chapter six: fear | Teen Ink

chapter six: fear

June 15, 2010
By weebnini DIAMOND, San Diego, California
weebnini DIAMOND, San Diego, California
55 articles 3 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Done & Over"

"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."

"People should be able to say how they feel. How they really feel. Not, you know, some words that some strangers put in their mouth."


I had no answer. None.

"Will you let me explain?" I jumped and saw Aoran sitting by another tree to my left.

"Explain what?" I questioned, curling myself up and resting my forhead to my knees.

"Myself; so you won't be mad at me."

"Conceited much?" I muttered under my breath.

"I'm trying, Sophie."

"Trying to what?"

"Explain." I lifted up my head and looked at him. He sat cross-legged like a lovesick school boy. I put my head back down sideways- still staring at him, waiting for him to continue.

"Gerry did it."

"Did what?"

"He texted you that night- on prom night." No. NO, NO, NO! This isn't happening. Please, no. "I didn't do it. I never wanted-" I stopped his rush of an explanation.

"Why can't you just accept it?" I don’t want this. I don’t want him.

"What?" Aoran's questioning gaze looked into my eyes and I held it steadily.

"Accept that maybe I've moved on." I could push him away- far away. I could start over. I could do it. I could live without him.

He looked down at his hands and was silent. "If that's the case, then-"

"That is the case." I lied. I just wanted him gone and out of my life.

"Are you saying that you don't have any- at all- feelings for me?" In his voice I heard the pain I inflicted on him. I was sorry, but not that sorry.

"I'm saying that I want you to leave." The words hung in the air and even as much as I wanted to hurl myself into his arms, I had to say it.

He stood up and stepped closer to me. I looked up at him. "If I leave then that'll be one of the biggest mistakes of my life."

"And yet I still want you gone."

"And what if I don't want to go?"

I met his eyes and on the brink of tears I said, "Then I'll go." But my voice cracked and he heard it. He grabbed me and held me tightly against him. I struggled against his arm, but it was no use. Aoran had me and forced me to cry on his shoulder just like the first night he came back. He wouldn't let me run away. He knew me too well. He knew that I still loved him. He wanted me. Why else would he be here?

"Don't go, Sophie. Let's try again, please." He begged.

I didn't answer. I couldn't answer. I was still crying against his shoulder. His fingers ran through my hair and his other hand was locked around my body, holding me close to him. "I- I can't." I stuttered through my sobs.

"We've been together for three years. We can be together. Please." I looked up into his eyes and saw the true sincerity there. "I won't hurt you. I could never do that. I love you too much remember?"

I didn't want to say it. I didn't want to be pulled back into our love, but I couldn't stop myself either. "I love you, too."

He began to close in on me. He wanted to love me. He wanted to kiss me. But I pulled back.

“I can’t. I can’t do this.” I mumbled.

“Why not?”

“Because! You- you’re… your not supposed to be here.” I cried.

“But I am here!” he screamed at me.

“You should have left!”

“But I didn’t! I can’t! You’re here! Do you know how WRONG it feels for you to be here while I’m all the way across this darn country? I can’t live like that! I need to be here!” his voice lowered to a whisper as he held my hand with both of his. “I need to be with you. Can’t you tell? Can’t you see that I still love you?”

I could see it. As clear as glass, as clear as the cloudless night sky, I could see truth. But my fear was just as clear to me. And this struggle between Aoran and I was not between us at all. It was a struggle between his love and my fear. It wasn't a fight either. The winner, if there was one at all was just the person who lasted the longest.

Love that lasted this long and even longer was true enough. Fear that overcame it was true also. And I was scared. Scared of him, scared of myself and of the future that was in front of me.

“Yes,” I answered.



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This article has 35 comments.


on Aug. 22 2010 at 10:32 pm
Lovely_Lauren GOLD, Portland, Oregon
10 articles 0 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." -Anonymous

yes of course! your're an amazing writer.. why not? (:

on Aug. 22 2010 at 2:09 pm
weebnini DIAMOND, San Diego, California
55 articles 3 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Done & Over"

"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."

"People should be able to say how they feel. How they really feel. Not, you know, some words that some strangers put in their mouth."

yes yes yes:) but i'm trying to write more.. its just somewhat hard haha, but in the meantime:) can u try to read other stories? i think u mite like one of my pieces called Not Again plz? 

on Aug. 22 2010 at 3:01 am
Lovely_Lauren GOLD, Portland, Oregon
10 articles 0 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." -Anonymous

Okay. I just need to clarify... is there another chapter?? Because i love the other ones! You're an amazing writer... (:

on Aug. 10 2010 at 8:56 pm
weebnini DIAMOND, San Diego, California
55 articles 3 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Done & Over"

"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."

"People should be able to say how they feel. How they really feel. Not, you know, some words that some strangers put in their mouth."

aww:) i officially have eight fans of this story:) !! THANKYOU GUYS!! <3

on Aug. 10 2010 at 8:44 pm
live.laugh.write BRONZE, Orlando, Florida
4 articles 1 photo 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” -Dr. Seuss

I really love these! I've read all of them, and I can't wait for the next chapter! :D

on Aug. 10 2010 at 9:09 am
WritingLoverForever PLATINUM, Bowling Green, Ohio
32 articles 2 photos 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
It's not about success; it's about significance.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

I'm in love with this! I can't wait for chapter 7!

on Jul. 27 2010 at 10:28 pm
weebnini DIAMOND, San Diego, California
55 articles 3 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Done & Over"

"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."

"People should be able to say how they feel. How they really feel. Not, you know, some words that some strangers put in their mouth."

:') thanks

on Jul. 27 2010 at 10:24 pm
Ebonykitty SILVER, Naples, Florida
8 articles 1 photo 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
You can't run out of dreams. Dreams are the start of everything...

I've read them all too, and they're wonderful! I need more, it's beautiful. :D

 

~ Ebony ~


on Jul. 26 2010 at 10:37 am
ThatClarinetPerson SILVER, Tequesta, Florida
8 articles 0 photos 226 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life. Don't talk to me about life."
~Marvin the Paranoid Android (from the Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy series)
Statistical analysis suggests that i am probably in tune with someone
(hahahahaha! I love this cause i'm never ever ever in tune >o

XD and i see you have a bit of an ego too =P ok. i'll stop bugging you and let you write me more stuff...SLAVE jkjkjkjk hahahahaha =P

on Jul. 25 2010 at 10:02 pm
weebnini DIAMOND, San Diego, California
55 articles 3 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Done & Over"

"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."

"People should be able to say how they feel. How they really feel. Not, you know, some words that some strangers put in their mouth."

aww:) thanks i <3 my writing too! haha

on Jul. 25 2010 at 10:01 pm
weebnini DIAMOND, San Diego, California
55 articles 3 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Done & Over"

"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."

"People should be able to say how they feel. How they really feel. Not, you know, some words that some strangers put in their mouth."

oh my gosh. u have to know that i'm teary rite now... no one has actually been all... idk, lovey dovey about it? as in tehy REALLY love it and they REALLY need it and stuff like u:) 

 

THANKYOU SOOOOOO MUCH<3


on Jul. 12 2010 at 12:57 pm
LiveLife2theMax GOLD, Wicklow, Other
12 articles 4 photos 74 comments

Favorite Quote:
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.
-Robert Frost

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.
-Kurt Cobain

okay.. i have read it all
and i love it all
and i need you to write more :L

amazing writing by the way.. i've got a reminder everytime you write something :L

love it :)


on Jul. 3 2010 at 9:07 am
ThatClarinetPerson SILVER, Tequesta, Florida
8 articles 0 photos 226 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life. Don't talk to me about life."
~Marvin the Paranoid Android (from the Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy series)
Statistical analysis suggests that i am probably in tune with someone
(hahahahaha! I love this cause i'm never ever ever in tune >o

aww. darn it. the reason i asked is because i love it so much that i can't wait for more =P

on Jul. 3 2010 at 1:04 am
weebnini DIAMOND, San Diego, California
55 articles 3 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Done & Over"

"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."

"People should be able to say how they feel. How they really feel. Not, you know, some words that some strangers put in their mouth."

wow:) idk? did i use too much of a cliff hanger? haha, well my usb broke and all my stories are on it so my writing just broke down at the moment >.< so i guess it'll be a while haha

on Jul. 2 2010 at 5:14 pm
ThatClarinetPerson SILVER, Tequesta, Florida
8 articles 0 photos 226 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life. Don't talk to me about life."
~Marvin the Paranoid Android (from the Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy series)
Statistical analysis suggests that i am probably in tune with someone
(hahahahaha! I love this cause i'm never ever ever in tune >o

<3 this :) when does the next one come out? =P