her and I was alone. Tears burned tracks on my face. I sat in my room alone. I cried silently. I thought about how I would tell my daughter. I thought about not telling her. I thought that would be wrong. I thought about how much I hurt because of god.
I remember thinking how my life was complete. I remember thinking that he was a knew friend. I remember everything I could about him. He came over to hang out some times after practice. Never to my house. We'd meet at the pool or the yard or the park or the mall or a diner. I was hardly ever home. He was younger. I didn't care. He seemed old enough for me.
When my daughter came home, it was always late. She never told me where she was. I never asked. Today was different because of the cercumstances. I asked where she was today. I hoped my eyes weren't red. She said she was hanging out with a guy from swimteam. I asked if she had fun and we needed to talk. She said she was tired and asked if we could talk tomorrow. I said that was fine and went to my room and closed the door.
I figured it wasn't important. I figured it could wait. I was tired. I called him and said good night. He said to meet at the pool at sunrise for practice and then we could go somewhere. I said ok and I could do that. He said ok and to have sweet dreams. I said thanks and for him to have sweet dreams too. He hung up the phone. I hung up the phone.
The morning had almost come. My eyes hadn't closed. I wonder if my daughter realized that her dad hadn't slept at our house that night. I got out of bed. I opened the door. I got coffee. The sun slowly rose. My daughter came down stairs when you could bairly see a sliver of the sun. She told me I looked horrible and smiled and said she was going to practice and she couldn't talk. I said ok and wished her a good day.
The sun was hot. My bike seat was hot. The pavement was hot. The air was hot. Everything was hot in summer. The laps were difficult. The coaches were difficult. The practice was difficult. He said we should go somewhere air conditioned. I told him we should go to my house.
I stayed home and waited for my daughter to come home. I realized the time that felt like hours were only minutes. Again the tears and denile came. I said it wouldn't be over. I cursed at god. I screamed at him to **** himself. I told him that he was a *****. I told him I hated him. He didn't say anything back. And then it was silent except for my sobs.
I told him that I had to go inside and make sure my mom wasn't home before he went in. He asked why. I told him just because. He asked if he could come with me to check. I told him that would defeat the purpose. He smiled and said that he guessed it would. I left him outside and went in. My mom was sitting on the tile of the kitchen. Her eyes were red and puffy. She said we needed to talk.
I told her everything. Starting from when I first said hi. Except everything I said was in fast forward. I said it all until I was at present time. She said nothing. She did nothing. She said she was going out. I told her when she needed to be home. She asked why I cared starting now. I said because you are my daughter and she left.
When I went outside he was still there. He asked what took so long and smiled. I didn't smile back. He asked what was wrong. I told him everything starting from her hi. He told me it would be ok. I said he had no idea if it would. He said it would work itself out. I said he had no idea. He took my hand.
I told myself it could have been worse. I told myself it could have been better. I told my self she would be back. I waited at the kitchen table. The air flicked on and off. Tears didn't come any more. I felt awkward with myself. I got up from my chair and made dinner for two. I waited.
It wasn't fair. I should get a choice whether they split. I was the result of there expiremental fusion. If I could trade there happiness for mine until I left the house, I would. I asked him what he thought and he said that he wouldn't know. I asked him what he thought anyway. He said he thought I'd get through it. I asked him how I would do that. We looked at the stars from the feild infront of the pool. He said I had him.
The mom thought about her daughter constently. The daughter thought about him constenly. She went home an hour past her time her mom had assigned. Her mom asked her where she'd been. The girl said she'd been coping. Her mom didn't say anything. The girl went upstairs and the boy was already waiting. He asked if she was sure she wanted to do this. Downstairs, her mother went in her room and closed her door. She said she was sure. He leaned over her and flicked the light switch to the lamp off. They sat in the dark together for a while. The sheets rustled underneath them. He reached over and pulled her shoulders to him and kissed her lips. He put both of his hands on either side of her head. He touched his forehead to hers. She pushed him backwards till he was laying flat on his back. She stratled him right on top of his belly button. He sat up so they were entangled in them selves. He pulled off her shirt and she pulled off his. His stomach glistened from the moonlight that leaked in from her blinds. He pulled himself close to her until there stomachs where squeezing each other. He held her in a tight embrace. Suddenly the girl started to sob. He had never seen her cry before. The tears dripped from her face, down his back. Her mother heard the tears but decided not to go to her but to leave her alone. She pulled his pants off so he was sitting in his boxers. He pulled her pants off so she was sitting in her bra and underwear. She unhooked her own bra and threw it on the floor with the rest of the clothing. She pushed him back again as she took off his boxers. He kissed her passionately and the sound from her sobs stopped. Her mother felt as though her child had peacfully fallen asleep. He kissed her all around her face until the tracks from her tears were no longer visible. When his lips moved from her face the sobbing continued. He kissed her down her neck and ribs and gently pulled off her under wear so they were naked against each other. He kissed each of her perrtruding hip bones and placed his hands where the kiss marks had been. The girl said she wasn't sure anymore. He sat up a little more. He said ok. She asked if he was ok. He smiled and said sure. He put his boxers on. She put her underwear on. He switched on the light. She sat on her ankles and he sat behind her and helped her put her bra on. Slowly they put there clothes back on. Then they sat next to each. Their arms touched. She said she didn't want to do it to help the pain. He said he understood as he put his shoes back on. He said to meet at the feild at sunrise. She smiled and said ok and she could do that.